Is this emotional immaturity?
I was looking at old FB posts the other day, and I noticed the pics I had posted on Valentine's Day. DH isn't very romantic, but can be prodded a little, so I had posted two pics from the Valentine's Day where he proposed to me. (He had put my ring in a heart shaped box of chocolates. He planned the evening perfectly...he made a vet appointment for the dog so that I had NO clue there was going to be any romance on his end!) Anyway, I posted those this year hoping DH would get the hint and be a little romantic with me this year. (It worked.) SD22 commented on those pictures saying that it's so cliche that DH did that. And she said that she "knows Dad better than you because she's known him longer, and he is not romantic at all. But she's glad to see that I've made DH softer and kinder."
I've just been thinking about that. My father has been dating lots of women since my mom passed 6 years ago, and I would never say to any of them that I know my father better than they do. I know him as my father, they know him as their "boyfriend" or lover or however they want to refer to him. I don't live with him, and it's just a different relationship. And I believe I know my father better than SD22 knows DH. Of course SD22 has technically known DH longer, but she hasn't lived with him in over 12 years (or spent one night in 
and she's not his confidante or lover.
Is this typical 22 year old thinking, or is she going to be making stupid comments like this throughout her life? This isn't the first time she's said something like that to me. She has said things like "I was there through the divorce, so I know just how mean Dad can be!"
I never commented back to her since it really isn't worth it. But now I can have these glimpses of the future where these comments will crop up. I know this is nothing, but I'm curious about those with adult skids and wonder if the relationships possibly deteriorated as they got older. That would suck.
BTW she's also turning into a failure to launch kid, living with BM and doing nothing but waiting tables and partying. DH claims he's done with trying to help get a real job.
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Then unfriend SD22 from
Then unfriend SD22 from facebook or dont put anything on facebook. I mean with FB people put stuff out there and may not always like the response they want to hear. If you are sensitive to others responses then dont put anything out there.
Simple IMHO.
Wow, that is pretty rude.
Wow, that is pretty rude. your SD may have known his father longer but she is no way KNOWS your Dh better than you... it's almost disturbing that she even thinks that way. It sounds like she's just to mark territory or something. My dads gf and I have never gotten along because she simply hates that fact that he has kids plus it doesn't help that my siblings and I are doing pretty well for ourselves and her kids are welfare drug addicts however I would never say this to her. I think what it comes down to is your SD is a jerk.
That's exactly it. You can
That's exactly it. You can know someone, or really "know" someone. An adult relationship is completely different than a parent/child relationship. I never intend to tell my children all my deepest, darkest secrets etc. Yeah, my SD is not the nicest of people. She has way too much drama in her life to be a "nice" person.
Meh shes jealous. She wants
Meh shes jealous. She wants to feel apart of something that is for you and DH.
Skids have tried this with me before. Knowing my DH and knowing the skids I dont think they really know him. Truly.
I know I can say I dont really know my own Dad (Has lived 6+ hours away for the past 16 yrs, wasn't around much when he did live closer)and def. not even close to how well my SM knows him as she has been his true confidant and partner for 16 + years.
I know my own BS8 KNOWS his dad better then my skids know their dad. 2 reasons- My ex is an open person, likes to talk, he's a sharer. DH is not. My BS likes to ask questions and really spend quality time with his dad. Skids do not.
I would just ignore her.
I never thought she could be
I never thought she could be jealous (of her Dad?!) but that's a possibility. It was Valentine's Day, and SM and Dad were obviously romantic with each other at some point...she probably wishes she had that for herself. Instead of being truly happy for her father, she tries to say to me that it's all fake. Nice.
I just dread the thought that
I just dread the thought that she could be saying things like that into her 30's. She's young enough now (and said really cutting things to me at 18) but I can picture it getting old.
*fingers crossed* she can experience some nicer relationships herself and grow up.
I don't think that's true for
I don't think that's true for all 22 year olds. Maybe her SD but I'm 22 though most days I feel like I'm 50. I also don't live with my mother or wait tables for a living.
When my SD was about 15, she
When my SD was about 15, she very snottily said to me, "Since you know him so much better than I do", or something like that. I didn't comment, either.
I think it's part immaturity and part jealousy (and my SD was angry at the time). At that point, I had been with her dad twice as long as she had lived with him. She was 4 when her parents split so she has very few memories of living with him to begin with and I'm sure that bothers her.
A lot of what she thinks she knows about my husband came from BM, so.....
She has not made anymore comments like that and she is 22 now, but she is not very outspoken so who knows what she is thinking.
Your SD apparently feels the need to remind you just who she is and that she was there first. Big deal, I say!
LOL about "she was there
LOL about "she was there first".
When she made the divorce comment to me, I couldn't help but think to myself that whatever she knew had to be influenced by BM. Discussed after the fact, etc.
Someday I may just say to her that it would be pretty disgusting/inappropriate if she knew him in many of the ways I do. That should shut her up!
It is immaturity and it
It is immaturity and it doesn't have anything to do with age.
MIL does this when she is mad at me. "I am his MOTHER, NO ONE knows him like I DO". Well lady, do you know how he likes his eggs cooked in the morning? Nope, he didn't eat eggs when he was young. Do you know what brand of underpants he wears NO, do you know what his shoes size is? NOPE. Do you know where he stashes every card and love note I have ever written him, in that place that he doesn't know that even I know about because he pretends that he isn't sentimental? NOPE. Do you know about the mole on his shoulder that I am concerned about, or the fact that he has to pluck the hairs off of his ears now? NOPE. You know why? Because you don't LIVE with him... I DO. I know all of his cute idiosyncrasies and all of his disgusting habits. You know what you know? NOTHING because he moved out of your house when he was 16. He has never even been to your house (in at least 4 years) and he doesn't share ANYTHING with you, because you are NUTS.
People like that can SUCK IT.
And to add to that... I know most of the above stuff about DH's grandfather MIL's DAD. She doesn't know those things. You know how I know. Because I took care of him when he was sick. Because I cleaned out his closet when he died and because I CARED about him, and not his bank account. You know what MIL knew about Grandfather. NOTHING. I am the one that told her he passed away.
Sorry... you hit it sensitive spot on this one
THIS is what I was wondering
THIS is what I was wondering it will turn into. Hopefully yours is more of a worst case scenario.
I consider my MIL anyone's
I consider my MIL anyone's worst case scenario LOL. She is a serious nut case. Hopefully in your case, she will grow out of this.
I think every relationship is
I think every relationship is different. I don't know certain things about my dad that my stepmother knows about (nor do I want to!
) but I know I can go to him for advice and support if I'm having a tough time. I know he will give me that unconditional love and support.
At least she works. A lot of people her age are living at home in this economy. It sounds like she's doing a lot of things many 22-year-olds do.
She is living at home with
She is living at home with her mom, and sat on her butt when she wasn't out partying every night until a couple weeks ago. I guess I'm touchy about that because at 22 I was working a full-time job, had my own apartment, and just bought myself a new BMW. I had been working full-time at a company that paid for my senior year in college. I moved out at 18 and even though I loved my parents, I was ready to be on my own. SD22 is so opposite of what I was. I honestly can't say if she's typical or not because I probably wasn't for whatever reason.
ROFL!! This is why I'm
ROFL!!
This is why I'm annoyed...adult relationships are clearly different than parent/child. This is why I wouldn't tell my father's girlfriends that I know him better. I do know my father well, but if they're intimate with him, well, I don't need to know him that well!
(Funny thing is that my dad has wanted to discuss his sex life with me and I had to put the brakes on that. He didn't get it that it was inappropriate for him to talk to his daughter about!)
OMG Right! I hear this from
OMG Right! I hear this from the skids. Not that to KNOW DH you have to KNOW his sex life but I want to know how many conversations have they really had with their Dad. Real conversations.
Exactly. We see her only a
Exactly. We see her only a handful of times per year, and really, how well can you know someone from FB or occasional texts? She never actually talks to him on the phone unless she is in dire need of money, but luckily that isn't frequent anymore. DH doesn't see her when I'm not around, and he really doesn't have any meaningful conversations.
Granted, your SD is 22 (but
Granted, your SD is 22 (but obviously immature) and mine was only 15 at the time, but I really did feel kind of bad for her. I know she got a raw deal and I know she wishes she would have had more time with her dad.
Oooh, that's a good one. All
Oooh, that's a good one. All so true too.
LMAO! It's not the length of
LMAO!
It's not the length of time that makes you know a person...
Hmm...along that train of
Hmm...along that train of that, length could be a good question to ask her as well! }:)
I agree she's jealous. She's
I agree she's jealous. She's just staking claim to her territory. I was married once previously and had a teen,early 20s daughter and whenever she'd get mad at me she'd say dumb stuff like this. Like she and her mom were my dh's real family because he was with them first. She and her mom have known him longer, blah, blah. Unfortunately for her she shared some of these kind words to me at his funeral which I simply didn't appreciate-so I agreed with her that yes, they were the first and yes, they had known him longer-and look what he did with that? Yep, he spent the last 10 years of his life with ME.
After his death, she would also write these creepy poems and leave them on his grave. Creepy, as in something you would write to a lover-meant to be, soulmates, and all that jazz. Really gross. It was simply her desperate attempt to establish a close connection with someone that in reality she did NOT have a close connection with.
Wow, that is creepy. Do
Wow, that is creepy. Do people who act like this have some mental issues?
I wonder if this comment is out of jealousy, and possible along the lines of "misery loves company". She makes a jab at me because she's unhappy? I've said to DH that I don't really believe she's going to be a very happy person in life. It seems she's only happy when she's partying, and her current lifestyle (going to EDM festivals every other day) is really not sustainable. Not sustainable unless she was independently wealthy lol.
Oh, she also posts things like "I wish I was a trust fund baby". Seriously, what a brat! How nice of you to bash your parents. I never "wished I was rich" since I was very little and wondered what it would be like. Sheesh.