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the great room sharing debate and how DH "solved" it

blending2012's picture

Okay background: we have 5 kids between us. he has 3 (2 girls and 1 boy) and I have 2 boys. I have primary custody of mine (they visit their dad EOW) and he has 50/50 custody. When we got married 3 years ago, we bought a house and tried to get the most number of bedrooms we could find - which wound up being 5. This meant that 2 kids would have to share. To be fair, we said that we would rotate the sharing every year.

Year one: my son and his son shared. Year two: my TWO sons shared - and all 3 of his kids got their own rooms even though they are with us fewer nights.

Year three - guess who's turn it is to share??? Yup, his 2 daughters. One of the girls is a really nice person. The oldest daughter (now 13 but I have known her since she was Dirol is probably the meanest, most morally bankrupt person I have ever met. Miss Meany threw a little temper tantrum about sharing and, over the course of the next few months, proceeded to never let her little sister in the room except to sleep.

Husband's solution? BUILD ANOTHER BEDROOM.

So now we have six bedrooms.

Biggest joke? He will NOT admit that this was done for his daughter's benefit. Nope. He did it because it was "an ongoing problem". Gee, that's funny - when it was a problem for the boys for 3 years we didn't have a room built.

Love to hear your thoughts.

Comments

kathc's picture

Children who live there full time should, if possible, have their own room. Children who come for visitation should share. I can see not having a boy and girl share. But if it's two girls and they're not full time? There's your shared room. Suck it up buttercup.

Sports Fan's picture

THIS! Percentage of time matters.

What about the cost of this new room? How is that being split? Do you share finances?

blending2012's picture

No, thankfully we DO NOT share finances and I told him that if this was his solution HE could pay for it - which he did.

In the meantime, I just can't get over the resentment I feel over this. She basically was rewarded for being a bitch.

Oh, and we busted our asses moving their stuff into their new rooms over the weekend. Youngest SD? "Thank you Blending! I love my new room!". Morally bankrupt SD? Did not acknowledge my existence as usual.

And how hard would it have been for her dad to say, "Satan, you should at least say hello to Blending after all the hard work she did for you this weekend - and a thank you wouldn't be too hard either". But NOPE. He NEVER has my back. It's always "what's the big deal, Blending?".

There is a guy at work I tell these stories to, and today he said he would have defended my honor. Made me weak in the knees. I can totally see how affairs happen - not that I would ever do it - but it's nice to have someone VALIDATE you for friggin' ONCE!

misSTEP's picture

All I can say is I hope you make up the cost with extra equity when you move to another place.

Maxwell09's picture

I think that the OPs two sons should have stayed together. Is it fair? No, but at the end of the day, those two brothers could have their stuff locked safely in their room EOW. The two girls aren't full siblings so to me that seems like a huge disaster just waiting to happen like who took who's shirt or make up or whatever. Ugh yeah boys are a lot less problematic in that sense most of the time. And boys and girls sharing a room is just a no go in general.

But I guess the problem has been solved so it doesn't really matter.

frustratedinNE's picture

Makes me sick. These spoiled skids should share rooms in the non custodial house. Three rooms sitting unused all week long RIDICULOUS

TJH100911's picture

How old are the kids? You could have also made all three boys share, both girls share and used the spare for a guest room or office. Or the oldest kid gets the room and the other two share. Oldest kid has to be out at 18 though and next oldest moves up