BF and his planning his vacation just to cause problems
So I get an email from BF. My vacation with kids will be abc-xyz. I email him back and let him know, it would be fine except the kids start school in the middle of those dates, so that doesn't work.
He responded back with well, I wasn't asking for your opinion I was telling you my vacation days, I don't give a damn what you think.
I contact my attorney and the family law clerks office to verify and respond with,
The very definition of vacation is no work, no school. In the State of XYZ Summer vacation ends at 6pm the Sunday before school starts as the courts give time for the primary household to make sure children are ready for school. Since you must give 30 days notice and 1 week prior to the Sunday before school starts is GHI, you have until such date to give notice or you forfeit your 1 week vacation. Thank you
He responded to me, and angry runon but I'm not responding. You know things are bad when the family law clerks at the courthouse tell me, you know he is doing this just to see if he can get away with it, and since you count on to the game and stopped it, be prepared to talk to your kids about it before hand as we both know he will spin this to mom took my vacation away. According to child support division notes, looks like he has a new job. What do you want to bet he can't get anytime off and this is his way to spin it for the kids?
This is a Father that makes fun of our OCD, Aspergier sons school to the child (BF has no legal custody) as not attended anything or even contacted schools in 2 1/2 years even though I gave both schools notorized letters giving my permission for the teachers to talk to BF about the kids. This is the same BF that the day we thought DD was getting her braces (turned out prep day, they went over care with DD braces day is in like 5 days) spent the morning and drive to the drop off telling DD every bad thing he had ever heard about braces. Great job BF, take something she is excited about and stomp all over it. A@@hole
Yeh, I know he will call the cops the Saturday before school starts when I don't show up at exchange. When he does crap like this, I do wonder is it all a game? What is the point? To cause problems? Drama? To try to engage me? To spin it with the kids like I'm horrible? To try to take it back to court? Seriously what is the point??
I know most of you deal with this crap from BM, I get to deal with it from BF. And then the kids get yelled at for having a shitty mom.
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I'm so pissed for you after
I'm so pissed for you after reading that. Why can't adults ACT like adults. Total BS.
His idea of us acting like
His idea of us acting like adults and getting along, is me agreeing with everything he says.
About the time DD started middle school I let him know in email
As I'm sure you know, in the state of XYZ when one parent has sole legal custody, the schools requires permission from that parent to speak to the other parent. Please see attachment as this document was turn into the school today. Have a good day!!
The document was the notorized letter giving the school permission to discuss DDs IEP, and all class work. I did cover (has recommended by my attorney and the school) what is and isn't allowed ( BF is not to make any decisions regarding DDs education)
BFs response was F YOU I don't need your permission, you are not the fing boss of me
I was soo tempted to respond with, ok permission removed, good luck trying. I just didn't respond.
Sounds exactly like my
Sounds exactly like my exH.
Thank god I never had (and never wanted anyway) kids with him!
I feel your pain sister.
I feel your pain sister. Actually he is making mine look pretty good in comparison.
Seriously!!! Even if it was,
Seriously!!! Even if it was, what makes him think messing up their routine and taking away the last weekend to prepare for school is in their best interest??? He of course told me "to think of the children " WTF?!?! Why don't you? This is either to try and fuck me by taking my weekend or try to make sure I'm not the one taking them or just because he wants to. He actually said in email I think you try me like shit ( I don't talk to him. All communication is through email, I have emailed him less then 6 times this year) so I'm going to treat you like shit. In his email he admitted this is to get back at me for what he has decided is me treating him like shit. Which is really me not bowing down to him and just getting on with my life.
Ugh, I'm sorry.
Ugh, I'm sorry.
It is a constant thing with
It is a constant thing with him. And no, he doesn't get that time anyways. I have worked with him, but if I don't give him every little thing he wants im treating him like shit. He has no legal custody, his extended summer time with them is one week. In our court order it even states father is not to be given extended visits. I've over looked for 4 years that he has taken our sons birthday every year. I've over looked that he had turned 1 week into 9 days by doing it after his weekend ( our order states 1 week, I co have had the cops go pick up the kids day 8, as it states, holidays, and summer vacation over ride normal visitation) he has had nothing to do with their schooling ever. Even married he has never been to the yearly IEP meeting for DD, hasn't never talked to DS school. He does his weekends, tries to cause problems but takes no responsibility of them. He tells the kids his child support pays for everything I buy them ( at the recommendations of their therapists I showed them our bills, our bank account and the online child support statement that shows he is $12,000 in areas. This was done in with their counselors )
I don't shit talk him, I try to not even talk about him. But I spend so much time undoing the bullshit he feeds them. Just last weekend, mom dad asked me if I could bring over my stuff from the baseball game I went to but said you would probably say no. My response DS read this. It was an email from BF threatening to break anything the kids brought over as I'm only supposed to send clothest for them to come home in. Sometimes DS wanted to show him stuff. DS responded but mom he makes me bring some things home and makes me bring them back to his house. I know son. But why would he do that and ask to see this stuff if he just told you he will break it? I don't know son but that is why my answer is no. Ok mom, I do want it broke he would probably break it and then say I told your mom, he has done things like that before. Well, I'm not bringing thing home from there either then mom. Ok son good idea
I would prefer to not have these conversations with bios. I would prefer BF didn't play these games. Both counselors spent a little bit of time to convince me it truly is in their best interest that I show them facts but keep my opinion out of it.
Gahhhh the whole thing stresses me out.
If I had that answer, I think
If I had that answer, I think I would be able to remove most of the problems we in this type of situation face. Not only do I not understand BF, I don't get why he continues to say " you need to put you children ahead of your own feelings " well no shit, how about you try that sometime?!?!