Yes, you are right about breath, that is nothing serious. But pulling baby’s ears to the point where they are almost bleeding and potentially poking my kids eyes out with a pencil are what I am afraid of. I do admit that I can’t keep living in fear of what “might” happen. A part of growing up is that with siblings we will all get hit and spit or breathed on. But there is a line between that normal sibling annoyance and KNOWN problem children who have a parent who will not acknowledge the said problems. The annoyance behavior with breathing and spitting they will do when my husband and I can see so it is addressed at that time.

But when we are not looking what will they do? That is what I can’t fathom and need some type of reassurance that DH can watch my baby in their presence when I’m not there.

I didn’t mention all of their behavior here because it’s just too long and people don’t want to read all that.

For example, they poked at their hamster’s eyes with a pencil (DH was in shower, I was cooking). They poured toilet cleaner in the aquarium and watched all the fish nearly dissolve. Numerous times they spit snot in the aquarium and also on the hamster as well as pull the hamster’s ears in front of us at which time the hamster was moved into the family room and eventually adopted out for my fear that they would kill the hamster. So they act one freaking way in front of us, but behind us they assault. I'm telling you they will do that to my kid, I know it.... And this lawyer is still telling me that legally the judge will not remove them from visitation unless they harm my kid? WHY NOT? I understand normal kid behavior, but doing that to innocent animals that can't defend themselves is an indicator of what is to come. I am only asking that my child be protected until he can TALK...

When you ask them why they do those things, they just say because it was funny or they want to see what the hamster was going to do? What?

This is why I am afraid for my baby because what if they do something like that to him during visitation when DH isn’t looking? I know that I can’t live on the what ifs, but I don’t understand why those types of things they do to animals is not enough for them to not be ALONE with the baby without a parent really watching. The baby can’t talk or defend himself just yet.

These boys are in counseling/therapy because of the hamster and fish incident. Our family dog has been adopted out because the counselor wanted to deter them from trying to harm him. The boys cried and cried not to have their dog go away, but MIL intervened and decided to adopt the dog. There is some severe issues going on with these kids and when I say they have never been disciplined, I MEAN IT. They get ANYTHING they ask for. DH buys them everything they want, takes them to every amusement park etc. Every weekend is a wonderland for them. All DH does is talk to them to be good every single night, no types of consequences for what they did during the day at camp or school etc. I have finally decided to get out and let that be DH problem to deal with. I’m just so sorry that I brought a child into this world in this type of situation.

Thanks for your suggestion on asking for supervised visits. I will try that and see what comes of that. I only really want this until the baby can fully talk. Once he’s able to talk, there will be no need for me to be so paranoid.

Police reports have been filed, this is why they are in counseling. Also this is why no pets are ever allowed to be in any residence that they live in. You are correct. I'm working on demanding the supervised visits. I can't stay any longer. Many friends and family that I have talked to have said that I can stay with them in the meantime. It's on DH now to figure out what to do with them because I can't be worried about that anymore.

Thank you. You are correct. Just because he can talk doesn't mean he will tell on his "brothers". I am already in the process of making arrangements to stay with family (my parents). I have offers from friends too, but prefer to stay with my parents. I have taken others advice about demanding supervised visits, I will have to request that. I hope all of that works out when DH starts wanting to see the baby. I refuse at this point to let the baby visit without the supervision. Who knows what they are capable of. And if they never do anything, then that is wonderful, but it's always better to err on the side of caution than not.

Thank you again for bringing up the scenario about the baby might not speak up because I hadn't thought of that before... I just kept thinking of the "tattle tale" scenario where the younger sibling would tattle on the older ones. However, in this case when you are talking some form of physical abuse, goodness.... You are right, he might not even say anything if the twins tell him not too... I really need to get in a better place, this worries me all day long that it's affecting my work and health etc.