OT/Cell Phone Tapping & Worried about my Good Friend
I was wondering if there are any cell phone savvy steppers on here that can answer a question for me.
My neighbor is a sweet single mom of a 7 year old and 4 months ago became involved with a local police officer that was going through a rough divorce. Basically, this guy has taken advantage of my neighbor in every way since they first met.
My neighbor (I will call her Tina) is one of those women that you can't help but respect. She got pregnant young worked her way through college has a great job and provides a great life for herself and her daughter. We become good friends over the past two years we have been neighbors.
One thing that I have noticed about Tina is that she is very naïve when it comes to relationships and men. She is one of these women that really enjoy having someone pay attention to her or someone that she can take care of. In the past 4 months Cop has basically moved into her small apartment. She does all of his laundry buys him food, packs his lunch, pays all the bills you get the idea. At first she admitted she was too proud to ask him for money to help with the additional expense of basically supporting another adult in her home. He told her that since he is still married and his wife will not sign the divorce papers that he is still responsible for paying all of the house hold bills plus CS for his two young children. Basically, he gave her this sob story and she took him in.
They have only been out on two dates in 4 months. Both times where at bars far away from our area. I always suspected that he didn't want to be seen with her but didn't know how to dampen her enthusiasm. She also told me that haven't had sex in two months!!
My DH and I have been worried about this situation for awhile. We both saw how cold Cop can be and one day DH saw him snap at Tina's 7 year old while she was outside playing with our DD5. It really ruffled DH because Tina’s daughter and our DD5 are good friends she we have daughter over a lot to our home for movie night or for pizza etc.
FF to last night. Tina is outside the apartment smoking and I ask her how her day was and she just started to cry. She told me that she finally saw how he was taking advantage of her and how used and stupid she feels. I told her that I always had reservations but she is a grown women and I tried to stay neutral. It was her sister that was visiting form out of town that finally shook some sense into her. Cop also buried himself into a deep whole. Tina works very hard to send her daughter to the same private school that she graduated from. Obviously it is an additional bill each month but it is important to her so she makes sacrifices other places in order to do this. When Tina started talking to Cop about how she needs help with groceries and the huge increase in her electric bill he said two things that ticked her off. The first was I will help you until you get on your feet. No ass she has been on her feet you are causing her to dip into her savings because she is supporting you. The second was he asked how important it was to send her daughter to a private school when she can just go to public. It was then that Tina realized how much he didn’t actually care for her. She told him he needs to be out of her place by Thursday. I think he is a grown ass man and he needs to be out yesterday. Sorry to say but his car was parked out front this morning.
Cell phone advice needed. Tina is pretty sure that her cell phone texts are being tapped. Cop has brought up several things that she had spoken to her sister about only in texts. At first she thought it was a coincidence but after a few times she really believes that he is getting her texts sent to him some how. Is there any way that she can check this? I wasn’t sure and DH wasn’t sure. DH is going to do some research also for her. She also stated that he is checking his email from his phone shortly after she receives a text.
I am really worried about Tina and I am afraid for how things are going to go down at the end of this week. I hope she sticks to her gut feelings and makes his ass get out. I have a feeling he is not going to loose his sweet set up and will manipulate her into allowing him to stay.
- HappyCow's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Does she have a smart phone?
Does she have a smart phone? I have heard there are programs that will forward texts to email. If she doesn't have a straight talk phone she needs to go to her wireless carrier and see if they can check the phone for "spyware". She may want to get a cheap prepaid phone and use that to text on and not let him know about it. Either way she needs to shoehorn him out this very minute since he is obvioulsy controlling and abusive. These are the little signs on the downhill slide into total abuse.
My DH has a program that
My DH has a program that sends his texts to his computer. I think Cop is doing something like that. I would advise Linda to call her cell phone company, as realitycheckmom said. But if he just signed himself up with her account, there may not be spyware. She may have to change her number.
You are right to be worried for her, because I do not think that this is going to end well at all. I am glad she saw the light, but I hope he does not pressure her into "keeping" him. If he does leave, I hope he does not try to use his influence as a cop to scare her or bother her. This is such a shame.
The more I think about it the
The more I think about it the more worried I am for her and her daughter. I will tell her to call Verizon when she gets home tonight. Sure as heck am not going to text her! DH and I both are worried about them. He is one of those people that just gives you bad vibes when you talk to him.
Every night that DH comes home Tina's daughter runs out to meet him at the mail box and they talk about thier day. Daughter has not had many men in her life and really enjoys talking to DH. DH told me the other day that daughter told him she doesn't like when Cop is there because he is always irratated at her. DH was going to find a way to tell Tina and I think he still should. I didn't hear the conversation so I think DH should bring it up to her.
The only thing we can do at this point is be supportive. I just wish that Tina's daughter wasn't involved I feel really bad for her.
This will be a good learning
This will be a good learning experience for your friend, and she won't be so naïve in the future. Present it to her that way. Live and learn, etc. It is very difficult for kind honest people to understand the way the mind of a user or con man works.
She should put his stuff out, change her locks, and get a new cell phone # if she can't verify that her phone is clean. The phones can be reprogrammed, password protected, etc. She just needs the tech support from her provider.
When he's gone, she will feel so relieved.
http://www.buzzle.com/article
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/characteristics-of-a-controlling-personal...
I'm assuming this is a smart
I'm assuming this is a smart phone.
First, you should do a factory reset. This is a option somewhere in the the settings. If you need help finding it for the specific model phone in question, let me know. This will remove all downloaded apps from the phone and restore all the settings to how they were originally.
Next, set up a password/PIN of some sort so he can't get into the phone.
If she has an android phone she should also change her gmail password. (A gmail email address came with the phone.) The Google Play app store can be accessed through a browser on a computer, and if someone knew your login information he could remotely install an app on your phone! I don't think the apple app store works this way, but I'm not sure.
I don't think there is a need to call the phone company or change her number at this point. She could also take her phone to Verizon and they could help her with all this.
There absolutely are programs
There absolutely are programs out there that will forward text messages to either another phone number or an email address. The ones that are on the apple app store and google play all show up on your phone, but there are others available for purchase on the web that would be difficult for her to find. There are also programs that record all phone calls and either save them to your phone or save them to the cloud.
Oh jeez, what a mess. Are you two close enough that you would be willing to help her in an emergency? All I keep seeing in my head is a crazy, obsessive, controlling cop whose other cop buddies are going to back him up no matter what.