TickedOff,

Our stories are actually quite similar in a few respects.

I met my FDH in the complex we both lived in. I would run into him when getting home from work and going to the mailbox, or when he was on his way to an association board meeting across the street. (I now know that he took notice of when I got home from work and would coincide his being outside with then.) He always had something funny to say. For instance, one day I had my ipod on with the earplugs in and he yelled for me to turn it down! It was funny because he was the Association's President and could enforce these things, but obviously no one else could hear the music.

Like your guy, he also was a little nerdy but has beautiful green-blue eyes and a sexy deep voice. I used to go for the tall, dark and handsome type, but he's not very tall and has light hair...still pretty handsome though.

After a few months of 'bumping' into each other, teasing and flirting, he finally asked me out. I didn't learn until that first date that he had a daughter. If I'd have had any clue how hard it would be being with a guy with a kid, I may have ended it there. But, I didn't, and I really liked him by then, and his daughter (10yr.) and I didn't meet until we'd been dating many months. Obviously by this time I was in deep, plus I really liked his daughter.

I didn't see the disney-dad act until I was to the point of spending almost every evening there. I didn't know how much was normal or not, but when things like her sleeping with him and him still bathing her at 7yr. came up, he gradually got better. I wouldn't get a house with him until they were no longer sleeping together.

BTW - When I asked about BM on that first date, he said, "That's a long story, and believe me, you don't want me to get into it right now". I was so naive!

It took me a long time to become an official SM.

I met my DH at a little league game. He was getting divorced from his second wife. (not BM). I had been divorced a little while. I told him up front that I did not like kids and I did not want a serious relationship. I just wanted to have fun. Well..one thing led to another and we fell in love.

After about 3-4 months he asked me to marry him. I turned him down. lol. I told him I loved him, but I would not marry him because of his issues with SS and BM. AND that I wanted to raise my kid before committing to a marriage. (and I knew there would always be the chance that SS could move in with DH! Did not tell DH that one though)

We did not live together or marry for about 7ish years. (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS FOR THOSE WITH YOUNGER KIDS/SKIDS!!!) When SS was about 15, he and BM moved several hours away so I figured it was time to get married. I just KNEW that SS and his BFF (BM) were way to in love with each other for him to ever move in with DH at that point. And BM LOVED the CS.

Well..about 6 months after we married guess who was dumped on our door step? YUP! And BM even paid CS. :jawdrop:

I signed up for an online dating website as a joke to just laugh at what people said about themselves. It made me fill out a profile so I put very basic information with a few jokes. I logged on like a week later and had 127 people in my inbox all douchebags. I logged on every few days for a week just reading other peoples profiles. I never wrote anyone. I never wrote anyone back.

Then I saw this little face pop up wearing my college alum sweater. He was really cute. A very serious look on his face. I wrote him. He wrote back. We still laugh about him being the only guy I had ever talked to on the site. He had been on a few dates but no relationships had been born of his online dating attempts.

We went on a date 2 weeks later. Another amazing first kiss before we left. He didn't even wait until he was out of the parking garage to text me and say he couldn't wait to see me again. We've been inseparable ever since.

A friend of mine who knew him through her work fixed us up on a blind date. She called me one day and said "Daizy! I have the perfect guy for you, I can't believe I didn't think about him.. but just talked to him today, he's single, he's cute, he's a nice guy, I told him about you, he is interested we are going to meet him for drinks tonight" I was like Oh, OK, sounds cool... BTW what does he do? She told me he was a cop; I was pissed. I had already told my little matching making friend that I was NOT interested in dating a Dr., a Lawyer or a Cop. lol She begged me to just go and meet him, so I did. Crazy thing is, while we were at the restaraunt, this guy that I had known for years came over to say hi and when he sat down, he looked across the table and saw DH and was like "Oh hi!" I said, "how do you two know each other??" It was DHs Uncle!

As far as skids? I don't think they came up at all the first night... then we went on a dinner date about a week later and I think they came up then, but it wasn't until about almost a month into "dating" that I found out that there were two BMs... I think that may have been a deal breaker if I knew that the very first thing.

At any rate, I love DH to pieces and he gave me our BS3 so I probably shouldn't complain. The baggage just sucks.

Oh Goodness! Please don't judge. I've known DH since he was about 3 years old (I'm 16 years older than him). And no, this isn't some gross pedophile thing. DH is the son of a friend of my first husband. The ex and I used to go to "keggers" at DH's dad's house. DH was always there, up past a decent bedtime, literally pumping the kegs for the group of 16-22 year olds that were hanging out. Very dysfunctional household. I was a kid myself but knew even then that he was being raised wrong.

20+ years pass. I've been married and divorced twice (I can't pick them but have been in therapy for the last ten years trying to fix myself) and have had my two sons. I was hanging out with a good friend of mine one night and we stopped in at a local watering hole. DH's dad was there and he mentioned that DH was there. I hadn't seen DH since he was about 7 years old! I gave him a big hug and said "well the baby is all grown up!" Left with my friend and didn't give it another thought. The next weekend I was on a poker run with my friend and who should be there but DH and his dad.

DH got my friend to the side and asked if we were an item. He said no. DH then asked me to dinner. I accepted. I thought if he had the guts to ask me out, an older established woman, then I had the guts to accept. I knew he had a son but after about 2 months of dating I noticed and mentioned that he didn't see his son very much. He said it was difficult with BM, etc. I told him I couldn't continue our relationship and take it to the next level if he wasn't a devoted father and actually tried to be a dad. He immediately started getting his son more often. Maybe I did SS7 a favor for coming into the picture and making DH see that he couldn't be a "when I feel like it" kind of father. Their relationship has blossomed but has been an emotional roller-coaster with BM drama and SS7's issues.

Do I regret DH? No. Would I have waited if I knew what was coming? Yes. DH's process of recognizing the dysfunctional aspects of how he was raised and learning literally from me on how to be a good parent has been a slow and painful process. I have been shit on more times than I can count just for helping, loving, etc.

I was visiting a friend and his wife one afternoon. While sitting on the patio, the doorbell rings and in walks this guy. Apparently he and my friend had known each other thru high school and kept in touch every once in a while. He and I were introduced (this was NOT a set-up, just coincidental) and about 20 min later I left.

The next morning my phone rings and this guy calls me by name, asks me if I know who it is (not a clue), and then proceeds to tell me he was the guy I had met the afternoon before. Damn that friend of mine, giving out my number like that! He said, "I just called to say hi." I said, "Hi" then gave my regrets but I had errands to run. He asked if he could call me again sometime and I said, "sure".

That evening was my son's birthday party... right in the middle of it my phone rings and it's him. Everyone (family, inlaws, etc) goes silent as I say, "this isn't a good time, I'm hosting my son's birthday party" Of course everyone was trying to act casual, but they all had their listening ears on.... considering I had been widowed for 2 years with nary a date or prospect up to that point.

He calls again the next day. And the next... and the next. For three weeks straight he called every single day, sometimes twice, and would email me notes. After many requests on his part and refusals on mine, we finally met one evening during the week for dinner.

It worked out pretty weird, as usually he worked 2nd shift, but for a 6-week period he was training for a new job so was working 1st shift. Had it not been for his new job, and our mutual friend (who has since been forgiven) our paths would never have crossed.

OK, no judging, right?

I was DH's boss. Yep, I was.

We were both with to our ex's when we met. I was actually hired in as the same position as DH, 2 weeks after he was. But was promoted quickly (within 4 months) and became his boss. I didn't know him that well when I got promoted, but remember when he and BM got married. I remembered thinking I had no clue he even had a girlfriend. He never talked about her and within a week of their wedding he took his ring off. I promoted him about 2 months later (he was really good at his job, honestly) and trained him for my position. At this point he and BM were already going through the divorce process (they were married a total of 6 months), and ex and I had been split up for a while ( 3 or 4 months, divorce in process). He needed a place to stay and my sister needed a room mate. We were good friends for a while. He obviously had met my kids and I met SS since he lived with my sister. We went to lunch almost every day with our coworkers. One day we were making our daily lunch plans, we decided we were going to one of our regular spots. When the rest of our lunch group asked whats for lunch he gave me a look and said "I have errands to run today I'm not going" I followed suit and said I had too much work I was just gonna grab something and bring it back. It was very surreal, we hadn't discussed this at all, it just happened. I suppose we both knew there was an attraction there. We both showed up at our regular place and had lunch just the 2 of us. Held hands had our first kiss right there in the middle of the restaurant.

We have been inseparable ever since.

ETA: I failed to mention that BM worked for the same company, in the building across the parking lot. She and my sister were in the same department. Needless to say, I went to my car every night expecting my tires to be slashed or my car to be keyed. Never happened. She was fired shortly after DH and I started dating. "Stress" from her divorced caused her to miss too much work. Wonder what her excuse was before he left her? She just doesn't like to work.

And again with the no judging...

He was my boss. The new school principal, I was the second year teacher. VERY small school; only like 100 kids k-12. I was good friends with the superintendent's wife. She calls one night and says, "They just hired your busband!" She went on to tell me he was recently divorced with three VERY young children. I told her she was crazy.

That was July. By the end of September, we were casually talking about more than school. His daughter was even in one of the classrooms I worked in, so we talked about her some.

One night I was on my daily 3 mile walk. Walked through a park in town. There he was with his kids- 2, 3 and 5. He obviously had his hands full, and I was a mess. He asked if I wouldn't mind helping for a few minutes. I discovered he lived one block over from me. By the middle of October we were secretly dating. he WAS my boss, in a small town. We revealed ourselves at the Christmas parade in December, and we were engaged in March. We married the next October. And that was 15 years ago.

And I love him as much now as I did then. There is no one else on this planet I would allow to drive me as crazy as he does....