Mediation
Question, can you just drag your ex into mediation because you don't like the custody agreement you signed a year ago?
Crazy bastard is now threatening me with mediation because he has a list of things he wants that he didn't agree t o in the decree a year ago.
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mediation is optional I
mediation is optional I think, right? If you don't agree to go then he can take you to court. At least that's what I understand in my state... it's been years since DH/BM had any custody modifications.
Mediation cannot be forced.
Mediation cannot be forced. Additionally in our country mediation is not even required before you can go back to court unless it's in the CO.
Depends on the state. In my
Depends on the state. In my state, you have to wait 2 years to change anything.
Sounds like he has a new gf?
Same in my state, you have to
Same in my state, you have to wait 2 years before making changes
BUT
In my state mediation is required before court, to try and settle differences without taking up court time
BM1 used to take DH to
BM1 used to take DH to mediation all of the time. I'm talking 4 to 6 times a year. I think the county they go through has it's own set of rules or something. They haven't been in a courtroom since their divorce. That county does things way differently from where we live though. BM would just write a letter directly to the judge and DH would get served with a date to be there.
I emailed my attorney. He
I emailed my attorney. He moved further away and offered to meet me part way to pick up BS on Sunday. He changed the plan multiple times on Friday and spent 2 hrs fighting with me on Sunday because I insisted we stick with what we agreed on. He was a dick so I ended up having to drive the full 45 minutes to his new place. Thank fully I was early because he called me because he got paged ( his internet isn't working) and had to go to his GF's place to use hers and needed me to pick BS up early.
I am fine sticking with the decree that I pick up but he is the one who always says he will bring himhome and then doesn't follow through. It is all about control. He hates that he can't tell me what to do. But he is relentless in his requests.
He does have a new GF, this is the 9th with in a year. This one he has been dating for 2 months and she has pretty much let him move in with her. He goes home when the kids are there. She bought a new bed and gave him hers and I think she is paying the 1000.00 for his dogs surgery this week. He acts like they are married. He has always loved to throw them in my face. I really could care less as long as she is nice to my child. ( He says she is very nice)
I think the GF buys the BS he tells her and she then encourages him that he is a good dad wronged by me and deserves more time. He cant stay awake or parent when BS is there. ( BS was texting me Sat afternoon because his dad was napping). His brothers cook and watch him when he is there. They say he puts on quite the show infront of GF.
The decree says that we agree to mediation but what he is arguing over is trying to force me to give him things that we didn't agree to. He gets what he is entitled and occasionally something he isn't. But he is such a prick that it is hard to give him more time because he is nasty to me and doesn'ty take care of BS when he has him and has given up almost all of his holidays because he is lazy.
Truthfully, it doesn't sound
Truthfully, it doesn't sound like he needs more time. A lot of (not all of course) NCPs who are selectively involved in their children's lives will go on and on about getting "more time", when in reality, they just want to appear to be an awesome parent and hand the responsibilities off to someone else. I'm sure his GF is all into the drama too and encouraging this time. She'll end up regretting that when she's left with the responsibilities and he gets all the "glory. Then, they'll break up and he'll miss visits unless his other kids are there. We all know this story all too well.
He sounds JUST LIKE SD8's BM.
He sounds JUST LIKE SD8's BM. She agrees to stuff in court & thinks the CO is a guideline. When they first got their most recent CO a few weeks after at a drop off she tried to have a 'talk' with DH about changing the terms. Specifically, for weekend visitation she wanted to meet earlier on Friday and before church on Sunday (it's usually meet at 6 Friday and at 5 Sunday). DH said no, as this would cut his already limited time even shorter & he couldn't meet earlier than 6 on Friday because of work.
BM said & I quote "I'm willing to give you 6 on Friday if you meet me at 9 AM Sunday". I was there (before I quit dealing with the wench) & just said "No, you are not 'giving him' 6 pm Friday, that is what it is. It's in the CO. What you are doing is asking for a FAVOR of changing the CO in a way that it reduces DH time with SD significantly, & he is saying no. That's it. If the CO didn't work for you, you shouldn't have agreed to it in court."
He is very controlling. Both
He is very controlling. Both BM 1 and I are trying to find out what time we can get the kids for mother's day. I asked to pick BS up at 10am ( this is what set this off) he emails her telling her I am pestering him and he will let her kids go home Saturday night ONLY if she is going to head up to her mothers. He emailed her twice today asking if she was going to her parents. I will only get BS saturday night IF the others go home because they are going to BM1's moms house. WTF.
Do you have any idea of what,
Do you have any idea of what, specifically, he wants changed?
He has harped on wanting Wed
He has harped on wanting Wed night visitation from day 1 and thought he could sweet talk me into it. He brings it up constantly. Thing is he works till 5pm, the drive is at least an hour and now we have road construction and BS goes to bed at 7:30, 8pm in the summer as we are up early. If I change that bedtime he is hell to get up. He even siad on Monday he has a hard time getting up even when going to bed at 6:30 after being at dad's because he lets him stay up till 10/11pm at night all weekend. He is 7 and knows he needs a bedtime.
I have no idea what welse he wants other than not to have my parents on the pick up list. They may live 2 hrs away but they will have picked him up from school this year as much as crazy bastard has.
This is what the attorney
This is what the attorney says
If he wants to change the decree, then the procedure is as follows:
1. Request that you go to mediation
2. If you go, then you can talk about the issues, but you would not be required to agree to make any changes
3. If you refuse to go to mediation (or no agreements are made at mediation), then he would be free to file a motion in court (although some judges will then order you to attend mediation before the hearing if you had not already attended mediation)
4. You would then file a response to his motion
5. There would be a hearing
6. The Judge would decide the issue
The decree requires that you attend mediation regarding any disagreements that relate to BS before filing anything in court. There is also a court rule that requires you to attempt mediation before filing any motion post-decree.