Intact families are not that great either

Background: My mother has worked nights since I was a teenager. It's been about 23 years. She is the type that wakes up right before she has to leave for work and then stays up until all hours of the night. She's an adult whatever. The problem is that I have a very limited time that I can call her because I never know when she's awake during the day and she can't have her phone at work. Even when I was a teen, I would leave notes on the table for her to answer because I never saw her.

So last Thursday was SO's father's B Day and we took him to dinner. It was pretty horrible and I went home and zoned out with my dogs. When I got to work the next day, I noticed I had missed a call from my mom. I didn't think anything of it, she didn't follow up with a text or leave a message.

Friday night, I heard my phone ringing but we were seating at the table eating dinner. I figured it was my mom and called her back when we were finished.

Conversation
Mom: I'm at the hospital right now. I had a reaction to some new medication and was admitted last night. I'm fine now and I'm just waiting on papers from the Dr. to say I can go back to work
ME: I'm glad to hear your OK
Mom: (cutting me off) why didn't you answer you phone last night
Me: I explain going to dinner and not hearing the phone
Mom: Well, I just tried to call you a couple of minutes ago
Me: Yeah I know, we here eating dinner
Mom: Well you should answer your phone you don't know when it's an emergency
Me: I'm sorry but I'm not jumping up to answer the phone during family dinners.
Mom: You should have a special ring tone for me so you know to answer the phone. Just in case for emergencies.
Me: You just said yourself that you are fine. (she lives in Oh, I live in FL) If it's an emergency, there is nothing I can do for you this far away.
Mom: (more stuff about me not answering the phone)
I hung up

Then this morning, she sends me a text that my father is going into surgery and she will keep me updated. No one ever told me he was going into surgery. And for what?

This is the same woman that text me Christmas morning telling me not to call because her and dad have a sore throat. The call last Thursday was the first I had heard from her. She doesn't want to hear from me unless it's about her. I have tried many times to establish some kind of real relationship with her but she doesn’t want to. The last straw for me was several months ago, I was trying to get her advice on something and asked her a couple of questions but she just kept saying yeah, ok. She must have been watching TV and just making sounds so I would think she was paying attention.

Part of me just wants to tell her not to bother, she has my two brothers and father. (None of whom speak to me unless I contact them) I feel done with them all.