great weekend
Last week we managed to have family time, couples night, and a fabulous weekend this weekend.
Friday night we dropped SS at a kids night at the museum where he loves to play and have fun for a few hours while we ate dinner and enjoyed being out and about downtown. The weather was great so it made for a great night. We picked him up he had a great attitude. Saturday we went to a free kids puppet show at the library, it's very interactive and fun for adults also. SO got a little out of hand with his affection for "daddy." SO held my hand and SS literally pulled his arm in another direction while in college class type seating during the performance. I let it go for a while until SS was literally falling out of his chair. I then did what the psychologist told me I could, interrupt the disruptive behavior and a address it "sit in your chair please" in a stern voice. He calmed down a little.
We took him to a birthday party and dropped him there for 20 minutes. I went my own way for a while after this, got some coffee and did some of the pages in my "surviving a borderline parent" workbook. I felt a bit of relief from doing the work, really working. SO was to talk to SS about my place in the house while I was gone, that loving someone doesn't mean there's less love to go around, and when he goes off to college that SO is still going to have me with him and needs his "bluehighlighter." Talked about all the things the psychologist suggested.
When I got to the house after my coffee time, SS was really excited to see me. He talked and talked. We are throwing a going away party for a friend this coming weekend so I took SS with me shopping to get banners, cake supplies, and cleaning supplies. He talked the entire time about Star Wars, which was annoying but whatever it wasn't passive aggressive. We sang songs together in the car. When we got back SS, SO and I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. We rearranged furniture and SS continued to talk non stop. Finally we put some really loud upbeat lyric less music on and I said nicely "SS honey we are going to relax some now and just be quiet and listen to the music while we work ok?" He seemed fine with this. I made the muffins yesterday morning that SS and I picked out at the store. He really like this, I think he felt involved. We also picked out some cool tyedye cake mix that he and I can use sometime soon. After breakfast, SS and SO said they had a present for me. SS got his "phone/camera" out and wanted to take of picture of SO giving it to me. It was a movie I wanted. SO said "two people love you very much" SS hugged me and seemed genuinely loveable LOL
They were cute. I worked at my part time job for a few hours yesterday and before I left everyone needed hugs. SS seemed sad that I might not be home til after he went to bed.
I mean I can't blame the kid for not trusting if I'm going to be around or not, maybe not wanting to get close if I leave or if I'm not permanent. I plan on being a permanent part of their lives. I think he's starting to respect me more also when I've slightly directed him in what to do when he's acting nuts. He seems to listen to me a little better than his dad.
Overall I'm hopeful. SO didn't seem to get lost in "cater to the child" syndrome. He still made me feel like his woman instead of a fillin parent for SS. We will see how the week goes.
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Comments
Thank you so much. I hope
Thank you so much. I hope you're doing well!! Boundaries and positive parenting indeed. Our therapist is great. SO is a lil rough around the edges with all his graphs and numbers. It's cute but so strange. He actually made a graph in counseling Friday and everyone was smiling. He is a mess. I'm like babe I'm sorry it's just you're cute with all your graphs. : ) We have been more focused about actions vs words. He and I communicate so differently. Actions really speak much louder.
Awwwww You can do it!!! I'll
Awwwww You can do it!!! I'll be looking for you posts