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"You'd understand if you had kids" ARRRRRGH!

Uncledog's picture

If there is one thing I cannot stand as a step-dad, it's the title.
Like getting a girl pregnant and her birthing it actually engages some kind of secret male brain.
I've been in my SD's life since she can remember. I helped in every way, made it to EVERY school function.
I held her in my arms as she cried over her POS father when he died (I do not bad talk him).
She is my child. Yes, there are issues, but I have been invested over 4/5ths of her life. What does the other 1/5 count for?

I DO have a kid. A bright, smart, kind, caring, troublesome, painful, lazy kid.

I do understand. My job is to make sure she is a well adjusted adult, aware of the rules, rights and regulations of real life. All I want for her is to find joy in this life.

Would it be any different for me? I do not believe so.

Comments

Shaman29's picture

That is a ridiculous statement to make to any man who has bios.

I? have no bios (I'm a woman) and my usual response to that is "I don't have to take poison in order to understand it would be a bad idea."

Uncledog's picture

Oh, I have no bio children. Just a SD that is my child. But yes, the poison is a good one, haha.
I usually counter with "You'd understand if you were me".

Uncledog's picture

Thanks Smithy,
I like my position. I mean, yeah there are nightmares to be had with the setup, but the joy is worth it.
When she grows up, I hope that she's better off than her bios and far better off than I.
Being any kind of parent takes a crazy head, no? haha

Uncledog's picture

Thank you all for the support. Strangely enough, my primary struggles in being a (step) parent do not come from my wife or the kid. The problems come from my parents and strangers. Funny enough, I seem to be a rarity here.
Yeah, there are issues between my new(ish) family, but they are pretty normal in my findings.

3familiesIn1's picture

well.. I have 2 daughters, my DH has a daughter and a son.

I have been told, well you don't have boys so you don't know....

I have been in SS's life since he was 3, he is now 8 - excuse me??? Riiiiight, because I 'don't have a boy' I can't possibly know anything.

I hear you.