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Oh HELL no! What is my DH THINKING?!?!?

AllySkoo's picture

So, we need a babysitter for next week, 2 days from 8 am to 5 pm. OSD24 and her H are good babysitters for us (they've only done evenings a few times). YSD18 is also good with the kids, although she hasn't babysat for us in quite a while (since she got pregnant last year, in fact).

DH decided to ask YSD if she would babysit. The reasoning (and I agree as far as that goes) is that YSD needs the money WAY more, what with having a 5 month old and her stupid, abusive, loser H constantly quitting jobs because they "don't appreciate" him and all. In fact, DH offered YSD FOUR days worth of babysitting, even though we already have someone for the other 2 days. *sigh* Fine.

Then a few things happened. YSD was supposed to come over for Father's Day, but her H told her she wasn't allowed. So she stayed home. THEN I find out that YSD also has no child care for her OWN child, and would be bringing the baby - leaving an 18 year old responsible for 4 children ages 6 and under. I am NOT comfortable with that. Babies require a lot of attention - and I would prefer if I'm paying someone to pay attention to MY children that they do that.

But my bigger concern is SD's H. What if I tell this other person we don't need her, and then SD's H tells her she can't come over? I certainly wouldn't put it past him. DH told her that even if H tells her she can't come, she has to come anyway. RIGHT! THAT'S going to work! And if I get some tearful phone call at 8 am Monday morning about how her H forbid her to come and took her keys, WHAT THE HELL DO I DO THEN??

I have three choices. I can either go along with DH and say that we're going to give YSD all 4 days, and just cross my fingers that it works. Two, I can keep the person I have for the first couple days and tell YSD she can have the other two days (and tell OSD I may need her as backup if it all goes sideways). Or, three, I can keep the person I have for the first 2 days and give the second 2 days to OSD. (Who, honestly, could also use the money. Her DH can't have kids and they're saving up for an IVF.)

I'm leaning towards giving the job to OSD, but that TOTALLY makes me the bad guy. Option 2 would be all right, it just sort of leaves me in limbo each morning wondering if YSD will be allowed to come. I think I have to tell my DH that giving all 4 days to YSD isn't an option though. (OSD would NOT be available as backup the first couple days, leaving me with too much risk I think.)

What do you guys think? And why does my DH not see this as a problem?!??! Is it because he'd already be at work so any fallout would be left totally to me??? I may have to kill him...

Comments

zerostepdrama's picture

YSD sounds unreliable and too many issues and what ifs. I would tell your DH that it just wont work with her. I wouldnt risk being late for work or having to call off because of her.

I would be okay with her bringing her baby though. Most people who babysit dont find a babysitter for their own kids so they can babysit for someone else.

AllySkoo's picture

Honestly, you've got a point there about "what if her H shows up at my house". I will NOT - and I've told DH I will not - allow him near my children without me there. I've seen him "play" with my older son - and let's just say THAT will not happen again. (He was so mean he left my then 5 year old in tears, and then he made fun of him for crying. ASSHOLE. He also refused to let my 2 year old daughter play with them because "girls can't play this". Grrrrrrr.....)

Her H *should* be working though, so he *shouldn't* be showing up at my house. Still, it's another factor to consider.

AllySkoo's picture

No kidding Sweet Pea, it just kills me! Several women here who've been in these sorts of relationships have assured me that SD18 will eventually see the light - the only question is how much damage is done in the meantime.

I'll tell DH tonight that we're keeping the other woman for the first 2 days, and SD18 can take the next two days. That's lower risk, since I'd have OSD to come if anything happened. And honestly, the thought of SD18 getting some money of her own (and out of the house, even if just for the day) has some appeal for me. (Which, of course, is EXACTLY why her stupid H is going to try to ruin it. Anything that makes her harder to control must be stopped. *sigh*)