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Surprise!!! I just thought it was symptoms of menopause!!

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Yes, you guessed it. We're pregnant. Surprise!!! No we are not prepared. We are actually still trying to swallow this huge pill of reality. We are both 41. We will be almost 60 when this kid goes to college. Wow!!! My sons are 15 and 13 and SD is 10. My boys are going to initially flip, but they typically go with the flow so I have no concerns with them. But SD is in for a rude awakening. She is an only child at BM's and has DH all to herself whe she's here so she is the one I'm dreading dealing with through this journey. DH thinks she'll be so excited she'll want to spend more time with us. But I know that BM is going to be so jealous (she always wanted another child) that she'll corrupt SD10 with her evil rantings - like she always does and SD10 will slowly drift away. SD10 doesn't know how to share toys, much less time with her Daddy. Lord help us through this unexpected journey!!!

Oh and if any of you have cool ideas on how to inform the kids or the rest of the family of this unexpected blessing, it would be appreciated.

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askYOURdad's picture

Congratulations! DH and I were trying and I can tell you I was not prepared. I mean I was prepared in terms of nursery furniture, diapers etc. I even thought I was prepared in terms of the kids and jealousy but this time around with the step dynamic has been much more difficult for me. I have severe anxiety when SDs hold the baby, I am terrified to go back to work because the thought of DH and skids being home with the baby without me is scary. I don't even know where the anxiety is coming from, my skids have been around lots of babies, I know they would never hurt the baby its just that I now feel like even less than family than before, my baby has family ties to skids that I dont and I feel like there is a bigger divide now than before. I don't know I hope it gets better. Sorry to be a downer, I just hope u have a better experience.

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

That is certainly one of my fears, but mine more stems from the fact that my biological child will forever be connected with the psychotic family I've been counting down the years to escape. BM and her parents are awful, hateful, vengeful people and they are teaching SD10 to be the same way. I'm not thrilled that my child's half sister will not be the kind of sibling she deserves.

askYOURdad's picture

Did you experience the anxiety I mentioned with your DD? Any advice on overcoming it?

askYOURdad's picture

OMG same as far as the walking around. I have read all about "mini wife" on here but it doesn't come close to the feelings of "mini mommy". I am very strict about washing hands/sitting down with baby etc. but they still push limits so I just don't let baby out of my sight. I'm glad it isnt just me.

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

So very true!! Hell, I have my doubts that any of us will have a relationship with SD10 in a few years.

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Actually, all the women in my family have hit menopause in their late 30's so I guess it just goes to show we can't always rely on genetics!!! Lol

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Yes, it is our first together. I'm kind of excited about that fact, and that DH will finally get to raise a child in a loving, caring household without psycho BM involved in it's every movement.