Nothing goes from our house to BMs or vice versa. If SD tries t bring something over it goes into the closet until she goes back to her moms. We dont get things back from BM. And if BM had her way clothing would go back and forth aswell. Alot of the parenting courses suggest the kids have everything they need at each home. Packing a bag makes them feel as though they are leaving someone or just visiting someone else. When SD6 told us this was exactly how she felt we just made the decision that it would be simple and easier to not have anything travel between homes. That and like I said BM has a way of just keeping things that we cant replace. Also my mother bought SD gifts and we dont feel is appropriate for those ppresents to go to BMs... it ddoesn't feel right for SD6 to potentially loose a girft from my mom and have it never come back. Our biggest push towards this system was seeing that it actually bothered SD come exchange day!

Years ago we would not let anything go back to the BM's house. If you sent anything in value the BM would go pawn it and make the kids believe they lost the item themselves.

Now they are teenagers and for the first time you let them take their IPAD home they got for Christmas, Why ? because they could use them in school and their school required it. So for once we let them take them home back a year ago. Each time they came and visit they brought them with them. It would be silly stupid if she went an pawn them plus they are old enough to demand plus she could not pull that oh you must of lost it crap when they turn their backs for a few hours from home and mama took off with it CRAP because they keep those things with them at all times.

My BS15 takes whatever he wants back and forth between my house and his dad's house. My ex and I have never had a problem with things never returning, stuff missing, etc. In fact there have been times when things I have bought our son and things he has bought our son naturally gravitate to one house or the other. There have been times when one of us has called and said "Do you have all the jeans? Send a couple back." Always with a joke and a smile because we are more intent on raising our son together than playing games at his expense.

With SS7, very little goes back and forth even down to the smallest most inexpensive things, such as Pokemon cards, at BM's insistence. Items we have bought never surface again in BM's house but you better be damn sure to return anything she bought or WWIII is going to start. It has gotten so bad that she stole the snacks we put in SS7's back pack for his class at school. The only things that are no longer haggled over are underwear and socks. Yes, she used to have fits about socks!!!!

She looses everything at BM's. Pretty sure there is a big black hole, or some sort of a great abys (sp) over there because they leave with no trace or evidence of ever being used....ever again, gone, lost like an 8 month old Easter egg...

Since Disney boy won't address issue, I refrain from purchasing anything of value. We do have some items considered to be family items that will not go home with her. Example, we are at a higher elevation and get more snow so we get her a set of boots and snow pants to leave here. She doesn't really use them down country but on a rare occasion. BM did request but we pretend to "forget." She gets generous CS, what the heck? I also DO NOT borrow camping equipment, to include sleeping bags. I am pretty sure the sleeping bag would be treated carelessly and "if" it is returned it will come back smelling like bear bait just in time for a camp trip. Oh joy! I have zero tolerance for food anywhere near sleeping gear. BM can use CS to get her own. Then they all can trash away, freely. Critters, welcome!

BS, when he still visited his dad, brought his stuff back and forth. SS14 leaves whatever we buy for him here. If it goes over there, it will be destroyed by being chewed up or pissed on by their multitude of animals who regularly pee and poop in the house. Gross.

My bios and the skids can bring back and forth whatever they want. My only rule is that it has to be their toy and not a community toy. For example, certain games or art supplies don't get shuffled because those are everyone's. The kids don't usually bring a large amount of stuff, usually a book, small toy, stuffed animal or their Nintendo's.

I don't really care it's their crap what am I going to do with it while they are gone? I can see though, how I might start to care if my house was being depleted of everything they have, but I think it falls on the kid too, if you have nothing to do here bring your crap back.

It's actually written in my CO that bios stuff is theirs and they can bring it back and forth within reason given the size. I remember as a COD not being allowed to bring things back and forth and leaving one house only to return the next week and it was broken from my step siblings.

Anything we bought or the grandparents bought, including money was left here to enjoy at our house. Only thing the kids took back and forth was their DS, until BM just bought one for her house...This made it easier. Backpacks from school were the only thing the kids left with. We even ordered extra soccer uniforms so we never had any drama.

Mostly, we kept them at our house, only because her brother (not DH's kid) would destroy her things if she took them home.

We try to keep stuff we buy at our house and if BM buys it, I make sure it goes back to her house. When we buy clothes for SD, we put her initials on the tag. So that way when we're low on stuff we can say, "Go through your clothes at your mom's and bring home all the clothes with "X" on the tag." It works since all SD will wear is Justice stuff, so it's hard to remember what's ours and what's BM's. Other than that, SD basically has 2 of everything. 2 bikes, 2 tvs, 2 tablets, 2 Nintendo DS, more clothes and shoes and jammies than anyone would ever need ever, multiples of toys/movies...it's pretty ridiculous. But it's nice that the only thing she has to bring back and forth is her book bag.

Most of SOs family make a big de about them wanting their gifts to remain at our house. BM made a huge to do the first xmas because she felt ALL clothes and gifts should come back with the kids. The problem is I feel when you have young skids and an entitled BM you have to draw very clear lines. BM thinks of her house as home and our home as visiting grounds. I am almost positive she tells the kids this as well. If things went to her house she would send a suitcase back every time with toys she felt held them over during their time with SO most likely cheap gifts or something she could use to communicate with SD6. I find it utterly disrespectful to allow skids to take things over to BMs that have been purchased in order for the skids to play with in our home. Last year xmas of 2012 I bought SD6 a cute furry Tuque with ears... it went missing and we just assumed it got lost I was upset but ok. I was livid when it showed up her the week of Christmas this year! My money does not go to gifts that BM can use so she doesnt have to spend ridiculous amount of cs she gets! Aside from that as the poster above said SD now has doubles except for clothing we do not have lots! Another reason why it stays here. SD also has a very hard time emotionally bringing things away from homes. So we draw a clear line at saying no to traveling items.