So...when I first found this place...I thought...ok this is going to be really stupid...I thought that I had to be an actual stepparent to sign up...so I lied about being married and how long DH and I have been together. I know I know I'm sorry and I hate lying but I remember reading someone's post about their boyfriend's kid and a LOT of people were saying well you're not really a stepparent...so...I want to come clean now...I don't know if you guys even care but this site has helped a lot...I'm really sorry I lied.
Truth actually is that DH and I have been together for 2 1/2 years now and barely got married in September...we have been living together though since June. He proposed to me in May. I am now 7 weeks pregnant (yikes, I know) and I'm starting to realize how right you all are about doing my own thing with BS4(STB5). I am just starting to realize that I made a HUGE mistake in trying to be the "mom" for SD7 that she already had with MIL...
Everything else having to do with MIL is true.
She despised DH and me SO much that she kept telling SD that she wasn't coming to the wedding because she didn't believe in our being together. (Of course she went...unfortunately)
I still can't stand MIL even when she tries to include me in things. I am notorious for holding grudges and I can't help but hate her while she says what a great kid BS is and how much she loves him and how cute he is and bla bla bla because all I hear is what SD let slip once while I was there to pick up SD. MIL was mentioning how she noticed BS liked to play with SD's kitchen set and SD started reminding her "yeah but tell her what you told so and so that he makes a mess and he's a handful and-" at this point MIL told her to be quiet and to stop making things up to which SD started saying (but didn't finish) that she wasn't making things up.
Plus all the crap that she's put DH through...seriously I thought only BM's were crazy psycho, but MIL proved me wrong. I don't trust her and honestly I'm not sure I ever will. I'm polite to her but that's about it.
MIL has made it difficult for everyone and anyone to get along. I'm sure I'm the bad guy because im the one who encouraged DH to stand up for his right as SD's dad and not take her bull anymore...my mistake...because now I don't know what to do with SD...anywho, ever since I quit my job (I planned this with DH like an idiot) I have been taking care of both SD and my BS full time. So I guess you can say we took SD away from her "mom"...(her real mom doesn't give a shit about her; even though she's psycho, I'm starting to see why BM just gave SD to MIL...and why it was so easy to take SD away from DH as well...yes, she's that pushy and controlling).
So...now I'm stuck with a kid I have to take care of and can't stand. She's not a bad kid, and has changed a lot over time...but...to me, she's still too much like MIL for my comfort. She annoys me. I hate hearing her voice. I hate seeing her in pictures that MIL puts on FB...
Now, I know that everyone's already going to be pissed off with me so...I might as well tell you...I think I can't stand SD because I resent her for everything she's done and said to DH...no, I know it wasn't her fault but...idunno!!!! I can't help but feel like she's such a little traitor...and I can't keep resenting her for stuff that wasn't her fault and I know that I can't keep blaming DH for not standing up to his crazy wacko mother...but I still feel like this would have been a HELLUVA lot easier had he been more of her parent than MIL...I'm sure she would have been more like him (calm, quiet, thoughtful, caring, quiet, not trying to be the center of attention...) deep down she probably is like him but she's been brainwashed to be exactly like MIL...so frustrating...
As it turns out, my BS is nothing like me either so...that's great too...

Anyway....I'm really sorry for lying everyone...I swear I'm not a fake person making things up (well not anymore anyway) I am a stepmom, and a BM, I'm young and don't know what the heck I am doing...other than being nauseous and bloated all day and all night long apparently...
I was worried that MIL was going to try to take my baby away from me as she did with SD (MIL did this slowly by simply offering to do things for DH and BM like watch her, feed her, bathe her, change her, play with her, keep her for a few days, etc.) but I'm pretty sure im not going to let that happen...really hope not anyway.

I've disengaged a lot with SD and I'm sure everyone has noticed it...and I'm sure DH is not happy about it. I'm sure my parents won't be happy about it. They thought I would be the bigger stronger person and love everyone and just take everything that comes to me...guess not..