Phrases Spoken by Alienated Children
For those of you who have dealt with PAS, what phrases have you heard the kids use? These are the common ones we heard from Faux and "SS"15, word for word:
"I'm concerned for my health and safety."
"I'm concerned for my emotional well-being."
"What you're doing is mentally abusive."
"The mother is the real parent."
"I don't need a stepmother at this crucial stage of my development."
"Too many chores will interfere with my social development."
"No one should be an emotional punching bag."
"Domestic abuse extends to children too."
"CPS says to report all maltreatment."
Seriously? Parrot BM much?
Yes, these sentences were spoken by a 7-9 year old and a young teen whose vocabulary does not consist of most of these words.
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Right? These are children who
Right? These are children who normally communicate with grunts and pointing. Neither one of them has ever had a thought independent of BM. You know they didn't pull this stuff out of their asses.
aw, but you know it wasn't
aw, but you know it wasn't abuse when methmom did it because she was just kidding...
:sick:
"Parental bullying" This
"Parental bullying"
This blows my mind. Apparently disciplining a child who deserves it is "parental bullying"? Where do people come up with this crap.
GBM documented my SD6 as saying that I'm a bully. It was unbelievable.
My SD6 has said a lot of
My SD6 has said a lot of things that obviously come from BM and GBM.....things that a normal 6-year-old would not even know to say. I can't think of any examples right now, but it's always to do with health, safety and food.
It's amazing how their faces
It's amazing how their faces will just change to no expression when the words come out. We would be out playing somewhere.. having a great time. The skids would be laughing and playing and then all of a sudden they would stop dead in their tracks and go expressionless and say 'this is a waste of time.'
Oh, I know none of that came
Oh, I know none of that came from them. Faux was 7 years old the first time he said he "feared for his emotional well-being." SS15 has the vocabulary of a character in a Dr. Seuss book. And they were both definitely confronted whenever any of these things were said. Their response: a look so blank I can't even describe it and *crickets*. Nothing.
I think bm has slowed the pas
I think bm has slowed the pas train now that she has a fiancé that they adore but ss has told me in the past "only my mom can have fun with me and tease me". "You're just a stepmom. You don't matter". "When mommy has another baby it will be my real brother or sister. Insert bs name (mine with dh) is not my real brother."
1. Dad is an uninvolved
1. Dad is an uninvolved father.
2. I don't have to listen to you, you're not my mother.
3. My mother said you're trying to replace her.
4. I can't hug or kiss you.
5. How much did that cost? That's supposed to be for our college.
6. HE5 gets whatever she wants and we don't.
7. HE5's kids are treated better than us.
8. There are too many rules at Dad's house.
9. Mom's house is our house.
10. HE5 yells and screams at us.
That's just the beginning of the list. It could go on and on...
"I don't know if we should be
"I don't know if we should be camping. What if someone came in the middle of the night to grab us?" - while we were out in the middle of absolutely NOWHERE at a primitive campgrounds. Of course, BM took them camping and it was GREAT.
I don't know if this counts because she DID say 'Mom says' first:
"If you think I need glasses then YOU should take me into the eye doctor!"
inmates rights at alcatraz -
inmates rights at alcatraz -
5. PRIVILEGES. You are entitled to food, clothing, shelter and medical attention. Anything else that you get is a privilege. You earn your privileges by conducting yourself properly. "Good Standing" is a term applied to inmates who have a good conduct record and a good work record and who are not undergoing disciplinary restrictions.
}:)
"I'm not COMFORTABLE with
"I'm not COMFORTABLE with dad/SM"
"Dad lied to mommy and that's why they are divorced"
"Good people don't get divorced."
"You wear naughty underwear" (directed at me)
"You have an anger problem" (directed to Chef; yes he does but he never directed it at the skids; he incessantly kissed their ass despite repeated disrespect)
"YOU don't pay for ANYTHING; MOM pays for EVERYTHING!"
And isn't it funny that when biodad DOESN'T defend SM, but, instead, decides to join in with the PAS directed at SM ("my kids are afraid of you") he is SUDDENLY SHOCKED when the PAS starts to turn against HIM! Usually TOO LATE into the game when he realizes how destructive the disrespect is and tries to take baby steps against it. And VOILA!! Suddenly HE becomes no longer "part of the TEAM."
Oh! Yes. That's another
Oh! Yes. That's another favorite:
"I feel UNCOMFORTABLE at Dad's house."
Boy, you make ME uncomfortable in MY house!
"Dad has anger management
"Dad has anger management issues" I've heard that one. Still waiting to see this "anger management issue" DH supposedly has. Haven't seen it yet.
Yep. DH has anger management
Yep. DH has anger management issues too. In four years, I've never once heard him so much as yell. But than again, to the skids, speaking in a firm tone is "screaming." Taking away video games for failing grades is "abuse." Offering a PB and J when they refuse my meals because I'm trying to poison them (for crying out loud) is "starving" them. Making them clean their rooms is "child slavery." Bitch please.
So many of these truly are
So many of these truly are disturbing. BMs out there turning their kids into twisted little zombies.
Some of them, however, are familiar to me. Sadly. "I'm not comfortable there," seems to be ubiquitous. I've certainly heard it and when I told DH how common it is on ST, he was relieved and recognized it for the piece of melodrama that it is.
A moment I will share with y'all because DH was standing up for me took place when SD15 was screaming at him about having married me. She said "it was more fun" before ChiefGrownup came along. Cue the applause sign because DH stormed back at her, "Maybe it was more fun for you but it wasn't more fun for me!"
This was an especially great comeback because she had been on a kick where she was telling people that he wasn't happy any more. Also because she had demanded some explanation for him marrying me and he answered with a bunch of wonderful, lovely things about me, ending with "Who WOULDN'T love ChiefGrownup??!!!"
Not to give the wrong impression, though. She has said many other crapalicious things that have gone unanswered. We're working on it. She's done the "Mom does everything for me" -- hee, hee, DH has certainly called her out on that, it was funny! But she has never really spouted any of those dreadful, mechanical lines out of a PAS How To Manual as so many of you posted above.
Sometimes I come here and find out how much worse things could be. Yumpin' yimminy, those are some chilling statements that some of you suffer through.
SD, age 8: On Father's Day,
SD, age 8:
On Father's Day, "I don't really need a dad".
"When I turn 12 I can go tell the judge I don't want to come here anymore."
"When I was 6 my mom told me all about my parents divorce. My mom ALWAYS tells me the truth."
"At my first birthday party my dad was busy grilling. He wasn't paying attention to me. I know because my mom has videos. She showed me."
"When I was 2, I got bit by a pony. It was dads fault, he wasn't paying attention to me. It hurt so bad."
"All the toys at my moms are better."
"I don't want to wear any of the clothes my dad buys me."
"My mom says my parents didn't really love each other when they got married."
"My mom says my dad spends all his money in court."
"My mom says my dad lies."
"My mom says my dad went to a bachelor party and saw strippers! What kind of married man does that?!?" Me: "what is a stripper, SD?" SD takes off her shirt, twirls it over her head and smiles, shaking her butt. I look at her horrified and asked her how she knew that. SD: "my mom told me! My mom tells me EVERYTHING!"
"My mom read me emails. My dad called my mom a bitch! He's so mean. I hate him."
I have pages and pages of this crap. God I hate my hex.
Oh, dear, this is really
Oh, dear, this is really dreadful stuff. There is probably no saving that kid.
SD, age 8: On Father's Day,
SD, age 8:
On Father's Day, "I don't really need a dad".
"When I turn 12 I can go tell the judge I don't want to come here anymore."
"When I was 6 my mom told me all about my parents divorce. My mom ALWAYS tells me the truth."
"At my first birthday party my dad was busy grilling. He wasn't paying attention to me. I know because my mom has videos. She showed me."
"When I was 2, I got bit by a pony. It was dads fault, he wasn't paying attention to me. It hurt so bad."
"All the toys at my moms are better."
"I don't want to wear any of the clothes my dad buys me."
"My mom says my parents didn't really love each other when they got married."
"My mom says my dad spends all his money in court."
"My mom says my dad lies."
"My mom says my dad went to a bachelor party and saw strippers! What kind of married man does that?!?" Me: "what is a stripper, SD?" SD takes off her shirt, twirls it over her head and smiles, shaking her butt. I look at her horrified and asked her how she knew that. SD: "my mom told me! My mom tells me EVERYTHING!"
"My mom read me emails. My dad called my mom a bitch! He's so mean. I hate him."
I have pages and pages of this crap. God I hate my hex.