SD10 has no underwear... and for some reason I care
And they are ALL at BM's house-probably dirty, too! How does this even happen? MIL has bought SD10 underwear, I have bought SD10 underwear, she should, in theory have enough underwear to choke a small horse, but no. She has about 2 pairs here that fit her and 3 pair that are 4 sizes too small. That does not work when the child lives with us 5 days a week. Every Sunday when she comes home from BM, she has on a pair of her old undies from like 4 years ago and I throw them away because they don't fit ANYBODY. I was hoping that eventually she would run out of super small old undies and have to start handing back over the correct sized ones. Heaven forbid BM would have to purchase something for her own child, right? I even told SO to please talk to SD10 and/or BM and between the two of them bring back some underwear-even if they are dirty! It has been hard to resist buying more, because I cycle between feeling bad for her and being angry about wasting $ essentially buying stuff that just benefits BM. Wal-Mart even had a good sale, like 12 prs for 6.43 (bonus pkg.) and I had to go there twice this week and resisted buying them, so I am kind of proud of myself. I keep saying that I am going to stay out of it and certainly not break down and buy another bag. But, seriously, kids need to be changing their underwear and wearing ones that fit right FFS!
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Buy them and keep them at
Buy them and keep them at your place. She wears the old stuff back to her mothers place. Or buy cheapcheap underwear for her to wear to school on switchover day if it is a school day. Otherwise, mommy's underwear.
My daughter got sick of sending GD to school in presentable clothes on Mondays and the following week she would pick her up in hoochie mama clothes. Who puts a 4 yr old in a gold lame' puff jacket, cami top and shorts in November? Oh and wearing ugg boots. Because "she wanted to". Didn't the fool know a 4 yr old has the dress sense of a gnat? Shiny and pink or sparkly and she will wear it.
This is a kind of Cold War. No one will say anything but it will carry on.
"Buy them and keep them at
"Buy them and keep them at your place. She wears the old stuff back to her mother's place."
This. This is what my SO has had to do, because BM was sending SD back in ill-fitting, ratty clothes instead of the good clothes she'd been sent over in, and eventually all he had was a pile of ill-fitting, ratty clothes. Of course once he started doing that it was mentioned in her affidavit that SD was being neglected because "she's wearing clothes too small" but that didn't get her anywhere.
Eventually she learned her lesson, and she is now sending SD over in properly fitting, presentable clothes. And guess what? They get washed and reworn when she goes back to BM's, right down to socks, knickers and hair tie. Of course, changeovers now happen on school days, and what I wouldn't give to have that ugly skort BM picked out ruined in the wash
Start sending her dad on a
Start sending her dad on a Walmart run every time she runs out. Inconvenience him a few times and he'll figure a way to solve the problem.
I get what you are saying. BM
I get what you are saying. BM sent skids from underwear to clothes and shoes too small. I even went as far as buying new packages of underwear for BOTH homes and asked BM/ Mini to throw away the too small underwear and replace it with the new ones. BM wouldn't do it.
We even bought wardrobes of clothing for the skids and she would send them over in really, really small clothes. They would cry and complain the clothes were too small and go home in the clothes from our home.
It gets to be a bit much when you give the skids 30k and then they get another 43k in death bennies and BM can't buy fucking clothing that fits.
Now we have underwear, socks, pjs and swimsuits at our house. We keep buying those items.
But this is what I've learned over the years, Is it more important to get back at BM over these things or for the skids to see who is the person who isn't fighting over these things?
Because guaranteed the skids know the game BM is playing with you over underwear. Let her look like the idiot.
HEx5 kind of covered my
HEx5 kind of covered my suggestion, which could work depending on the BM...buy a packet of undies and hand them over at pick up/drop off (or have DH do it) and say "as SD is repeatedly coming over in too small underwear, I figured you are once again having budgeting issues. We do not, so here is a gift as I care about SD being comfortable and not being picked on for digging at the too small pairs". Either she will huff (funny) or be mortified...it works a charm every time my ex starts dressing BS7 like a hobo...I send a few new outfits and the next time he comes he is miraculously wearing new items! I am not sure if with my ex he is just too stupid to notice things do not fit or hates the fact I think he cannot afford to dress him, either way, it works!
I would totally just buy them
I would totally just buy them if I knew they wouldn't all end up at BM house week by week. But SOMEHOW she still has a supply of underwear that are way too small for SD10 that she keeps sending her in. It is a big enough issue to keep enough presentable clothing for her, I certainly do not want to be the one asking SD10 what undies she is wearing over to BM house. The problem needs to be dealt with at the source. And the problem is not that there is not plenty to supply both homes by now. There has to be at least 12-24 pairs of right sized ones at BM's. I figured the easiest thing to do was to simply have SO mention it and ask for some back. If I have to get involved it is not going to be pretty; it is such a pathetic issue anyhow.