Yet another meal ruined

By princess SD17!
Seriously getting fed up with her attitude. She is unbelievably lazy. She was asked to go through one box from the garage that was marked with her name. We have been in our house for 2months and this is the first box apart from the essentials we asked her to sort.
Mega hissy fit 5 mins before dishing up dinner. Spoke to her father like a piss of s**t.
Refused to have dinner. Atmosphere at the table awful because other half in a foul mood. Took it out on his other child. No one ate their dinner except myself and my daughter.
Now he has gone to 'chat' with her so thats my evening on my own.
Seriously considering leaving as this is a week occurance at the moment and his parenting is very different to mine.
I dont need this stress nor waste my time cooking for a family that cba to eat it.
And all because she hasnt got daddies undivided attention and she not getting her own way anymore. I dont need this.

Raggles's blog
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I kind of love that "after 18

I kind of love that "after 18 she can earn the right to stay in your home." What a great concept. Gonna use it myself.

Don't know how long you've been married, Raggles. I have certainly had the stormy teen stepdaughter making dinner time hell. It is an ordeal. If you are newly married and you love your dh a lot and he you, speak up and let him know how much it bothers you to have a lousy dinner. Tell him how much it means to you to have the dinner table be a Happy and Respectful Zone. Ask him for his help.

He may be very surprised to learn how you feel about dinner time, mine was. It may be a difficult process getting him to understand what you mean, but he should be responsive to your request. This was one of the worst ordeals of our whole young marriage but we both kept working at it and things are much better now, usually. If he hadn't tried so hard to understand, I don't know where we'd be now. *shudders*

But if you've been married a long time, maybe your feelings for him have been injured beyond repair, and this is more like the last straw for you, I don't really have any advice. You know when you're done.

We are not married and have

We are not married and have only lived together for 2months. So early days for all of us. We have talked about moving in openly for the last 2years. Her response as always is she doesnt want to live with me and my daughter. He claims she is on the edge of a nervous breakdown and we have to treat her with kid gloves. I totally disagree which he is aware of and throws back at me we parent differently.
My daughter isnt overly keen on the move but has never spoken to me like that nor would she dare. I have tried to explain how i feel but he argues he wants to help her not alienate her.
She said tonight she wanted to live elsewhere so i suggested he pack her a bag and take her to her mothers. Which of course i got told -dont be stupid.
I am sorely tempted to give her what she wants and move back out as this certainly isnt how i envisaged my life with him as.

^^^^^And I cannot disagree

^^^^^And I cannot disagree with the above at al. But I still want to know when her birthday is.

Well, your problem is your

Well, your problem is your partner, not the daughter. My, what a perfect storm he is creating. She must be high as a kite on her power trip.

She doesn't like Daddykins running his own life and making adult choices, so she's going to throw a premier Oscar worthy hissy, and he's going to respond by kowtowing to that hissy fit and saying we all need to coddle her with kid gloves? That's RICH!!!!

How can he possibly expect anything ELSE to happen with this scenario?

What should happen? Spoiled entitled brat throws hissy, adult male knocks her chip off her shoulder and makes it clear who makes the adult choices for the family, kid feels secure with her place in the family and knows all is right in the world because Daddy is in charge.

How long till her 18th

How long till her 18th birthday?

Believe me, we all get what you're saying. We've all got the T shirt BTDT on the same argument you're having with him. So how long till her 18th birthday?

Plus, you could ask him if she's is so fragile psychologically why on earth would he pick now to make this big upheaval in her life, moving houses, let alone starting a stepfamily? Call his bluff.

June and have already been

June and have already been told he wont ask her to leave!
She will have no where to go, got no.money unless daddeeeee gives it to her.
We are going round in circles.... Always... We parent differently!!
But hey at least my daughter respects me

Was he like this with her

Was he like this with her before you moved in??

And the bullshit, drama, nervous breakdown excuse?? Crap. She's 17 and realizes this is now your house, and she doesn't like the shift of power from her being the woman of the house, to you being the woman of the house.

If your H doesn't start supporting you, then I would seriously reconsider cohabitation.

Get out. When she was 13, my

Get out. When she was 13, my dh promised me no 18 year olds lolling about on our couch and he is sticking to it. Yours has taken the opposite route on top of refusing to parent her in the here and now even though he has your well behaved daughter for inspiration. Go browse the Adult Stepchildren forum. You are in for hell. And more hell. Frosted with hell.

Your SD will be a failure to launch for a very long time. Then there will be babies from random useless men. You will be raising her kids at least financially and your dh will make you the bad guy every time you suggest she be responsible for herself and her kids.

If you want, because presumably you like the guy quite a bit, you can tell him you made a mistake. You can't live like this. You want order and peace at the table etc. etc. and you want kids to launch properly and have good lives they are eager to build. You don't know if he can do this or if he even wants this out of life. You're sorry you didn't spell it out like that before, but you hope and desire that he will join you in this philosophy. Give him a chance to get on board.

If he doesn't, get outta there asap before you hate him, your daughter loses respect for you, and you don't recognize yourself anymore. Leave before the stepgrandbabies come. Leave before you are older and more bitter. Just go.

If you had said 18 in December I would have said tell him you'll be at your old place till princess ages out and goes to college. But you've told me she'll never leave and that's the way he wants it. He's full of crap. If she's "on the verge of a nervous breakdown" where's the therapy? Why the big change thrust on her? Why did he get angry with her? All bull dookey. He just parents like that, always has, and has no plans to change it. You can give him a chance to think it over and grow, but don't hold your breath.

Totally agree with you

Totally agree with you Shaman29
Thats exactly what ive told him tonight. Sort it or i will move back out.
She has had no consequence for her behaviour tonight. None at all
He just keeps asking how i would have dealt with it then complains we parent differently. I keep pointing out at least i have respect from my daughter regardless.

Also told him in future i will 'parent' SD17 as i see fit if she ever disrespects me again and that will include refusing to take her to train station at 7am eveb though im gping with my own daughter.