I am step-mom to 2 SD's, ages 7 & 9. I've been in their lives since they were 2 & 4. I also have 3 bio sons of my own with my husband - ages 3, 2 and 8m.

Their Mother is a true problem in our relationship and always has been. She creates all kinds of problems and turmoil, primarily due to her jealousy...and it's blatant.

I'm posting today for advice on how all of you would hand a situation that occurred over this past weekend, and also for your thoughts about a couple other issues that are causing havoc my life.

To preface my story, it's important for you to know that the girls are very jealous and get angry and moody whenever I am close to my husband, or whenever he shows me love or whenever any kind of affection is shared between us. They also get upset whenever my sons are shows affection by my husband.

The girls were visiting with us (we have them ever other weekend). Saturday my husband worked until 2 pm. I got all 5 children up early, inflated our bouncy house/water slide, put up the slip & slide, made the kids breakfast and was outside by 8am for fun in the sun. My Mother joined us to lend a helping hand - 5 kids is a lot! It was a fun day, we smeared on sun screen and the kids pretended to be Indian Warriors. They seriously spent the whole day in the water. Later that night, the girls were complaining of some sunburn on their lower backs. We gave them some cucumber/aloe lotion to put on it and we didn't hear about the sunburn for the rest of the weekend (even when they took hot showers). We all told my husband about putting sunscreen on and running around like warriors.

Sunday morning, my oldest SD dumped a jug of juice all my kitchen counters and floor, which I can honestly say wouldn't phase me if it was done intentionally. I didn't even know of the spill until my 3 year old son told me about it. My husband was present, in an adjacent room, and I quietly got my Clorox out and cleaned up the spill. After that, I went into the living room, cuddled up next to my husband, and watched the anger boil over on my oldest SD's face. This has been a problem in our relationship because my husband tries to keep the peace, and sometimes will avoid showing me and the boys love and affection when the girls are around.

Sunday the girls went home, and later that night we got text messages and a picture of the sunburn on the oldest daugthers back. In the voice message, the girls are speaking with the mother (who was leading them in convo) and said that I refused to put sunscreen on them, cursed at them, and told them I was too busy with my sons. I was heartbroken to hear the lies! The older daughter went on to say that I yelled and screamed about her about the juice!

The ex went on to criticize my parenting style and how my husband and I discipline our boys. We are not in any way abusive, our boys receive lots of love and attention and give lots of love. I'm appalled that these lies and this defamation of my character is happening because of BM and the SKIDS! They're turning into the Mother! How would you all handle this situation in order to have peace for yourselves?

The ex said the girls don't want to come over to our house anymore because they don't want to be around me. They're saying I'm mean to them. Meanwhile, I've thought that I've had a pretty decent relationship with those girls, despite their behaviors and issues and the turmoil they create in my home every other weekend! Hell, it's been hard keeping my mouth shut all these years! I never discipline them, I let my husband handle them - never once have I punished them or yelled at them. Never once. Which has also been an issue in my marriage because my husband wants me to be more involved in that aspect. But, I haven't, and it's in hopes of avoiding situations like this.

I told my husband that I feel the girls not wanting to come is a win-win situation. I don't want them in my house, they're no longer welcome because of their lying and because of the uncomfortable environment they cause. I'd prefer all visits to happen outside of the home... He agreed that this is the way it has to be, for now. However, I want this to be a long term/permanent arrangement.

What happens if the girls don't want to visit with him if I'm present??? I feel like my husband should have my back. I did nothing wrong!

The ex is continuously in contact with my husbands family, his parents and 5 sisters and friends and cousins. She's back on FB and sent them all friend requests and is commenting on pictures night and day. She's digging for information - several people have told me that she keeps asking if I plan to have more children - she's even asked me herself! She's made comments to my husband that I won't stop having children until I have a daughter of my own, and that I should just be happy with girls. It's crazy! I'm not living my life for her! Who cares if I have 10 more kids? Does it really matter?

Why is she trying to stay connected to his family and friends? Doesn't she realize how desperate and stupid it makes her seem? Why are these people even accepting her friend request?! His family keeps in touch with her also, mailing her cards and pictures, etc.

Any possible advice or encouragement you can offer is appreciated!