Or is it just different?

So. I always believed that teaching my kids to have personal integrity, to not automatically jump in and support each other if the other was doing wrong - ummm - for example if one of my kids was being mean to someone else or causing fights, stealing from etc another child and the other child complained - I would expect the sibling to do the right thing not support or defend their sister if she was doing wrong. Does that make sense? I mean if there was a situation where one was being attacked for no reason then of course I would expect them to have sibling loyalty and to stand up for each other, but NOT if they thought their sister was in the wrong. It had been a point of contention between ex and I - he thought it was great that his kids supported each other and were loyal no matter what (so when SD would steal from, attack or otherwise be horrid to mine or when SS threatened to punch my dd in the face) they stood up and defended the sibling and he thought that was good and I thought it showed a complete lack of integrity.

I was just watching a TV show "Married at First Sight" or whatever the heck it's called (Aussie version) its the first time I've seen it. There was a couple on there and the woman got a bit angry at another woman and was quite aggressive, and her new husband offered her no support, no show of being there for her, no asking if she was ok or defending her to the others. And I thought, "yes, he should have showed her support, he should have been more on her side and talked to her later away from the others, she's his wife and she deserved his loyalty and support no matter what, this is what I never had from ex...."

DING DING DING the lightbulb was going off like crazy!!!!!

Am I a hypocrite? Or is it different?