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A Little History

K2thaP's picture

Submitted by K2thaP on Tue, 08/27/2013 - 6:39pm

Start off by saying I'm so glad I found this site! I'm really hoping the opportunity to vent and get some unbiased opinions and advice will help me cope with the position I'm in. I can't talk to SO abOut skids because he gets easily offended. So here goes with a brief history...Obviously he and I aren't married but we have been together three years now. I'm 25 and he's 35. I have no children of my own, he has 3. SD9, Ss8 and SD5. Needless to say I've got my hands full. He holds primary custody so that means they're with us 99.9% of the time. We're usually lucky if she (bm) gets em that .01% and let's us catch a day or so break.. she's been extremely flaky the entire time, he n I have been together and has Done things I'd hide under a rock if it were me.. I took on what I didn't realize would be full-on mommy mode within first Six months of being together. It started as me helping out with things like getting them ready for school, picking them up, etc etc and now has turned into me holding nearly all responsibility for everything! SO works 12 hr a day so he's not home till nearly 7pm. So wHo's got the kids, Toggling homework, making Dinner and giving baths? Yup, that b me. I do love my family but sometimes it really wears on me. So here I am in step talk hoping for some great adVice and to meet some ppl w situations similar to mine.

Comments

JennSunnySideUp's picture

Submitted by JennSunnySideUp on Tue, 08/27/2013 - 7:07pm

Welcome to Crazy Town!!! I know this site has taught me a lot along with giving me a private safe place to vent so I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me. You sound like a great person to be able to step in like that to help raise these children and I hope SO knows how lucky he is to have you!!

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Tue, 08/27/2013 - 7:48pm

You're doing everything to raise HIS kids & your not married or engaged...honey, you need to back that train up. Why on earth would you do that to yourself? You are so over-functioning your gonna burn out. I wouldn't do this even being married. These are his kids & he needs to raise them. Learn the mantra... Not my kid, not my problem.

K2thaP's picture

Submitted by K2thaP on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 6:04am

Thanks Jenn. Smile Lucky: At one time i feltl appreciated but it's starting to seem like a requirement instead of an option for me helping out. I get So annoyed. These are Some needy kids and its wearing on me. SIMI: I Think I'm already burnt out. But apparently that's a sin and I should never get that way as tho these were my kids. NOT! I've been thinking of withdrawing and trying to Figure out how to go about it. Afraid I'm in too deep. I love the kids, and they're not "bad kids" but a lot of times i think they take me for granted. Like I'm here as their personal chef maid and cheuffer. It's getting to me. Not to mention he's full blown Disney dad as well as no discipline for them and imo over Compensating for bm lack of doing anything. As far as not being married nor engaged, I'm giving him till Christmas holiday which my bday falls shortly before, to put a ring on it. Andif not , I may be singing beyonce. "If ya like it then ya shouldve put a ring on it". Cuz I'm near the end of my rope

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 9:52am

He had better be the most amazing, loving man in the world. I mean, honestly, that's a lot for a 25 year old to take on. I've a great guy. An amazing man. But I have since day 1 had the 'not my kid, not my problem' mantra and he knows it. I have 3 boys of my own and it's hard enough. But I can't imagine doing it at 25 and none of them are even my children. Don't let him take you for granted.