Probably going to leave DH soon
The only thing that has kept me here is be cause I love SS so much that it would be as if I were leaving my own son behind. Im 22, have been with DH for 4 years and we've only been married a year. He's an asshole who doesn't appreciate anything that I do. Typical self centered DH.
I just miss what I'm missing out on. We broke up for a couple of weeks before he begged me back and I swear I was even breathing crisper air. I just drove back to my home state and lived a little and was HAPPY to be free of him and all of his lies, BM, and all else. I only ever cried over losing SS, who views me as his Mother. Got a job my first day/lined up to buy a business the next week.. total confidence boost. I miss it. I can't leave unless unless DH tells me to, be cause otherwise I may feel guilty later for leaving SS. I wanna go surfing, have girl friends, have GUY friends, work what ever job I want, go to parties, NOT BE STUCK WITH A BIG FAT JERK. He acts like he's gonna break up w me all the time lol Next time I'm just gonna start packing and not stop.
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it's your life, do what's
it's your life, do what's right for YOU
I agree, you are SO young
I agree, you are SO young (sorry - you probably HATE me saying that) But trust me. I have a stb24 yo and a 21 yo dd (as well as two younger ones) and if one of them was in your situation I would be telling them:
RUN.
You are WAY too young to tie yourself down to this man, he does not treat you with the love and respect you deserve. At your age you should be out having fun, living life, playing, seeing the world. Trust me on this, I had my first baby at 22 and THAT was way too young - do I regret my dd? NO. But I wish I had waited. Hindsight is everything.
Run away, take back your life, surf, have fun with your girlfriends, play up with the guys. Do not SETTLE for anything at this stage in your life honey. You have SO many years ahead of you to settle down, do the kid thing etc. If you are miserable already it won't change.
Please go out and live and do not give this man another moment of your time.
It's not the kid that is
It's not the kid that is tying you to the jerk. Get over it and run to where you are happy.
I almost just blurted it
I almost just blurted it out... I think I'll wait until I get my period in 2 weeks to make sure I'm not pregnant. I just want to live.
The air really was lol I
The air really was lol I remember driving to my home state, windows down, and breathing in deeply, remarking to myself the difference in even that.
You're right, thank you. I
You're right, thank you. I just want it to be over. Will be soon. Just pray I'm not pregnant and that it comes soon.
Why in the @#$% are you NOT
Why in the @#$% are you NOT taking precautions to NOT GET PREGNANT WITH THIS ABUSIVE MAN???? You need to check yo' self before you wreck yo' self!!!! Don't ruin your life, or your future child's life by making this POS his DAD. You AND your future kids deserve better. Hell, the WORLD deserves better.
Get smart. What you've been doing is NOT SMART. And you know it.
You have your whole life
You have your whole life ahead of you!! If you felt so much better when you left, then do it! You don't owe him anything, and your SS has parents that are responsible for him. My SD is 22, and the only thing she worries about in life is whether or not she can get tickets to the next EDM festival. At 22, you should be enjoying your life before getting tied down in all the responsibilities of life. (Ok, I realize not everyone has that luxury, and even I was on my own at 22, but it was still different than later on down the road with mortgage payments, kids, sick and elderly parents, etc.)
All very good points and
All very good points and trust me, I agree with you. Just every time I open my mouth to say it I think about SS yelling, "Mommy!" any time he needs anything. I really am his #1... It'll be over soon. I'm just waiting it out until something happens. Then I'll be free. Probably take a trip to CA or Costa Rica like I've always wanted.