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If BM was to write a book- what would it be called?

zerostepdrama's picture

BM here would have a "How To" line of books:

How to Get Everything YOU Need and Want For Your Kids, Without Doing Any Work.

How to Manipulate the System in These Easy Steps

How to Raise Your Daughter to Expect Everything for Free

Anyone else????

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ChiefGrownup's picture

Poor Me: A Memoir of How Life Failed to Make Me Successful, Happy, or Loved in Spite of All My Lack of Effort

just_tired's picture

Don't Like My Way ~ Take Me To Court - would be her first book, that was her favorite line

Oh Shit You Took Me To Court - her second book

How to Live With No Job, No CS and No More SSI ~ Because My Ex Has the Kids Now - her current book

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Rising, i love your sense of humor! This would be even funnier if it wasn't so true!

Lack of any discernible morals is a prerequisite in this line of highway robbery.

Toastergirl's picture

^THIS

AllySkoo's picture

"How To Never - EVER - Be Single"

Of course, it would be a very short book. "Never divorce your current husband until your current boyfriend proposes."

She's currently with Husband4, and I hear she's "serious" about one of her 2 boyfriends, so Husband5 might be coming soon!

momandmore's picture

Ask SM for some of her clothes without shame

Ask SM for baby clothes without shame

Applying make up the wrong way

How to use the kids you have never had custody of to get food stamps

Get free things from churches for kids and needy families even though you're flying solo

How to get escorted from your home in a straight jacket

momandmore's picture

How SM ruined my life by not allowing me to get my kids on SSDI that they don't need in the first place

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Haha! bingo! I think our BM can write a sequel:

Down with Copernicus! My Universe is Revolving Around Me!

Pilgrim Soul's picture

It Does Not Matter That I am a Lesbian: I Would Not Be One If He Was a Better Husband!
( i assure you i wrote this one down verbatim)

I Am All About The Children or Show Me the Money.

Father? What Father? ( actually, this is the title of a paper on PAS)

or How To Convince Your Children to Dump Their Father All the While Assuring Him That He Deserves It.

tiny kitten's picture

"Abandonment Doesn't Pay: Why I came back into my daughter's life after abandoning her at age two."
Excerpt:
It was bad enough that my relationship with the druggie I'd moved in with hadn't worked out. Now I was stuck back in Perth, dealing with my ex. We were trying to work out some bullshit parenting agreement, and he wasn't being fair to me... I mean, our daughter.
"Look, she hardly remembers you. I'm not going to let you take her interstate for three weeks. She's three, it's not fair on her. It's not even on the table. I'm willing to let you see her during the day three days a week, and we'll revisit once you get to know each other again."
How could I tell him that wasn't enough? Screw it, I'll just come out and say it. "That isn't enough time. The government won't pay me for that."
"So you want to try and go for primary custody?"
"Don't be stupid, I don't want her THAT much. Just enough to get benefits."
My stupid, dumb, worthless ex stared at me like I was crazy. Can you believe that? I wanted to punch his stupid face.
"Is that all you care about?" he asked. Well, I couldn't answer THAT one truthfully. So I did what anyone would do. I changed the subject.
"You've put on a lot of weight. You're getting so fat."

Toastergirl's picture

Rich dad, poor dad: how to use your ex husband as an ATM

PAS- the quintessential guide

Men are evil