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It just keeps getting worse

stressed1's picture

Submitted by stressed1 on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:03pm

I just received a call from a detective saying that SS9 and BM are pressing charges on me claiming that I didn't feed him for 2 days. I'm so devastated. Idk what to do.

Comments

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:05pm

Just tell the truth. Be calm and confident.

This is your deal breaker. It is time for SS to not come into your home anymore. Your DH will need to see him outside the home.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:12pm

OP - slow your roll - first of all, BM and a kid cannot "press charges" against you. Only a local prosecutor can do that. What likely happened is that BM called the police to whine and complain so the police will come out to talk to you.

Tell them the truth. It will all be alright.

Oh, and DH sees that brat outside of your house.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:26pm

Accusations were my boundary, too, which is why DH's mom is at the house with the skids, DH is in California and I am in a hotel Smile

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:16pm

Did the detective ask you to come in for an interview? Did he say anything about Child Protective Services being involved?

BM cannot just press charges against you. She can file a complaint and the police and maybe CPS will investigate. Certain elements have to be present for actual charges to be filed. If you can remember, write down what you fed him for the last two days.

Personally, I would go ahead and get a lawyer. I wouldn't talk to anyone without the lawyer present. That may not be necessary in your case - you need to do what works for you.

Under no circumstance should you be around that child - even if DH is present.

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:29pm

Agree with everyone else. If they didn't ask you to come in or say they were coming to the house to talk to you? Then it was bullshit. It was a friend of BM's trying to scare you. If they did ask you to come down, go. Be honest, answer their questions. If they come to your home, before you let them in call the department and verify that the officers on your doorstep are really detectives. Tell them through the locked door "I'm just going to call the department to verify your identity. Please wait a moment, I'll be right back" then go call. I wouldn't even let them inside until being sure because I don't know how crazy your BM is and what her friends might do.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:34pm

That's good advice. You could maybe even call the police department now and see if they can tell you an incident or case number for the case and verify that the name that you were given is a real detective.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:31pm

I have no real advice, my only thought is don't empty your trash can so you can show them the remnants of what he ate. Also if you have any of his dirty clothes with food splatters on them you could get keep them dirty too?

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 3:39pm

Think about it. A detective investigating a 9 yr old saying he wasn't fed for 2 days? Wouldn't this get passed onto CPS first? In fact why not contact CPS and say you have received a call form a detective saying you did not feed your ss for 2 days. Report yourself (in effect). They will follow up and check to see if it is legit. And if it is, they can get involved. IF it isn't they will investigate themselves if you provide names etc.

These kids think they are Teflon Dons with their lies. When will someone tell them that they will be taken away from their parent who is supporting their claim if they are lying? Let the little liars sit in juvie for the weekend while 'it is sorted out' just to keep all parties 'safe'

FrenchPeas's picture

Submitted by FrenchPeas on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 4:03pm

Isn't this the kid who you RECORDED running his stupid mouth for an hour about all his lies and how he wanted to get at you? LMAO say an officer shows up, tell him to sit down. Make him popcorn and a drink and hit play. Guess who will be in trouble for making false reports.

Calm down. Think rationally. You have all you need to shut that crap down.

Devastated? I would be laughing and tell them to come on with it.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 4:55pm

You should call the police station and ask them about this supposed investigation and if they've never heard of it then you need to file harassment charges on BM. She's messing with you and stressing you out. You definitely need to call CPS and also ask them about any pending investigation on your because if they are already practicing reporting you then you need to cover your bases and make both police and CPS aware of their games so you don't get wrongfully blamed.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 10:55pm

As you well know Sue, we are all just a bunch of overly emotional women. And dumb.....don't forget, we are not smart like you. Blum 3

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Thu, 10/22/2015 - 12:32am

Even if the story is not legit, a lot of good advice was given. If something like this happens to someone else - maybe they will find some of the advice helpful.

stressed1's picture

Submitted by stressed1 on Thu, 10/22/2015 - 7:34am

Unfortunately, you are wrong. Although, I wish this was make believe it isn't. The only thing made up is the poison spewing from SS. Do people really come on here and make stuff up?

stressed1's picture

Submitted by stressed1 on Thu, 10/22/2015 - 7:27am

It was an actual detective that contacted me. The story sounds so rediculous because it came from a deranged little boy. He contacted me before he spoke to SS and told me the allegations and asked what exactly went on. I told him exactly what SS ate that day for breakfast, lunch which my mom bought him, and dinner. I also sent the videos where SS admitted he had been telling lies about us and that he would do it again because he "felt like it." The detective used the info I gave him and SS's story started changing and changing. So I'm not going to be arrested. The detective told me SS did it because he was mad that I didn't let him ride the rides at the fair. Mr. Detective also told me SS seems to be having some severe problems and needs counseling. He also thinks that everything can be worked out between DH and BM and it sounds like I need a "little break." So SS walks away again having just tried to destroy DH's,DD's, and my life. So, yesterday BM also ditched SS I think she beat her record, she had him 2 whole days. MIL now has him and she believes his lies and thinks SS just needs to be loved. I can't wait till he shows his true colors with her. DH rushed in from work so I wasn't going through this alone. He also decided on his own to relenquish his parental rights and walk away. I think I believe him too.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Thu, 10/22/2015 - 7:31am

I'm sorry, could I ask you to clarify. Your husband says "He also decided on his own to relenquish his parental rights and walk away."?

So his child is having some serious problems lying and he is going to cut him off? Or am I misunderstanding?

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Thu, 10/22/2015 - 7:43am

W T H?? So dad is dumping SS for being a little lying liar hole? Sorry I am struggling here.

stressed1's picture

Submitted by stressed1 on Fri, 10/23/2015 - 2:48pm

DH is desperate. I am terrified of SS being back in her home. I have recently found out that he has become violent.It would be a matter of time before he harmed DD's or myself. We can't afford to pay for separate houses and at this point none of my family or our friends want SS in their homes or around their children. DH and most of his family are not on speaking terms because they believe SS's lies. The juvenile officer told us at this point our best option is to give BM full custody so DH cannot be held responsible for any crimes SS commits. DH took it a step further and relinquished his rights as a last resort. DH obviously cannot help SS but maybe now he can qualify for a local program, maybe BM's boyfriend wants to help, maybe when MIL runs out of state with him they stumble across resources somewhere. Idk but at least now I know I can live without a 9yr old terror in my home. I'll be prepared in case I do need to take care of my self in the future. Hopefully everything works out for all of us SS included.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Thu, 10/22/2015 - 1:05pm

OP, did you look at the sites I put in your last blog? If nothing else, have DH give the information to MIL.

Geeez.....no wonder this kid is a hot mess, he knows deep in his soul that no one except his MIL loves him.

Guess this will be our next school shooter. Great. Sad

stressed1's picture

Submitted by stressed1 on Fri, 10/23/2015 - 12:23pm

I did look at the sites, thanks. The first site is for older children, which is most of what we've heard about local programs. The second is located in New York. Unfortunately, with a family of 6 on my husband's income we are only slightly above the poverty line and we do not qualify for government assistance. We can only afford some type of local program. Believe me I have searched and searched for anything that might help.