BM finally showed her colors
We had a court date today and our attorney has told us for years to just be patient because BM will someday show her true colors for the world (or at least the judge) to see. Well today was the day. BM acted like a total cocky *itch on the stand. When asked if she believed it was important for SD9 to have extra visitation time with DH, her response was (more than once) "no, because that takes time away from me." I looked around to make sure I heard her right. I think the judge was doing the same thing. OMG!!!! We live in a state that requires the custodial parent to give liberal visitation to the non-custodial parent. We have lived for years with the bare minimum and continue to fight for more time with her because we know BM will never give DH time that wasn't specified on the court order. But we honestly never thought she would open her mouth and tell the judge that she was blatantly disobeying a state law. And to top it off, we had several friends and family members in the courtroom supporting us. It was great for them to hear the same craziness we have been dealing with all of these years. Sometimes I think people don't believe us, assume we are overdramatizing or are just bitter because she has custody. Nope, she's hateful and vengeful and she just forgot to hide it behind her mask today. :jawdrop:
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What did the judge say?
What did the judge say?
Well unfortunately we didn't
Well unfortunately we didn't get to wrap it up today. BM's attorney was treating the case like we were going for custody so it dragged on for way too long and they didn't get to all of their witnesses. The judge did chastise BM about 5 times for not answering the questions. For instance, the question would be "Do you agree that it would be beneficial for SD9 to spend more time with DH?" She would answer "I do believe that SD9 should spend time with DH." She wouldn't answer the question about more time. The judge finally got frustrated with her and asked her point blank. That's when she responded with the quote above.
Oh and I forgot to mention that BM has decided that SD9 should testify. They didn't get to her today. OMG!!! What kind of mother puts her 9 year old daughter in that position? Unfortunately because BM is the custodial parent, all we can do is sit back and pray it doesn't cause SD9 too much trauma.
Well, what BM doesn't know is
Well, what BM doesn't know is that SD9 told me that BM was coaching her on what to say. DH and I told her that, no matter what, she has to tell the judge the truth. The sad thing is, I'm not sure SD9 knows what the truth is. She is a peacemaker (like her father) and so when she is with mom, she tells mom whatever makes mom happy. In our case, that means negative things about DH and our family. When she's with DH, she tells him what she thinks he wants to hear, which is that she is telling her mom that she enjoys spending time with us, is well taken care of, has fun, etc.... The poor girl will probably just break down and cry and they won't get anything out of her.
And I can't believe our judge is allowing it. When we found out, we were livid. But again, out of our hands.
My state doesn't allow kids
My state doesn't allow kids to testify, I can't believe the Judge is allowing this child on the stand! Shame on the Judge!!!
Any other time I might agree
Any other time I might agree with you, but SD9 is living in a Jonestown environment and the only thing that can save her is more time outside of the compound. That's why we re here!!!!
Good for you guys then. Very
Good for you guys then. Very thoughtful and caring to be doing this
I had no idea they put
I had no idea they put witnesses on the stand for visitation issues. Is there more to this case? (Not trying to be a jerk, just trying to understand).
Nope, there's no more to the
Nope, there's no more to the case. This is just BM's way of trying to get at DH. Through her own daughter. We were dumbfounded by it as well.
We are amazingly lucky
We are amazingly lucky because our attorney knows what we are up against and he cuts us some slack in the fee department, but it's more the stress that gets us. Our state family court system is broken.
We've gone around on this
We've gone around on this hamster wheel twice about custody. We had every freaking witness you could think of. BM called in the principal and all her little friends. The first go around BM brought in her little friends, boy friends and sister. She even tried to get a therapist to testify but that got thrown out.
BM got her everyone to lie on the stand for her too!
What keeps us going is that
What keeps us going is that every time we leave the courtroom, we end up up with more time with SD9 which means less time with psychotic BM. I'd consider letting go otherwise. I can't imagine what this child's life would be like if she were left in crazy town every day.