Would you or wouldn't you?
DH is taking our two BDs (ages 11 and 
to see SD22, who will be about an hour away from our town.
He text me the following heartfelt (sarcasm) invitation to join them:
You're welcome to come as well
Now, there is a LONG backstory with regard to SD22, but the short version is DH and I met when she was 5, married when she was 8 and it has been hell ever since. She tried to hurt me, lied about me during court, tried to hurt our two kids, drank, did drugs, slept around, did crappy in school, you name it. I haven't even spoken to SD since she was like 15.
I told DH that when SD was ready to admit what she'd done wrong and apologize for all her crap, I would be willing to hear it. That has NEVER happened. She's now in year 4 of 5 or more years of college funded partially by us, and she has NEVER once even acknowledged my contributions.
So, am I wrong to not want to take him up on this invitation?
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To be rude to me, she would
To be rude to me, she would have to acknowledge my existence, and that is part of my problem. I don't want my kids seeing SD22 be rude to me and think that is an OK way to treat me. DH would NEVER force her to be civil to me.
I'd have a hard time deciding
I'd have a hard time deciding between "go to make sure he's not buying her crap/giving her money" and not go so I didn't have to see her.
Unfortunately, my going would
Unfortunately, my going would probably not stop him from buying her crap or giving her money. He just wires it directly into her checking account! Or orders items and has them shipped directly to her!
He's ALWAYS kissing her ass.
He's ALWAYS kissing her ass. The last time I consented to be around the two of them together, SD never once spoke to me and DH spent the entire time rubbing her back. She was about 17/18 at the time? :jawdrop:
(No subject)
:sick:
(No subject)
:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
I am estranged from my SD 18,
I am estranged from my SD 18, and except for a family dinner here and there with the entire extended family, I have not seen nor spoken to her in almost 2 years. In my opinion, if you don't want to speak to her, then don't go. Nothing interesting will happen, she might put on a show for him and for your other daughters, but your presence won't make any difference. So for your own sake, if you can't stand the thought of seeing her, just don't go. I just told my husband that seeing her is too painful, and so I'd rather he go and have a nice time with her and leave me out of it. This keeps him feeling good, because I'm not trying to stop him from going - while allowing me to maintain the physical and emotional distance from her for my own protection.
I'm a nosy ass and because of
I'm a nosy ass and because of that I'd probably go. However, you'd probably enjoy yourself MORE if you stay home and do something for yourself while you are ALONE. Let him deal with her stupid ass. How much harm can come to your DD's while in their dad's care?
I would not go. I am
I would not go. I am estranged from SD18. DH can see her if he wants and that is what he did for a few years up until last fall and her cutting him off.
If she comes back, I will not see her and she is not welcome in my home. DH can see her, but until she apologizes for her behavior to him and I and her brothers, she is not coming back in to wreak more havoc.
I would have a huge problem if my husband was giving her a dime. He is a guilty dad if at this age he is still trying to buy her affection by buying her gifts.
No good will come from your
No good will come from your kids seeing you treated badly by your SD. I would not go either.
Me, too.
Me, too.
I agree. DH sees her alone.
I agree. DH sees her alone. SS16 doesn't have anything to do with his sister. He has not seen her since Xmas 2013 and her horrible behavior. I have told DH and SS that I do not want him to see his mom if his sister is there. His answer is, no problem, already told my mom that.
BM wouldn't dare or I would make sure to stop encouraging SS to see her.
I do not think your kids should see her, as long as she is toxic, you do not want that around your kids.
So, am I wrong to not want to
So, am I wrong to not want to take him up on this invitation?
I don't see it as being right or wrong. You don't feel his invitation is sincere and you don't really want to go; don't go.
It might be different if he was asking because he sincerely wants you to be there, but it doesn't seem that's the case.
I would probably go just to
I would probably go just to piss her off!!