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I might regret asking this

not the mamma's picture

Submitted by not the mamma on Wed, 11/12/2014 - 8:45am

But I'm going to anyway.

My fiancé and I were considering TTC for OUR first. He has a 5yr old daughter from a previous relationship that I get along amazing with. HOWEVER, I am really nervous that he will be comparing my pregnancy to his ex the whole time, and for some reason just thinking about that really upsets me. I get it, he's been through it before, but I haven't.. and I know this is what you get dating a man with a pre-started family. I just really hope that he's there for me and see's it as a new adventure, not "I've done this before".

How did your DHs treat you when you were pregnant with your first?

Comments

StepKat's picture

Submitted by StepKat on Wed, 11/12/2014 - 8:49am

If DH compair any pregnacy I had to BM I wouldn't let it bother me. Actually, I would use his first hand knoweldge of pregnacy to my advantage lol.

Teas83's picture

Submitted by Teas83 on Wed, 11/12/2014 - 9:03am

When I got pregnant, I told my husband I didn't want to hear a word about BM's pregnancy and he actually complied. He didn't say a thing about her pregnancy or SD's birth the whole time I was pregnant.

However, for some reason when we were dating he mentioned something about SD's birth. So when I was pregnant I remembered it. He had told me that he had hoped SD would be a boy, so he was basically waiting "down there" when SD was being born so he could see if she was a boy or not. I can't help but picture it......and it grosses me out when I do.

ETA: I also told him I don't want to hear any comparisons of SD as a baby to DD, and he's been good about that too.

MommyNotMommy's picture

Submitted by MommyNotMommy on Thu, 11/13/2014 - 9:42am

Ha, my FDH did exactly the same to BS and yes we all cried and yes it was horrible.

For a while he was even scared to help me cut BS's nails by holding him or distracting him.

not the mamma's picture

Submitted by not the mamma on Wed, 11/12/2014 - 9:23am

I never thought of it that way.. lol. SD may be his but I've been around since she was barely 2 and Ive been the one doing EVERYTHING in the house. And I know I'm def a better mother than crazy BM. I did tell him recently that if I were to get pregnant I absolutely do not want to hear one word, he of course said he wouldn't but theres always that fear in the back of my mind!

Stepintime0111's picture

Submitted by Stepintime0111 on Wed, 11/12/2014 - 11:48am

My dh was great the first time and with my current pregnancy. He never compared it and has always been excited for milestones.