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I can never win

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 8:30am

SD14 had a dance recital and it was a 20's themed event and the guest where asked to dress up. SD14 picked out our outfits. I told her my short black skirt doesn't fit and I may opt for my longer black skirt with the elastic band so I won’t be sitting uncomfortably. I wore a long black skirt paired with a black top with sheer sleeves that she picked out. Took the time to slick my hair into a bun and top it with a feathered hair piece. I even wore a boa. We watched her preform the first hour and a half and I had to go to the bathroom the baby was pushing on my bladder I could not hold it any longer. Afterwards she ran to BM and DH ran up to her with flowers and I complimented her and noticed her ignoring me giving me the stink eye. She had the audacity to pull me aside and complain that I tried to ruin her night by wearing that ugly skirt with flats not heels and jumping up in the middle of her number. Excuse me for having swollen feet and being pregnant. I let her know I did not have to come and support her and in fact that will be the last time I ever come. DH tried to stick his nose in it telling us to calm down it’s no big deal. It’s a big deal to me no matter what I could ever do she will find a reason to complain. I didn’t even want to go to the stupid thing anyways but DH pleaded with me.

I know what you are thinking. Porcelian when will you learn to just disengage. I know I know. Silly me actually trying to support her just to get it thrown in my face. DH was none too pleased with the way she acted and sent her to her room for the rest of the weekend. So of course she spent all of yesterday sulking around the house giving the stink eye and pouting. This is so dumb. Why do I keep letting her get to me? I'm spending my day in my new house waiting for the movers to come so I can show them where I want things to be. Just need a little space and focus on something productive. DH tells me I should be at home resting but what’s the point I want to get a move on and get this house ready not sit around their with boxes everywhere just waiting for SD to walk in from school stressing me out.

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 8:37am

I know what you are thinking. Porcelian when will you learn to just disengage
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
YUP

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 9:07am

I'm not teaching and I'm not you. I went before I got there but I had to go again and tried to hold it as long as I could. She wasn't even preforming when I went to pee another group was up and when I slid back in my seat her group was coming onto the stage.

I'm not in a good mood today and respectfully let you know I will not be replying to anymore of you comments and or questions.

alieigh21's picture

Submitted by alieigh21 on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 10:59am

Exactly, I will add that I had different experiences with my two pregnancies. She went because her DH asked her to and she had to go to the bathroom while there, big deal. As a mom of a child who danced for years, these recital can go on for hours. Unless she made a production out of getting up most rational people wouldn't see an issue with it.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 9:14am

lmfao - that was rudely inconsiderate!!! her class schedule came first before getting pregnant, her time and attention should've been focused solely on your class cuz your class was there first. hmph.

Wink }:)

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 9:59am

When I was pregnant I couldn't always "control" when I had to pee. Shoot, at the end I even wet myself once! And jumping up and down at 31 weeks- NO THANK YOU!!

She went, she was supportive, she did great. This is on the kid- not her. Once again a S-mom tried and the s-brats ruin all the efforts.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 12:22pm

Really? She should hold her pee (which by the way is NOT a healthy thing to do) in order to not perhaps offend a 14 year old? She is not at work, teaching a class, she is at an event, where most sane people, if they need to pee, quietly excuse themselves and go pee. Ive had 3 pregnancies-worked up to due date in all of them, and quite frankly if I had to go pee-I excused myself and went to the restroom.

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 8:54am

This is the same kid that bullies you in public, belittles your appearance, calls you names, compared you to a used tampon and invited her mother to your baby shower? Not to mention the 1000 other things you have posted on that this kid does to you, towards you, about you??

Porcelian: it's starting to look like you have a victim mentality. No matter how many times you get abused, your diving back in for more.

Stop participating in the cycle. It is hard to have sympathy for someone who keeps standing there allowing someone else to sucker punch them over and over and over and over again.

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 8:59am

You are right nothing is going to change unitl I change it. I'm not looking for sympathy and not trying to play the victim but I am annoyed with myself. I shoud not have even went no matter what DH wanted I'm really tired of being in this cycle. I agree with what you said.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 12:26pm

EEk! I forgot you where the one that was called a used tampon! I agree. Enough is enough here. I'm not so sure I wouldn't have told this young "lady" to eff off. If not literally, at least figuratively. She is a selfish brat, which yes, many teens are selfish by nature, and that's why they have adult figures-to put them back in line and teach them not to be selfish, rude self absorbed individuals!

By continuing to engage with her, participate with her-you ARE sending her the message that it is ok for her to act like an ass toward you. It is not. So either tell her quite frankly to her face or just disengage.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 9:42am

I agree, Porcelain. If DH wants you to go to these things so badly, then he needs to step up and ensure his kid doesn't treat you like garbage and treats you as you should be, with respect.

momagainfor4's picture

Submitted by momagainfor4 on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 9:37am

I think some ppl are missing the point... why the eff does a 14 year old think she has the right to confront an adult??

I mean you went out of your way to be there, tried to wear something close to ok for the show. Geeze, ppl have to pee now and again. It's not the end of the world. And your dh should be taking this kid by the ear and letting her know that you are not her property to BOSS around. Where do these kids get off??

Just let sd14 try to tell me what to wear or do.... she'll be picking her teeth up off the floor and so will bm. I don't play those games.

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 9:42am

Oh I get that.

This kid has always done that and neither father nor BM has ever done anything about it. Kid went from not wanting to live there to being there full time, likely just to screw with Porcelian.

However, it does not seem to matter how shitty this kid treats her, the lack of parenting on behalf of both parents, the verbal abuse, attitude, name calling, bullying etc: Porcelian goes back for more.

Until she refuses to take anymore nothing is going to change. Why should dad step up and PARENT if she will just continue on with the status quo and keep a smile on her face?

alieigh21's picture

Submitted by alieigh21 on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 11:06am

That's kind of what I was thinking. She has way too much control in the situation. I would not give a 14 year old control of anything I do.

momagainfor4's picture

Submitted by momagainfor4 on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 9:40am

I think some ppl are missing the point... why the eff does a 14 year old think she has the right to confront an adult??

I mean you went out of your way to be there, tried to wear something close to ok for the show. Geeze, ppl have to pee now and again. It's not the end of the world. And your dh should be taking this kid by the ear and letting her know that you are not her property to BOSS around. Where do these kids get off??

Just let sd14 try to tell me what to wear or do.... she'll be picking her teeth up off the floor and so will bm. I don't play those games.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 10:03am

Time for the full court agressive press IMHO. When she got stupid with you maybe a response of "Well, since I am pregnant and could not wear the skirt you wanted me to wear and I had to pee I could have just stripped the skirt right there and peed on the seat." Or better yet "If you could dance worth a shit maybe you could have kept my interest enough to keep me from leaving."

I like that one much better.

Time to start treating her like the ill tempered child she is and stop giving her any respect or credibility at all.

I would go to whatever Skid/family event I felt like. In fact I would go to them all. I would go, look great, be happy and confident and laugh in SDs face with a cutting shredding comment any time she let her brain disconnect from her mouth.

She needs to learn that confidence does not come from being mean to others, particularly in being mean to you. She is 14 and her confidence can be destroyed easily ... so destroy it and keep destroying it until she learns that her confidence needs to come from positive attributes and not being a lippy little bitch.

Basically the message needs to be that she keep her mouth shut until she grows up.

IMHO of course.

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 10:09am

Is there no end to this girl's malicious behavior? Sorry, but if I were her father, I would still have her shackled up "a la Black Snake Moan" for having sex in the park all those months ago.