Having a talk with DH's son -- how it all went down
Here's the back story http://www.steptalk.org/node/211683
Well, it was really simple. DH didn't say a whole lot and I said even less.
The main point was this: DH and Mercury are the adults in this house. We have our own rules and expectations. Your mother has hers. It really sucks for you that sometimes it seems like a big culture clash going from one home to the other but that is actually what the real world is about more often than not. You are just learning about it earlier than you would have if your parents had the same world view. We deal with it everyday in our jobs. Not only do we have to comply with our company culture and our bosses' standards, but we also have to meet all of our different clients at an individual level too. It's a tricky thing to navigate but you are doing a great job so far.
Now, we want you to continue having fun with your friends at place "XYZ". Your mother has already told you how she feels about that. Whatever decision you make, you will be the one living with the consequences of your choice. Just know that in this house these are our expectations (then DH listed a few).
So SS went, had fun, made some more new friends. What happened when he got back to BM's house? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She had previously threatened him with punishment just to control his behavior, or rather ultimately to attempt to control DH's behavior and then didn't even follow through with it. I'm very glad she didn't follow through. She must have talked to one of her sane divorced friends (she actually has some of those apparently because she ALWAYS backs down after her most horrendous outbursts with DH). But what did she teach SS? That her expectations are utterly meaningless? That the things she thinks and says are completely inconsequential? I'm not sure exactly what SS took away from all of this but from where I'm sitting, BM looks like a fool.
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Comments
The skid bought the original
The skid bought the original item with some of his X-mas money from his grandparents and me and then DH paid the difference because he was short a little bit. So basically it was the skid's money and dad chipped in.
Furthermore, the skid made another trade this weekend, lol. He ended up going to a shop and getting a brand new item. Again, DH chipped in a little but it really seemed like the skid knew what he was doing. His goal was to get "new item" from the store and his series of trades got him there.
Oh, and btw, the skid told DH while they were at the shop that BM doesn't know squat about this particular sport and the equipment involved. lmao.
My kid had to have straight
My kid had to have straight a's and if he did, I bought him a video game. Worked well, he always had straight A's. SS for awhile got paid for grades by his mom and he was not doing well. She paid for B's and more for A's. Ironically when she had custody, his grades were A,B,C's and D's. Now with us, DH doesn't do anything and he has all A's and B's.
Exactly DH's point to begin
Exactly DH's point to begin with!!!
The skid was doing his own thing. So what? Nobody was hurt by it, and even if the BM thinks the skid got ripped off, how in the heck does that affect her? It doesn't. Oh wait. Coddling mothers.
The bigger point here is not
The bigger point here is not the trade, it's that BM threatened to punish SS for things he did on DH's time with DH's blessing.
The twat needs to keep the boy out of it and send her complaints to DH (so he can ignore them along with all her other ridiculous communications).