Don't sweat this. You will know/figure out what to do to be the type of mother you want to be.

PS..and don't beat yourself up if you do not INSTANTLY bond with your child. A lot of mothers do not instantly bond with their kids but are too embarrassed to admit it. lol

But it generally does not take too long to make that bond. And once you do...it is awesome!

Like the others said, your instincts will kick in.

I battled infertility before I finally had children, so I even refused to look up how to care for a baby, afraid that it would bring bad luck. When we were in the hospital and my son's diaper needed changing, I freaked out. I had never even done that before. Luckily DH was there, and laughed at me for being scared to do that much, but he helped me, and that was a good start.

I didn't have any family at all to help, so it was a lot of figuring things out on my own. DH went out to get a breast pump for me as soon as we brought BS2 home from the hospital, and I was very nervous being alone in the house with him! But with every minute I spent with my baby, I felt more and more comfortable.

I think after you get over the major fear of the baby being so fragile (they're not as fragile as you think!) then you can relax a little and bond with your baby. In the hospital the nurses will help you bond. I'm sure you'll be fine, and head over heels for your little one!

Your instincts will definitely kick in. DH is the first guy I even dated, and BD just turned a month and a half.

I was actually scared that I wouldn't have any feelings for her because I really didn't feel any emotions towards the "thing" growing inside me during pregnancy, and also because I read that sometimes mothers of mixed children don't feel bonded to their baby because they look alien to them. I didn't feel much when she was born other than just robotic responsibility but within the course of this month and a half, I've become fiercely and passionately in love with this little thing.

I also worry about finding the balance between controlling and letting loose and honestly all I ask is that she be compassionate, understanding, and strong so that she is someone others can depend on. With these three goals, I figure out which actions work towards and which actions work against them, and don't do the things that go against.

I never thought I'd give in to the binky but I did. I held out for a full month but couldn't do it any more. I also never thought we'd have to drive around to put her to sleep but we do. Sometimes she's just OVER tired and can't fall asleep so she fusses.

At first babies are relatively boring (I think so any way) and it's an endless revolving door of poop and food. But when they start smiling at you and your DH and clearly recognizes you--your heart just freakin' melts.

I think all we can do is try our best.

Because DH and I have a strong relationship, and we communicate very well with each other, not many things changed. We work like a well oiled machine together because we both want to support each other. The only thing is that our schedule is a little more hectic than usual and we're a little sleep deprived but we work around that.

It's good to figure out which days your husband will take the nights and which days you will (if you're not breastfeeding of course.) This way you guys catch up on your sleep.

Best advice I was ever given: Take all the help you can get.

Here's my bit of advice. No one knows, really knows what their doing with their first child. It's okay you won't ruin the first one anymore than future ones. Everyone has advice and an opinion on how best to raise children use what works for YOU and the baby ignore the rest. Don't try and be superman and do it all, realize when you need help and ask for it be it the babies health, yours, sleep, breastfeeding, housework, etc. As long as you care about your child, don't over spoil them and as they grow teach them more ways to be independent healthy adults you'll be fine. And it's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them that's life. You'll be fine. I know I'm BM to 2 we're now counting days to my practice kid aka first child becoming an adult 67 days she turned out perfect as far as I'm concerned but I bet she wishes something's had been different.

The fact that you are worried already shows how much you care and love your baby! You will make mistakes, you will forget things, you will lose your mind a little during those first sleepless weeks. It's ok!!! You will be fine, just do what feels right and stop trying to figure out what is "right" from books or anyone but you. Only you, your husband and your baby know what will be right for your family

You're going to be fine! I felt the same way as you. I had never been responsible for anyone besides me. I'd babysat as a teen, but never a baby. I had never changed a diaper, burped a baby or made a bottle before I had my own kids. I had held other people's babies for brief stints before but always felt awkward and didn't know what to do when they cried (other than give them back to the mom). But when it's your own it's different. You will know what to do, or you'll quickly figure it out.

The nurses at the hospital taught me how to swaddle my baby, and a lot of hospitals have classes on baby care (how to diaper, dress, burp and bathe them). And they have breast feeding classes too.

Babies cry, they're supposed to, it's the only way they can tell you they need something. Sometimes you'll do everything you think they want and they still cry until you're crying along with them, but eventually they stop. And the constant crying is such a short amount of time in the scheme of things.

Don't worry, you will get the hang of it in no time.