Update on my emotionally distant dh
So as you know dh has checked out on me this week. Apart from a 30 second spoon last night that is. I cooked him dinner last night and today we spoke civilly and jokingly at times but there was still this emotional chasm between us. I think all his checking out has made me really disconnect.
Anyways as a result of this lack of intimacy this week... There has obviously been well a lack of intimacy. Out of nowhere he comes on strong and tries to seduce me. I just think in my head what the fuck, i told you last week I'm third in your life after work and ss (actually 4th as he went out with friends 3/4 times last week), you ignore me for a week which I have never done to you even when you did some pretty shitty stuff last year, which would have been a deal breaker had it been the other way around. I shouted, I cried but fuck it I spoke to you and we talked it out. Anyways I got my time of the month today, I'm bloated and sore. I calmly said sorry buddy, women troubles not tonight.
I thought he understood but then he went out to meet his friend with some work stuff but said he won't be drinking?? Second "date night" In as many weeks I'm left alone. Did I do the right thing? I really didn't want to have sex and play nicey nice even though that would be easier. I do that if we fight about something petty but this fight was far from petty. I'm lost for words and I feel bad. I don't know what to do. Guess I'm just not up for loving with a man who has shown me zero love for quite some time.
- Fullofresentment's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
disengaging is dangerous to a
disengaging is dangerous to a relationship. i found when I disengaged from dh kids I disengaged from him.
i think your reaction is honest and pure. it would be different if you were being vindictive
The honesty may hurt but you
The honesty may hurt but you need an honest answer. Is he in or is he out.
Then you know where you stand and can work on your next step.
But one thing... please do not have sex with him without protection. Who knows what he has been up to. And if he gets angry to suggest it, ask him how would he feel if you did x, y and z not to mention A and B as well.
I will be thinking of you this weekend and sending strong vibes.
Oh I don't need to worry
Oh I don't need to worry about that. Dh does not want any more gulden for the foreseeable future due to his two accidents with bm1 and bm2.
I have to agree here... Until
I have to agree here... Until you are 100% sure he is not cheating.
honey I looked through your
honey I looked through your previous posts and I am astounded that you apologized to this "man". he told you that you know where the door is, and kind of backed that up when you questioned him. why are you still there??? it's obvious he's wanting to use you for a piece of ass. you were correct in not having sex with him. you have to be true to yourself. you need to get away from this man, allow him to miss you and only go back after HE makes counseling appointments for the two of you. what in the world are you even getting out of this "marriage"?? call him on his bluff. and with his attitude with you, it's not out of the realm of possibilities that he's seeing someone because he's certainly checked out on you! and honey, I've never seen a man leave a woman unless he has a little honey on the side. you asked him if he wants you to leave and he did NOT respond with a resounding NO. leave.
This ^^^^ Also you quite
This ^^^^
Also you quite rightly rejected him and he leaves to go out with "buddies" for a second time this week?! Coupled with his disrespect towards you, coldness it really seems like he is doing the guy thing of, treat em mean so you will dump him. When a man is after sex and decides then to have a boy night after being told no, it seems like is chasing tail and its not yours. Urgh, what a twat, he should man up and be honest with you, not keep you dangling and making you suffer. Clearly, he does not deserve you, as he fails to treat you like you treat him.
When you complained about how
When you complained about how he treats you, he told you there's the door. He has made it clear that he doesn't care if you stay or go. Having sex with him won't change that.
He's acting like a man who has already decided that his marriage is done. Instead of being a man and taking the necessary steps to end things, he's waiting for you to take the first step.
So what does he get out of
So what does he get out of having you around? Because it takes 2 to make a marriage work and he isn't one of the two in yours.
Do you pay a majority of the bills? Do you cook and clean and do laundry?
He wants his cake and to eat it, too. But you continue to put up with his BS.
What do YOU get out of having HIM around? Seriously, do both lists.