I was talking with someone about how good the Skids were, and how freakin nuts the BM is. And this person basically said," well, if the kids are good, then the BM can't be that bad! You just have a problem with her!"

Uhm, no, bm is freakin nuts. She puts on "Mommy of the year" performance for everyone, and I am sure, in her own way, she loves the kids and tries to do right by them.... But. But. The kids already show that everything with he is not always great. They are afraid of her and her rages. At age 7, one was petrified to tell BM he'd had fun with us on a weekend. I recognize this sort of behavior, because I GREW UP WITH IT. My dad used to scare the shit out of me, and i tell ya what, I was a SUPER GOOD KID-- not cause pops was such a great parent, but because YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT WOULD SET HIM OFF. My bro and i used to describe our childhood as a minefield covered with daisies, our dad was happy and fun and a bit manic one second, and a second later he would be swinging, screaming, threatening. You didn't know if you would get a present or a slap. Now, I don't know for sure what BM is like at home. I know she doesn't hit the kids, but i know she screams at them, and that they are afraid of her losing her temper.

But that's even beside the point. Even if she WAS mom of the year to the kids every freaking day, she is a fucking horrible evil piece of shit to my DH. And, yeah, I am biased, because she emotionally devastates the man I love whenever she has a bug up her ass. But it's not me, making up some problem with a nice lady who just wants what's best for her children. This woman went on a year long crusade to try to try to get DH TO KILL HIMSELF. Before I met him, BM was trying very hard to convince him to commit suicide. I am not exaggerating, i am not overstating this. I have the emails and transcripts of the texts. She told him plainly, that she and the kids would be better off if he was dead. If he just "vanished" if he never called again, if he would just disappear from their lives. She said it would be best if he drove off a cliff. She told him he was worthless, he would never be a good father, he should probably just shoot himself. SHE SAID THESE THINGS TO HIM, KNOWING HIS BEST CHILDHOOD FRIEND HAD COMMITTED SUICIDE WITH A GUN, KNOWING HE WAS CHRONICALLY DEPRESSED. When I met him, we started off meeting through an online dating site, and I told him right off i was not ready to date for real, having tried a number of times and failed miserably, and in the first few messages i knew he was struggling. We had real life friends in common but had never met, so I insisted we get together with out mutual friends because he just sounded like he was going to hurt himself. We met as friends for months, and it was a long process for me and our mutual friends to bring him out of that dark place, before we ever considered dating. He says i saved his life, and i believe him.

But back around to the first bit. The kids are good kids. They are not perfect kids, they aren't even very well behaved kids, but they are good little guys, coping with a tough situation best as little kids can. And JUST BECAUSE THEY AREN'T EVIL SHITBALLS WHO MURDER KITTENS DOES NOT MEAN THEIR MOM IS A GREAT PERSON. Honestly, they aren't biologically related to her anyway, so why should they act like her? They were both adopted from Asia as infants. In face their "BM" as we call her here for convenience, used DH to get the kids, and left him the very week the second boy came home. DH raised the first boy for 4years, he worked the night shift and was the babie's main caretaker while BM worked (and had an affair behind his back). He got to see his second son for one week before she took both kids to her boyfriend's cabin on the lake and told DH she'd drained his bank account and that the second mortgage they'd taken on the house was defaulting. Yeah, she's a winner! I must totally be imagining what a wretched bitch she is.

Sorry, just ranting, I am pretty chill right now, but it bugged me to get into that discussion. "If your skids are so nice, you must be lying about how awful BM is"... Yeah!