Child Support
After reading Katielee's blog to DF,he said something that got me thinking about many of the back to school posts here. He said the BM was smart to get Katielee's husband to agree to her paying tuition instead of CS. He said he would rather spend X amount each year on his girls (clothes, food, college fund, sports, summer camp, mani, pedi....)instead of having the money go to BM.
Many SMs here complain about BMs not using CS as it is intended. If you had the option, which would you prefer? Hand the money over to BM or allow dad to have complete control over how the money is used.
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Comments
I agree with you Vanessa...if
I agree with you Vanessa...if I didn't receive CS from my exH he would pay nothing! It would always be something. He complains he has no $$ ever (and he makes a very good living) but constantly has hundreds to spend on tattoos, muscle enhancers, and designer clothes. Can't give daughter $20 to go to a movie with a friend while at his house, so she has to have friend drive her to my home to get $$ from me, but posts pics of his newest chest tattoo that only cost $300!! PUHLEEZE.
And my DH's exW is the same thing. Sent my SS back to our home with twine wrapped AROUND his shoe to hold it on because his shoe lace broke and she couldn't afford new LACES, apparently didn't have any 'extra' shoes lying around that don't need laces anymore either, and was too fucking dumb to at least thread the twine as a lace?? But she went to a concert last week and just spent $1500 on a four wheeler, when she complains and is behind on her $84/month CS. So she'd never pay anything either... and wouldn't.
I would never want my ex to
I would never want my ex to have a say or control over CS. He pays less than what I could have gotten, is a month in arrears and may be caught up in October. It now comes directly out of his check, but just in the few short months he has been paying he has forgotten the check, then it wouldn't cash. BUT he could take his new GF on a weekend get away. He bitches each time I interact about how broke he is and yesterday asked BM1 to greatly reduce her CS which has not been changed in 9 years so he could get a bigger apt in a better neighborhood for the 5 days a month the kids are there. He got abusively nasty when he was told no and then called me and lied about it to paint her as the bad guy.
Sorry crazy, I saw the emails you sent her. Here is an idea, don't buy new cars and take your new GF out constantly and you may not be so poor or get a second job. Might have been a good idea not to abuse your wives and then you would not be paying CS. Just saying
Just to clarify... SDstb13
Just to clarify... SDstb13 lives with US and BM does NOT pay child support, only tuition to private school that she put SD in without consulting us. My point is that neither of the parents can afford private school, but they THINK they can because I supplement the income at our house. I think it's bullshit but whatever...
I much prefer NOT handing BM money every month so she can spend it on mani/pedis and mini-vacays.
But if I had a choice between SD being with BM and handing her money every month or SD being here every day messing with my life, I would send her back in a New York minute.
LOL- I had to read it a
LOL- I had to read it a couple of times... like who is she talking about.
Before DF and I met, he would
Before DF and I met, he would let BM keep the receipts whenever he purchased things for the girls. That ended once I came along. I have no idea if she ever returned stuff and keep the money. But she sure went off the deep end when the receipts stopped showing up with the clothes and shoes.
Aswang.....that is what our
Aswang.....that is what our BM did for years...sell SD stuff. And this was when she was getting a ton of money from hubby. She would sell SD Xmas gifts etc. Drove me nuts to watch.
Thankfully how BM spends her
Thankfully how BM spends her CS doesnt really affect us. I am pretty sure most months she is broke. From what I can get, she blows her money one month on stupid stuff- clothes for the skids, eating out, entertainment. But then the next month she is broke and cant pay her bills. So there is no food in the fridge, the lights get shut off, etc. Then she pulls it together the following month and pays her bills and gets caught up and then the next month its blowing money. Its a cycle with her.
She used to be a lot worse with the necessities (food, electric, etc) before I came along and she knew that DH would bail her out. I put a stop to that. So from what I understand she is "better" at getting the bills paid.
I know the cell phones get cut off a lot because YSD always has a new number. Yet she is always dressed really nice- name brand shoes and clothes.
I wish there was
I wish there was accountability too. DH pays $200.00 a week for SD13 and she is always crying that she needs this and that because BM had to pay rent, or they were gonna cut the electricity, or BM was 4 months behind on SDs tuition, or this or that.
So now that SD13 is no longer in private school, the EXTRA $200.00 a month that he pays for school, DH told SD, "Tell your mother she better not ask me for a THING if she doesn't want me to go to court and take away that extra $200.00 for the school that you no longer attend."
He agreed to let her keep the 200.00 extra, but that she needs to use it for SD. Will she? Probably not. But I don't want him to go back to court to get it adjusted. Court always fucks us.
I think it would just get too
I think it would just get too confusing if there were certain things BM covered and certain things DH covered based on the CS level. I admit that sometimes when I think about it, "my money" going to her every month causes an angry emotional response. But from a rational perspective it really is the only way to make it work. If anything, having DH control the CS money would cause more headaches for me since I manage our finances. But I am fortunate in that although I have issues my with her, BM is a responsible, productive member of society who loves and provides for her children.
My sks bm pays us $100 a
My sks bm pays us $100 a month in cs. Dh was paying $1500 a month when bm had them. It's a scary double standard.
Forget asking for "accountability" on how cs is spent. Ask that the system revisit custody issues and place the kids with the truly better parent. 1. That's what needs to happen and 2. As someone whose dh receives cs, I know it's his money. He knows it is his money. We don't want anyone demanding to see how we spend our money. If I had an ex and he wanted to see how I spend my money I'd tell him to take a long walk off a short bridge.