Has SS moved out?
SS25 has lived with us about 9 weeks. He moved in because he broke up with his girlfriend. I didn't even get asked if he could move in. But anyway, he has not slept here in a week. He came here Christmas eve to get some clothes and then yesterday to get his x-box. His room is full of his stuff and I think if he is not sleeping here, he can get his stuff and take it to where ever he is staying.
I suspect he is staying at his ex-girlfriends house but when asked he says he is not. I don't know why he would lie. SS has taken ex-girlfriend to Christmas lunch, bought him an expensive Christmas gift, is lending him money and they gave us Christmas presents signed by both of them, but they are not together? I also really like the ex-girlfriend so it's not like I disapprove.
My husband has said he can stay here for 3 months so I guess we will give him a few more weeks until I pack his stuff up.
By the way this is what happened last time
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Comments
At least your DH has a time
At least your DH has a time frame in mind. I am a firm believer that you don't get out of a relationship until you have a good exit plan. Not so with this generation of entitled skids. Everyone is falling back on their parents to lend a hand because they CAN. I would suggest to DH that he and SS25 look for an apartment for him, or for a place to share with roommates. He may not want to live with strangers, but if you can't afford your own place then that's the price you pay. I'm sure a lot of STers have shared a house or rented a room at one time or another. I'm assuming he has a FT job or......?
Sounds like SS25 is old enough that maybe DH is getting tired of it, so at least you have that on your side.
~ Moon
Your DH needs to stop letting
Your DH needs to stop letting SS move back in just because he breaks up with his girlfriend. He will be forty years old, moving back in with Daddy in between women. BM did the exact same thing with her mother.
Time to grow up. If he thinks he's grown up enough to have a live-in relationship, he needs to be grown up enough to live on his own when that relationship fails.
Your DH is enabling him.
Three months or not, he's not slept there in a week and has picked up clothes and his Xbox. I would consider him vacated and would tell him to pick up the rest of his things.
Not only is your DH enabling him physically but emotionally, as well. Having a place to run back to keeps him from working through his relationship problems. This is no different than allowing step kids to run back and forth between the parents when things don't go right at one place or the other.
That's what I think, you need
That's what I think, you need a exit plan. SS just rang DH and said come and get me, we just broke up. Apparently he was caught cheating on his girlfriend and she told him to leave. I think he should have stayed there and put up with her yelling after what he did to her. Instead he comes here and continues to see this other girl, which I totally do not approve of. Especially since his father did the same thing to me a few years ago
Also him finding a rental to live in is "a waste of money" according to him. He is wanting to buy a house. However, he just started his first full time job the week he moved in with us. So he has been working there 9 weeks. He is not going to be able to save enough money to get a deposit together for a loan for a house in the next few weeks. He pays us nothing to live here. But anyway, I think he is back living at his girlfriends house.
The biggest mistake DH did was give him a key to our house as I'm sure he comes here when we are out.
My husband will not listen to anything I say about SS and he loves that SS lives here. It's definately causing trouble in our marriage.