Just saw something that made my blood boil...

I won't say where I saw it, but….Basically, it was a BM who was shocked at the CS she was awarded. $595.00 a WEEK for 2 kids. She stated that she feels really bad because she knows her ex will struggle.
The ex makes 2k a week GROSS as a truck driver.
Now, here is where I got annoyed. Some women were telling her that if they ordered that amount it's cause he could afford it. I tend to disagree with that statement.
While making 104k a year, is nothing to sneeze at, it is not, by ANY means, a phenomenal amount of money. Especially, if you live on the East coast.
Some women were saying 1400.00 a week is more than enough to live on. Yes, if it was in fact that he was left with $1400.00 a week, but it WON'T BE $1400.00 a week. What about withholding taxes? Medical insurance, state tax, disability, social security, medicare.
What about the cost of HIS residence? What if he has another family? What about commuting costs? If he drives a truck and he owns it, I assume he is responsible for the repairs.
I don't know ladies, is it wrong of me that I feel bad for this man?

ETA: After taxes and CS he'll be left with approximately 37k a year. How is that FAIR?

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600.00 a week??? $2400.00 a

600.00 a week??? $2400.00 a month????

If the guy makes 8000.00 a month gross, his net would most likely be somewhere in the $6000.00 a month range? So that is almost HALF of his take home. That's bull shit.

Did BM have a job?????

Yes, the BM makes $400.00 a

Yes, the BM makes $400.00 a week. I seriously felt SO bad for this man! And honestly, if he were MY husband? I'd make him quit his fucking job. It'll be a cold day in hell I'd let my DH send BM $2400.00 a month. Fuck that shit.
Even the BM in this scenario KNEW that it was wrong.

> I'd make him quit his

> I'd make him quit his fucking job.<

Ah...Careful. Back in the day, father's trying to get out of paying CS used to do that. Courts wizened up and still held the father responsible for the established CS (not sure if it's true everywhere).

I have heard this is the case

I have heard this is the case but there are so many men that fly under the radar and NEVER pay a PENNY, like BOTH of my ex husbands. It is what it is, I don't care anymore, my kids are grown now but it's still a crock of shit to me that people can actually get this kind of money just because the ex works harder than they do.

Unfortunately my exH does

Unfortunately my exH does this. He goes through 10 jobs on average in a year. I'm not kidding. He was ordered to pay $442 a month for 3 boys. Every time child support figures out where he's working he quits his job. This has been going on for years. Child support was awarded in 2012. He's already $6700 in arrears. We get about $53 a month and child support won't do a damn thing. They said he's not in contempt because "he's paying something".
We hired a lawyer. He told us it's a waste of time as the court might lower his CS obligation as he's a deadbeat and has shown that he can't pay the $442 a month. He said you can't get blood out of a turnip and we would spend more in lawyers fees than what he owes in arrears. Oh yes, he doesn't pay rent (lives with family for free) and our rent is $2800 a month. We haven't seen a dime of the thousands we've paid in medical bills which he was ordered to pay 50%. I brought this to CS attention. They told me I need to save up my bills and once I have spent $1000 out of pocket then they will attach it to his arrears. They said to make sure I send him the copies of the bills with proof of payment within 30 days of receiving them. If I don't show proof that I have done this within 30 days then he doesn't have to pay.
The court and CS have been treating my family unfairly for years!

What's happening to this poor guy is terrible. I feel badly for him. My DH paid over $3500 in support to his ex when they divorced back in the 80's!!!!! The BM saved none of the money for the kids future. Isn't that awful? I guess since he has a good job that CS isn't worried about my kids. I am disabled and suffering from a rare disease. My DH is an angel and is helping me take care of my boys. I'm so grateful for his help. It's truly a gift. Someday I hope to get better and I will pay him back. My boys are aware of the situation. They hardly see their dad. They are older so they know more than they should. They are very grateful to DH for taking such good care of them. We are truly blessed but I believe even though we live very comfotably, it still doesn't absolve my exH from helping out financially.

Not to mention health care

Not to mention health care and 401k. How can someone contribute to retirement when that is what they are left with. If I assume he is American, that means he's required to have health insurance. If he is self employed he makes way too much gross to qualify for the marketplace so he's looking at 300/month with a private insurance company assuming he's healthy.

I was pretty saddened for

I was pretty saddened for this person. Yes, they are from the East coast. Some bitches were saying they get more than that!!! I was like "what?!?!?!" I can't even imagine what I could do with $2400.00 a month in CS. For starters, my kids would have a VERY stacked bank account, that's for sure!
This system is soooo screwed up.

That's the quandry my DH was

That's the quandry my DH was in for 17 long years.... although he has great health insurance thru his employer, he could contribute very little to his retirement without absolutely scrimping on normal living due to the amount of CS he was paying. And no, he didn't live extravagantly when he was single. He never went anywhere because he worked 2nd shift during the week and had his kids every weekend. He drove an older pick-up.

In his case, for whatever outrageous reason, his CS was based on HIS income only as "total income" - BM didn't work and was not imputed at minimum wage. So basically he was paying for HIS and HER contributions.

When it came time to stop CS he kind of felt guilty because he said he felt like he was throwing his kids under the bus. I asked him who was going to support him in his old age because he'd barely been able to put anything away in a 401K... certainly not his exwife.

401k…Funny you mention that,

401k…Funny you mention that, I read an article last week that American's aren't saving enough for retirement and the comment section blew me away. EVERYONE said the same thing. "Save for retirement? I'm just happy I can pay my bills this month!"
I totally get where they are coming from. I've been in the same company for 22 years, no 401k available and I have ZERO stashed for retirement. If I'm lucky, I'll live long enough to pay my house off in full.

This is what happened to my

This is what happened to my hubby when they shared custody. Could not believe it. Why in the world do they not compute 40 works a week at minimum wage? Minimum earning potential. It is such an unfair system. My ex gives very till CS. He works under the table so he hides his $$ well.

Seriously need to start a

Seriously need to start a website... something like Keepyourflyzipped.com and people need to post these stories for teenagers and men to read. I wish there was something like this when DH was a young buck. Would have saved us both a whole bunch of drama and money.

Thats total Bullshit! I

Thats total Bullshit! I understand it costs a lot to raise children but the fact is...some BM's need to get off their asses and do their share.
I can't even get my XH to pay a freaking $50 a week let along $650.00 a week.
Im sure this poor guy even has to provide health insurance and 1/2 of all the medical bills too.

Sounds like NEW YORK STATE!

Sounds like NEW YORK STATE! Chef was paying $340 a week whilst earning $15 an hour/40 hour work week. And the courts saw NO problem with that. Oh and he was also ordered to carry health and dental--for the BM as well until the divorce was finalized--which of course she dragged her feet for almost 2 years.

Oh and in addition, half of all extra curriculars and out of pocket costs. This was his WONDERFUL mediation agreement in which SHE lawyered up and he went pro se DESPITE everyone warning him to the contrary--including me. He didn't even read what he was signing his life away to--out of guilty daddy syndrome.

I read that she said they

I read that she said they were in DC.

Obviously not, she said she

Obviously not, she said she makes $400.00 a week, so how can she contribute $600?

Who says she has no

Who says she has no responsibility? If she's working, she's likely providing some support. With he difference in their incomes, she should be providing about 17% of the kid's needs.

That's how it works when you

That's how it works when you have children with someone who has a substantially different income than your own...you pick up more of the cost. Or less, as the case may be.

My husband pays a larger percentage of our household bills right now because his income is more. In my former marriage, I paid a larger percentage because my income was higher.

I don't know how "nice" it is

I don't know how "nice" it is - I'm not sure I could support MYSELF on $400 a week, let alone me and 2 kids. While I think the CS assessed is too high, I also think the discrepancy in their earnings does warrant him paying more.

Now, if she WAS making the same salary as him when they were married and then took a dead end job on purpose in order to get more CS, then I'd feel differently. But if this was what she always made, or was capable of making, then I figure he was already paying more of the costs of care so it's not really unfair.

In my state, a not-working

In my state, a not-working parent (or a parent not working to their potential) is assessed an income. At least minimum wage, with no employment or educational history.

I'm assessed a 6-figure income, even though I'm not currently working at that level.

In Chef's case, the Girhippo

In Chef's case, the Girhippo was listed as "Stay in Bed Mom" so they figured her at ZERO income.

Up until then, she was getting ALL of Chef's pay for six months and plenty of money from her well heeled, red-neck-that-think-they're-royalty family. She actually has a Bachelor's degree (that Chef paid for during their marriage) but "chose" to stay at home and not work after they split.

"Not certain I see a major

"Not certain I see a major inequity here."

No, of course you wouldn't.

CS will be almost 31k. Not

CS will be almost 31k. Not 25. So basically, a woman should be PAID to care for her children. Because see, I lived with my Bio's for their entire lives and sadly the dads were deadbeats. Does that mean I can just throw my kids in the trash and not take care of them because I couldn't find a mans wallet to do it for me?

My first ex, as soon as the

My first ex, as soon as the CS letter got to his job, he quit and disappeared. The second ex, never had a job that wasn't under the table. I never, in my entire life, oldest Bio is 29, saw a DIME for my children. My DH on the other hand, to date, has paid almost 200k for his kids in CS to a woman who does not spend a penny of it on her kids.
So when I see these types of orders, I can't help but think that there has to be something wrong with a system that makes the good dads pay for the deadbeat dads. It's not right.

While they were husbands,

While they were husbands, they were great providers, it was after the divorce that they turned into scum. But thank you for the advice tommar, no offense taken.

MY DH pays $2500 per month

MY DH pays $2500 per month for two kids. BM doesn't work and never has. She contributes nothing financially and NY is just fine with that. Only the NCP has to pay or provide.

Good ol' GUBM NYS!!!

Good ol' GUBM NYS!!! :barf:

DUP

SportsFan that sucks really

SportsFan that sucks really bad. I'd be so pissed.

He also covers 70% of all

He also covers 70% of all medical. She takes her 30% out of the child support so I'm not really sure how that even makes any sense. She even gets 25% of his military pension that started this year. At this point we just try not to think about it since we can't change it and count the days until the youngest turns 21. 21 in NY as well.

OMG sportsfan. That seems so

OMG sportsfan. That seems so unfair. 21??? Holy cow! Just doesn't seem right to me. Is it 21 if the kid attends college? Im visualizing a 21yo living at home, sitting on his ass playing video games and doing nothing while BM is getting paid for an adult. I'm just curious. I'm on the west coast. OMG :jawdrop:

They don't have to be in

They don't have to be in college. There are a lot of particulars but the base of it is if the child is financially supporting themselves. For example if my BS were to work full time saving money for college and still live with me, his BD would still pay until he's 21. If he's watching video games, same thing as long as he is still living with me. I actually recently checked on this since BD is encouraging our son not to go to college right away. He wants to pay the three years of CS and nothing toward college. There is a clause in our agreement that says if BS doesn't go right after high school, he's off the hook for college.

Sounds like my DH situation

Sounds like my DH situation and we are in the Southeast. DH also with 100% med coverage and related costs. He was sleeping on a twin mattress on the floor in a rented room with ZERO retirement. No extravagances. Fortunately, CS ends at 18 or high school graduation whichever is later here.

I didn't even think of that.

I didn't even think of that. Hmmmm, good point.

There are many things that

There are many things that could account for that #.

Is daycare included if they are under 12? It is here. Full-time Daycare here is around $130-150 per week last I heard. Before and after care is around $100 per week. So, for two kids, that would be $200-300 per week. With their income differential, that would have Dad's portion being $166-249 and Mom's portion being $34-51 per week.

Does Mom carry the insurance? If he's a truck driver, I bet she does. Our family coverage (what it would be for 2 kids) is $249 per month, and from what I hear, that's cheap. Dad's portion would be 83% of that, so $47.69 per week.

Those are just estimates, but that would be $213.69-$296.69 per week that would be Dad's portion of Medical Insurance & Daycare, leaving just $381.31-298.31 of that $595 per week amount for child support. That's 15%-19% of his gross income.

Sadly, daycare and healthcare are expensive. I was thrilled when I didn't have the daycare expense anymore.

You are right on the daycare,

You are right on the daycare, and summer time is worse. Mine is 175.00 a week now and what I get in CS doesn't come close to covering it. Plus my health care cost doubled this year. My ex bitches but he got off easy. SOmetimes a guy should think twice before he abuses his wife..I always say what did he think was going to happen when he ruined 2 marriages with his selfish abusive behavior.

Wow. First off I am inpressed

Wow. First off I am inpressed that he makes that as I date a truck driver and when he was over the road and working his ass off never made that much. Now he is working his ass off locally and is a 1099 employee and makes less. It is a hard ass life people!!!

If this guy is over the road he probably barely sees his kids and will have to live lika a transient out of that truck which is awful. Plus when he does get to see those kids he will have to stay with family or get a hotel.

You are here

Just saw something that made my blood boil...

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