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Defending SD against bullies

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Mon, 02/03/2014 - 4:50pm

SDnow15 was waiting for me to pick her up in front of school. She was yelling at 3 girls who looked like they where in the mood to start a physical confrontation. They where calling SD out of her name and using profanities that would make a father blush. I pulled up and told SD to get in the car. SD walked toward the car as they continued to verbally harass her. I told them that was enough. I parked my car and got out to escort SD to the car. At this point one of the girls was pushing SD trying to instigate an altercation. I told them to leave her alone and I will be reporting them to the principle. I saw a teacher walking by and ushered him over. Of course the girls ran when they saw the teacher. The teacher pissed me off trying to tell me well he knows the girls and their good girls on the basketball team it was just a spat between girls over a boy. Sd was in tears begging me to go home.

I took SD home and called the principal and made a complaint she said she will make sure this gets handled. I called DH. He went up to the school and talked to the security. SD opened up to us about being bullied. She said this has been going on for a while. She was in tears and not her normal over dramatics I could see the hurt on her face. BM came over and we talked about maybe transferring her to a different school.

I am posting this not to get any praise. I hope you guys can take from this and talk to your kids and step kids because they wont always tell you what is going on when your not around. Even if you think they tell you everything still just please talk to them. Even if you hate your step kids or they hate you no one no matter what they've done no one deserves to be bullied and or harassed. I imagine if I didn't witness it how long would it have went on with her suffering alone. Kids are taking their life's over this. don't think it can't happen to your kid or step kid. Please have a talk with them or have your SO talk with them. It could make a difference.

Comments

momagainfor4's picture

Submitted by momagainfor4 on Mon, 02/03/2014 - 5:25pm

I was bullied almost my entire 6 grade year and part of my 7th. It was awful and hurtful. There wasn't really a name for it back then. No one had this whole no bullying zone thing going on.

My mom raised a fuss. People got into trouble. I got into trouble bc teachers thought I had egged it on or that somehow I was to blame.

I see that my part in that was that I never stood up for myself. I expected other people; teachers, parents, friends to stand up for me.

I'm not saying sd has to stand up for herself physically but sometimes mentally you have to say yeh I'm tired of this bullshit!
I'm against sending her to a different school. You can't send her to a different place every time a bunch of assholes treat her like shit. That's unfortunately life. She will need to find the best way to deal with it and since she know has your support, she has someone to confide in and to help her. The administrators will take care of it on the school part. Oh socially it'll keep going on but she needs to learn to find her own way to deal with this instead of running away.
and I guess that depends on really how bad this had been?? physical or whatever? what have they been doing to her? Ya know?!

I will say that when I was in 7th grade I went with my friend to her cousin's house. There was a group of kids there that I went to school with and I felt like it was a fun thing bc I wanted to fit in.
We played football in the front yard then about halfway through my friend's cousin jumped on me on the ground and pretended that he was having sex with me. he was grinding against me, holding me down and yelling, making noises. I was mortified. I walked all the way home.
I never told anyone about this bc it was horrifying.
sd needs to be strong so crap like this doesn't happen to her. ppl take advantage of weaker ppl. Sad

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 02/03/2014 - 8:23pm

I would not drop it and make sure that teacher is held accountable. These kids saw you and were not intimidated. That should say something. Good for you for standing up and reporting it. Let us know what happens.

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Mon, 02/03/2014 - 7:54pm

I could guess from her past behavior (a good predictor of future behavior) she's likely brought this on herself. That however doesn't make it right. I also am thoroughly against transferring schools as first option this teaches her absolutely nothing and I guarantee as an adult there will still be bullies she'll have to deal with.
So it needs to be clear WHY the bullying is happening and SD needs to have steps she HAS to take to resolve it. If she can't do that now she's screwed as an adult too.