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Father's Day Vent

Keepsmiling's picture

Submitted by Keepsmiling on Mon, 06/16/2014 - 11:29am

I want to strangle my dh right now. Yesterday I had made plans with some girlfriends to attend a festival for a couple of hours, I told dh it is father's day do you mind. When I get home I will take you out to dinner. No problem; he had some stuff to do anyway. So dh calls me to see if I am ready to go home...which is out of character for him. Fast forward he comes to pick me up(parking is horrendous) and says osd is cooking dinner. I was like what? We had plans to go out... dh well I forgot. Realy??
Dinner was never mentioned before I left. (She has been living with us for a almost a year.) I know it is a nice gesture; but we already had plans. To top it off she prepared a special dish which I love. The only problem is the festival always has it. And of course I had some. Why would you prepared that dish? I didn't want to ruin his father's day; so I said nothing. The more I thought about it; the angrier I got. She is 39, old enough to know how to make plans. It's not about cards or phone calls or gifts. She got him a card and gift. I felt it was to assert herself in the household. Earlier in the weekend ysd had us for diner. And guess what osd prepared almost the exact same meal. I wonder why?
Sometimes I feel so petty.

Comments

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Mon, 06/16/2014 - 11:39am

It seems you are extremely stressed over many things…I say this because you sound like me sometimes, but you know, it was father's day and you went elsewhere. I understand your DH didn't have a problem with it, but honestly, had he had a problem with it, you might have also complained. I think you did what you wanted to do yesterday and yet wanted to also control what everyone did the rest of the day. I think your DH was extremely gracious to not make a big deal about you spending time with friends on Father's Day and to then complain not only about staying in, but about what meal was prepared is a bit over the top. Again, I do understand we sometimes get like this because we many times feel we have zero control over our lives because of all these skid issues, but I think that you should let this go. We can't get 100% of what we want everyday, sometimes it is give and take.

By the way, I am sick of my DH but yesterday was Father's Day. He WANTED me to accompany him to his stepfather's grave and honestly, I had no desire to go out with DH or anywhere close to his family…but I went. In return, he wanted to just come home after that and sit on his ass on a Sunday, when I was not happy with it because I sit on my ass every single day M-F. We then agreed I would accompany him to the grave, but would go to a restaurant we both like to eat dinner instead of coming straight home. Again, I am not even in a good place with my DH any longer, but I think we have to sometimes give in a little and be fair. Even though I am sick of DH, for me to have said "no to accompanying him to his stepfather's grave and then demand we go out to dinner because I am sick of being home everyday" would have been selfish.