I'm sure this topic has been brought up before, but HELP, Video Games
SO and I have always had the rule that the kids had to earn video game time. That meant 20 minutes reading or doing 4-5 workbook pages to earn 1hr of time.
While it showed them that they had to work for what they wanted, it was getting out of control. Every time one of them would walk out of the back bedrooms, the wanted to ask about earning video game time, how long the other had left, if they could get on SO's Ipad or tablet (even though they both had computers, WII, Xbox and DS's in their rooms).
Two weekends ago, on Saturday, SS was to do workbook pages to earn time. Not 30 seconds after he sat down he asked for help. Now, I don't mind helping but try to do it yourself first. Then he started whining. I took the book and he lost his time for the rest of the day. On Sunday, workbook pages again. Before he even started I told him no whining and try to do it yourself before you ask for help. Same story, he immediately ask for help and SO was actually in the room this time and immediately sat down to help him. The page only had 5 questions on it. The first question was Tiger is to roar as dog is to ______. He couldn't do it. Could not do any of the five questions. SO held his hand through the work and SS is whining the entire time.
In the meantime, I'm getting pissed. No way he should need help on something so simple. He just wants SO to do the work for him. The last question was about something soft. SO says, What's soft in your room? I swear, 15 minutes later, SS could still not answer the question and had tears running down his face. I told SO, I can't believe this is my life.
So later that night, I told SO, I have had enough of the video game crap. I can't take it anymore. They are both doing well in school. Why don't we just let them have two hrs a day and they don't have to earn it. Of course, they still have to do their chores and lose game time if they are bad in school or misbehaving. SO agrees.
We tell Skids last weekend about the change. SD listens to what we say and does what she was needed to. SS STILLLLLL asked every day about video game time. Four times in 20 minutes on Sunday morning. Come on kid, how much easier can I make it for you. Play 2hrs and that's it. Leave me out of it.
How do others deal with this crap. I swear if I have to hear about video games again, I may go insane. Sometimes I wonder if just letting them play for 15hrs straight won't be better. I would never have to hear the whining and asking about game time.
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Here is what we do. You have
Here is what we do. You have to have all A's and B's or you lose your electronics. My SS16 is in gaming extensively. We stopped fighting it. He goes to computer gaming camp every summer for three weeks at a local university. Expensive, but worth it. He has learned how to hack the games and change the programming. He will be going to college for a computer science degree with a focus on gaming.
If you can't beat it, figure out a way for him to make money at it. Our rule is the grades have to be there. If he does something wrong or fails a test, loses it all. DH takes it away until the grade is resolved. We trust him. We also enforce family time. Every night we have dinner together and then watch a 1 hour of television together. He also goes to Karate two nights a week for an hour.
All of this has worked wonders. We got full custody 3 years ago and his grades were bad. Now he is 3.2 GPA.
From what I read, I think your rules are too structured. There is a book, I recommend called Teen Proofing. Simplistic way of raising teens and having expectations for them. This was the same rules for my BS19. He is majoring in Biomed Engineering and maintaining a 3.3 GPA at a top school. My rules were simple and easy to understand. School is your job, gaming and social life is secondary. You can have it all, if your grades are good and you are focused on school.
hell, yss still asks if he
hell, yss still asks if he can take a shower. (yes thankfully all three boys have no hygiene issues!!!)
our problem w/ the video games is them bringing the consoles into the living room. dude, u've got a damn tv in your bedroom, the household is not going to revolve around you playing grand theft auto.
if i were you, i'd tell him one final time, ask to make sure he understands clearly then state that you will no longer acknowlege him on that topic; and any time in the future he asks, IGNORE. IGNORE. IGNORE.
sorry, doll, i know the constant repetition is just maddening!
ahhh the damn video
ahhh the damn video games!!!!! You can set daily limits on the game. Once they reach the maximum time allowed, the game shuts off; but not without warning so you don't RUIN their life; giving them ample time to end their mission, complete their course, or whatever. Otherwise, the older they get, the worse it will become. You mentioned they get good grades, that's a good thing! How about their socialization skills with real people, human to human contact? Get them involved in some other activity
That's a problem too. They
That's a problem too. They both have zero friends. We have never once had a birthday party with their friends and the only parties they have ever been invited to are the ones where the entire class is invited.
We can't get them in an activity because we work late during the week and BM refusing to help get them to practices, etc.
We did have SD and SS in Tae Kwon Do, SS would throw tantrums and SD lost interest (but she did do it for 4 years).
Boy scouts and girl scouts is during the week. SD wanted to do chore but needed to be picked up by 330 and we don't get off work until 5 and it's an hr to her school. BM told her it was our fault she couldn't do it.
I do feel bad for them because they really don't have any childhood memories that involve friends. SO always talks about taking them to the park or beach to met people and that's fine, but they are around kids ALL day at school. They aren't making friends because of their own choices.
SS10 constantly asks about
SS10 constantly asks about getting on his video games when we are out doing something or always asking if he can get on them on the Fridays we pick them up (Those Fridays are no electronic period). He also obsesses over a certain game he doesn’t have (Empire Earth) and is always asking to get it or making stupid comments like “Sigh, I wish I was playing Empire Earth right now.” He has TONS of other games to play and they don’t have to earn game time. We get them EOW and as long as they are not grounded from video games they can play them.
However, I started taking away game time every time he whine about not being on a game, every time is obsesses over Empire Earth, or when he asks to get on a video game when he knows it’s family time or we are doing something. I think he’s slowly starting to figure out not to mention video games around me lol