I got sarcastic with SS16, SO scolded me in front of SS.

Enraged, of course. After he scolded me in front of SS. Not the first time he's done this. He never scolds SS16 in front of me, he always talks to SS16 afterwards out of my sight.

SO and SS16 suddenly got all chummy and had a father son talk in the back room, which apparently I interfered with when I stopped in to say hello, I knew something was up. They have so much time together so many opportunities to talk and they never do. I leave both of them alone a lot on the weekends.

He told me I was not being the adult. told him in the future he needs to talk to me away from SS if he doesn't like how I talk to him. I'm so done right now. He was so condescending to me it wasn't even funny. SO is sarcastic with SS all...the...time.

F-ing a$$-hole. Was thinking about getting rid of my furniture in my storage unit. Guess I'll hang on to it.

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You will never get respect

You will never get respect from the skid if SO has no respect for you.

Thanks, oldone. He has

Thanks, oldone. He has respect for me as long as I'm not calling poor wittle SS out on SS' behavior. He was protecting his baby.

Thanks, ITS-OVER, he really

Thanks, ITS-OVER, he really is an ass fart. I told him that too, I didn't tell SO his son was an ass fart, but I basically said his son who doesn't like me just scored one against me.

IDK, I think it kind of

IDK, I think it kind of depends on how and what was said. If my hubby is talking to one of our children in a private chat (child or adult child)I keep my self away from it. If my DH is discussing aka lecturing, disciplining, the sort with one of them, I keep my mouth shut. Works the other way around for us too. If he's dealing with the kids, he's dealing with the kids. If they're arguing , it's their argument.

If I innocently walked into what I didn't know was a father/son private chat and one of ours had said something like 'do you mind' (with attitude), husband would call him on it right then right there. Disrespect isn't tolerated and isn't dealt with later. On the other hand if Dh and one of ours were having the chat and I stuck in a 2 cent attitude, DH would indeed turn to me and say 'you know, you're not helping here' and immediately basically dismiss me from the convo and room. Respect is a two way street. If I want respect from Dh in dealing myself with the kids, I have to give DH the respect of trusting he's handling the issue without me interfering.

Sure, occasionally I think DH is being too hard, or a downright jerk, but at those times I keep my mouth shut and DH and I discuss it later. If I opened my mouth on those occasions the kid would see a 'divided front'. Kid sees a divided front parents don't stand a chance. Kid will play one against the other.

But to actually 'scold' me in front of kids with more than basically just letting me know 'hey I've got this, but thanks anyway', never.

twoview, I totally agree,

twoview, I totally agree, normally I would have given them their space, but the jerk just scolded me in front of his son and afterwards, he and is son become all chummy chummy away from me and have a deep father son talk. They've had so many opportunities to do this. SO rarely hangs out with SS, and I'm off doing my own thing.

And I let them talk for a long long time, while I was alone at the dinner table eating my dinner that I cooked. it was already a really long talk. It's more the totality of the circumstances in this case.

But I agree, normally, I should let them have their talk. I'm very careful to try not to get between him and his son. I'm sure I should have stayed away this time as well, but I just got figuratively spanked in front of SS and it just wasn't a good time. Frankly, I think SS was getting off on the fact that his dad defended him against me, and well, lets have father son bonding time.

I actually asked SO, so it took a sarcastic remark from me to our son to finally get you two to have a real father son talk?

Now your stepson will NEVER

Now your stepson will NEVER treat you with respect. His father showed him that your not worthy of it

Yes very true^^^

Oh no Was he like thinking

Oh no Was he like thinking that you were being mean or what if I may ask?

Oh, yes, and in fairness, it

Oh, yes, and in fairness, it wasn't nice.

SS comes in griping that his dad's not going to cook anything tonight, SS is on his own. SS cops an attitude, and says "Really?" I chime in and say, SS, I cooked two meals this week already, and you had those opportunities but I guess my cooking is just too gross for you to eat. Don't want to eat it because it might have Onefoot cooties on it. Then SO says in front of SS, I don't like sarcasm!

I explained how I was tired of him dissing my cooking, and he has no problem eating what SO cooks and he compliments SO's cooking, etc. Not for me. SO tried to make excuses, blamed BM again, as he always does, and I said, okay, that's why he doesn't like mac and cheese, but he doesn't like anything. gotta go, SO's here. more later.

Apparently I'm locked out of

Apparently I'm locked out of the garage, and SO won't tell me why, I left the house for an hour and came back, can't get my car in the garage. WTF.

Ah man he is being a tird! I

Ah man he is being a tird! I would have told him "well if you were doing your job as a parent..then I wouldn't have had to resort to saying anything at all..!" Hearing that makes me want to put a strap on, stick it where the sun don't shine, and donkey punch him! I'm sorry you are dealing with that, just sad. Heck just start cooking for yourself but don't let them push you around like that.

I don't know. I wasn't locked

I don't know. I wasn't locked out of the house. There was no power to the open switch inside the garage. I didn't check to see if it was unplugged so I guess I'll never know what happened. It works okay now.

SO was so evasive when I asked him if he messed with it it made me suspicious.

I actually don't care if he

I actually don't care if he doesn't eat my cooking. I just don't want to cook for him at all. I dont want him treating me like a ghost and then benefitting from my time an efforts. Its a two way street. SS is so passive that's his way of asserting himself, flipping me off or whatever, he's really not that bad of a kid, I don't think. But he has problems and he's not a typical teenager. I live with him every day, I know.

And as far as the sarcasm, my SO is one of the most sarcastic people I know. He uses it with his son all the time. I actually think he's quite mean sometimes. Its way worse than what I said, I would never go as far as he does. SO just got defensive an was protecting his baby. Sarcasm is my way of coping, getting the message across to a kid with whom I have absolutely no authority. and it wasn't that bad in this case but I respect your disagreement with that. And yes, it could have been handled better. Believe me I've tried taking the high road, I don't get taken seriously when I do.

And I'm tired of being calm and rational. I'm mad as hell.

"I actually don't care if he

"I actually don't care if he doesn't eat my cooking. I just don't want to cook for him at all. I dont want him treating me like a ghost and then benefitting from my time an efforts."

I can totally understand this one. Time for Dad to take over the cooking evening meals. Maybe Dad can even have the 16 year old help fix dinner. Kid is going to grow up and be on his on one day, he's got to learn to feed himself (unless SS thinks a woman will always take care of him :O or he intends to zap and/or fastfood it all his adult life).

My 13 year DD fixes DH and I dinner about once a week (she wants to, she doesn't have to). When I had to be gone last winter for 3 months with my mother's health issues, DD and DH did dinner every evening. And then of course there's the evening nobody wants/is in the mood for the same thing. These nights are fend for yourself nights.

Your SS should be doing things like his own laundry also. I'm a mother, not a maid . I'm not a short order cook either.

Save your cooking skills for days your SS is absent. If you really want to eat something besides whatever DH/SS made for dinner, learn to cut down amounts to cook for one or two (you can do leftovers for lunch). If SS treats you as you don't exist, well then don't exist for the little sh*t. But with that said, DH needs to be sure SS is civil in your presence to you. You don't have to be best buddies, but manners and polite behavior are expected. I'm sure through the years SS has had a teacher or two he didn't 'like'. I bet SS didn't get away with ignoring that teacher or slapping attitude at the teacher. Why should you be treated any less civil?

And as an aside, if SS locked you out of the garage last night I would certainly hope DH nails SS on it. That's beyond something I would tolerate or stay quiet about. Brat would apologize and lose privileges for x amount of time.

Thx twoviews. Thing is, we

Thx twoviews. Thing is, we have SS full time. And it looks like he may not even want to visit BM this summer since he's decided he wants to physically fight his stepdad (long story).

What SO really wants is for me to cook and allow SS to eat it it or turn his nose up at it, his choice. Some people don't find this insulting and that's fine, but I do. I'm not going to put myself in that position to be insulted. However I still plan on cooking for myself. If SO wants what I'm cooking, he can ask me to make him something. Otherwise, he and his son can eat their cheap steaks drowned in salad dressing. At least thats the plan. I'm so angry and I'm so tired of this.

My husband has tried that

My husband has tried that crap with me insisting I apologize to the teen age skids about things that are ridiculous. I have told him there is no way that I will EVER do that and I have said that infront of him and the kids. I am a freaking adult that pays the bills and they are kids, deal with it. I have told him in private that he undermines my authority when he does that and that if the situation was on the other foot he would not be issuing an apology to them.

Sweet T, Yeah there will be

Sweet T, Yeah there will be no apologies here.

My only apology would be "I'm

My only apology would be "I'm sooooo sorry that you are an effing a-hole."

I was ALWAYS being yelled at

I was ALWAYS being yelled at for some "infraction" in front of Guilty Daddy's "angels" and this was when they were 10 and under! One time they even JOINED IN with the verbal beatdown. What a HEARTWARMING BONDING SESSION! Just Daddykins and his three thin-lipped peccaries saying "Yeah, why don't you LEARN TO DRIVE?!" coming from the mouths of a 9, 7 and 3 year old.

Wonder why they NEVER respected me. . .