Once you are finished with your pity party.....brush yourself off and DO SOMETHING about it.

Hey, I have 'fuck it' moments and feel tempted to get dressed up, hit the town and drink the night away! But that would just make ME the asshole, never mind the reason that pushed me to it (partner neglecting the issues in our relationship and leaving me exposed to suffer from BS from HIS ex).

Swimming, sorry it's going so badly. Not exactly a surprise, though. Either your wife has changed over the years, or she never really was who she convinced you she was. One way to achieve that glowing look of the perfect couple is to hold in your own opinions and desires and reflect back to the partner what he wants to see. People who are being authentic have a bit of conflict now and then. People who are putting on a show put up a mask instead of their true self. Whether it's a genuine change or who she was all along, this is who your wife is now.

Kick the boys out yourself as some in your last thread suggested. It'll be a good way to get to the bottom of this. Either your wife will support you or you'll finally see there's no good way out. Just out.

BTW, this site is for venting. You're allowed to spew unhappy feelings here.

I hope you went to the strip club, had a couple drinks, and let a pretty girl smile at you - what is the big deal? You can make the hard decisions tomorrow.

Why would you give her flowers? She's not very lovable right now.

Listen, it is important that a wife respect her husband. You are not being treated with respect. Giving her MORE is not called for. I support the strip club idea, and I think you shouldn't try to hide it from her.

Heck, if she finds out, you can finally stand up for yourself in a way that commands her respect. Don't be surprised if her reaction is one of name-calling, guilt-tripping, and derision. Even if those are present, you're acting like a man who respects himself and has needs acts. That is tons better than a "Wow, you're treating me badly. Let me try to romance you more" in terms of long-term outcome.

You are man, hear you roar.

A long story, but I recently had to try and find a strip club to take some visitors to. While reading on-line reviews I noticed many of them complained about the same problem. Not much chance to just watch the dancers as there was too much hustle going on.

Do you have a friend you could out with for awhile after work - friday afternoon club? Obviously I am supporting your "putting everything off for now" phase!

I completely understand you though about not wanting to go home. I felt that way for many years when we had skids living with us. It's mentally draining.