SS treating me like a ghost again, and not eating anything I cook.
I can handle SS16 treating me like I don't exist and like I'm not in the room. I really don't care as long as he doesn't expect to benefit from any of my efforts. Mainly cooking. The boy has refused to eat most of what I cook.
And that's fine too, but soon enough I'm going to make homemade pizza, crust and sauce made from scratch and he'll want to eat it and I don't want to let him. I'm tired of SS treating me like most of my cooking is disgusting and only picking and choosing what he wants on a rare occasion.
In his defense he's no where as bad as some kids on here. He's very passive and would never openly disrespect me. But refusing to even acknowledge I'm in the room comes off as hostile, and then eating 1% of my cooking pisses me off. What kid doesn't like elbow macaroni with velveeta cheese sauce? Really?
And I want to start baking this weekend and I don't want him to eat any of it. What SO doesnt eat goes to my office.
SO tells me over and over how much he likes me cooking for him. But I'm at the point that if SS snubs 90% of my cooking, he shouldn't eat any of it. I can't help it that's the way I feel. I don't think he should get to pick and choose what he eats, it's insulting. Either he starts eating most of what I cook or he doesn't eat any of it, even the stuff he likes, even if I make his favorite desert. My cooking my rules.
I don't plan on making a big pronouncement to SO, it will only cause a huge rift. I might mention something, some comment to let SO know I don't appreciate SS' feeling of entitlement (caused by SO) to just pick and choose which meals he's willing to eat. And then SS will eat most of what his dad cooks, and say how great it is. it's getting old.
I normally stay out of all parenting, I leave SS alone for the most part. But when it comes to my cooking, which I'm happy to do for SO, I can't seem to let it go. I tried disengaging and just letting SO cook. But I really like to cook, I like my own cooking, I miss my own cooking, and I like feeling appreciated for my cooking, I like cooking for other people. And I don't want SS taking that away from me. And SO's tired of cooking all the time.
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I get it! Notice my
I get it! Notice my username...I come by it honestly! }:)
That's why your handle is my
That's why your handle is my favorite! Fortunately I don't have any serious problems, but this is an ongoing one and a sore spot for me.
IT'S-OVER I'm right there
IT'S-OVER I'm right there with you. I have become a bitch. How did everyone react when you said that? Definitely going to make the small pizza.
Justanother, good idea. If I
Justanother, good idea. If I do the two juicy steaks SO will immediately know what's up because SS loves steak. SS will be pissed, and SO will be a little miffed too. But I'm at the point now where I dont care. And I'll get the good cuts, not the cheap cuts that SO always buys and drowns in salad dressing.
I would do the same as others
I would do the same as others suggest and just make enough for you and dh. I think the explanation that he doesn't eat what you make any other time led you to believe that he prefers to make his own meals and leave it at that.
You're right. Letting my
You're right. Letting my feelings out to SO is not a good idea. He'll get the message if I do what everyone's suggested.
I hate this... my SD10 does
I hate this... my SD10 does the same thing but since she is only 10 I can't really not feed her. I thought about setting about some bread and peanut butter out at every meal and just not serve her our food, but then I think why should I even go to that much bother to accommidate her??
I too think it is very rude and disrespectful. I like to cook as well and my DH loves my food, so I don't know if she is just being a little biotch or if she is so used to eating McDonald's and mac n' cheese that she doesn't know what real food is.
She also is very passive-aggressive with her disrespect. She won't outright say she doesn't like something (everything) but then she will go and text (she uses my DH's tablet to text, and he saw it) BM how nasty dinner was... nice!
SO recently got primary
SO recently got primary custody of SS. For years BM raised him on the dollar menu at McDonald's.
I go through this as well. I
I go through this as well. I am in the "eat what was cooked or go without" group and my SD9 hates most things I make. Sometimes she will eat it without making a face, most times she picks at it.
Earlier this week I made something and we were all eating and I asked her if she liked it and she said No, not really. I had to laugh at her directness because she is usually so passive aggressive about this stuff. She didn't eat it and that was all she had available until the next morning. Didn't bother me at all.
DH used to want to give the kids the option of making a sandwich if they didn't like what I cooked. Ummm, hell fucking NO. I said the day you do that is the last day I cook in this house. He knew I was serious and dropped it. Hahahaha
That's what I really want to
That's what I really want to do, but SO would overrule me on that one. SS can grill himself a hamburger or heat up a taquito. He actually has some skills limited to the grill and the microwave. And I'm fine with that, as long as SS doesn't eat what I cook, even if it's his favorite.
Okay...strategizing.... I do
Okay...strategizing.... I do a lot of freezer cooking, most of which SS doesn't eat so I'm good there. But what if I make a pan of lasagna? How to I keep SS from eating it. It's hard to make small portions of that. What's a good explanation?
I'm thinking of doing my own grocery shopping, paying for my own food and saying I'm cooking for SO and for my lunches for the week. I like to take leftovers to the office for lunch.
Thanks Ladyface. Perfect.
Thanks Ladyface. Perfect.
Thanks, Rising. It's so hard
Thanks, Rising. It's so hard for me to identify the disrespect when SS is so passive. He's improved a little. At first I would greet him and he wouldn't respond. Now he at least responds when I greet him. But he never greets me. If I walk into a room and say nothing he'll usually ignore me. Not even say ' hey, one foot. ' it's rude but Im used to it. But I still don't want him to eat my cooking if he treats me that way.
Or he'll talk to his dad as if I'm not even standing there. After he came back from BM's there was a week where he must have changed personalities because I came back from my bike ride and he asked me if I enjoyed my ride? Whoah. And the same week he actually said something nice about my cooking. But now he's back to his old ways. He doesn't even come out of his room anymore because he's allowed to play endless x box until school starts. (I'm of course fine with that).
What I'm getting at is it's not every single time, but it's getting worse when I thought it was getting better. I'm tired of always having to be the one to initiate. SS needs to learn to initiate if he wants my cooking. He's a teen so I don't expect him to kiss my ass. That would be weird. But he needs to learn that he doesn't get what he wants from me unless he makes the effort to be civil. It is not my job to cook for him and he needs to be contantly reminded of that.
sd20 tried this shit with me
sd20 tried this shit with me a few times. i'm sure she was trying to irritate me, and she did, but when i look at the big picture, i really don't give a shit if she eats what i cook or not. as long as it's not getting wasted. she would eat my cooking just fine for years. then when she moved in here at 16, she tried to be the queen of the house and did everything in her power to piss me off and defy me. foods that she used to eat just fine, she would suddenly make gagging noises at while i was cooking. real fucking mature. pick at her plate and waste most of it.
if fdh cooked something, she would scarf it down with glee, always exclaiming about how "amazing" it was. SO fucking funny when i made dinner one night, but she came in the kitchen while he was stirring something i had going on the stove and she assumed he made the meal. went on and on about how "amazing" it was to dad. she shut her trap real quick and didn't say another word about it and lost most of her eating gusto when she found out dad had nothing to do with it, this "amazing" meal was prepared by ME! }:)