While we are on the topic of food...
DW asked me the other day to get food so that SS can make himself a lunch when he finally comes over from his Dad's. I did that once and the food got wasted. You see, because SS stays up late, he gets up late. Last night he was up until 1am and he slept in until noon. So when he wakes up - in his mind - it is breakfast time, not lunch time. So he makes himself a large bowl of cereal and that's it. He doesn't eat again until supper time (and even then he doesn't eat).
Today DW asked me again if I could pick up some lunch time food so that SS can make himself some lunches. I didn't respond. I was already late for work and didn't want to start another argument on why I didn't want to spend money on food that is going to be wasted.
We are leaving in a few days and I am starting to dread this trip. SS's sleep schedule is totally off and he doesn't eat properly. I have budgetted a certain amount of money for meals. If SS doesn't eat, he's not going to get a snack later (at least, not with my money).
How do you guys handle issues with meals and snacks on family trips? Already DW is making a list of things to buy that I don't want to get because I know SS is going to snack on those the whole time and not eat at meal times.
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Either I eat SS's leftovers
Either I eat SS's leftovers for lunch the next day, or if it's something he's had before and he's just being a little asshole, I save it so he can eat it later.
Merry Christmas little guy. Thought you were getting out of eating this? Hahahaha.... good luck with that.
Depends on what kind of trip.
Depends on what kind of trip. Usually we do a later breakfast/brunch and a early dinner to cut down on costs. Then we pack snacks to munch on in between and go for an ice cream later in the evening for dessert. We would break the bank paying for everyone to eat out three full meals and buying snacks too.
We give the kids choices. You
We give the kids choices. You can have x or y, not what do you want. We would have your same problem.
7ofus, I totally relate to
7ofus, I totally relate to what you are saying. When SD still lived with us and I would make spaghetti, I made garlic bread sliced (frozen, you just heat up). SD would only eat the soft outer part and leave all the hard crust area, and DH would say she should have two because what she ate of the one wasn't very much. Um, not my problem. She got the same as everyone else, if she wants it she should eat it.
>I am not bending the rules
>I am not bending the rules just to avoid hurting feelings<
This is EXACTLY where DW and I differ. I am not above being "mean" to make sure my kids learn good eating habits. My BS is 4 and he has already learned that it is just easier to eat what is on his plate than to cry about it. The one time he started crying, I scooped him up, marched with him fireman-style into his bedroom, deposited him on his bed and said "Cry in here all you want!" and closed the door. Two minutes later, I let him back out. Hasn't cried at the dinner table since.
SS? At 13 the crocodile tears still work on DW.
SS does that with steak and
SS does that with steak and pork chops. I kid you not, He'll cut out a 1-inch square out of the center and claim the rest is "fat" and he cannot eat it. DW still has to cut his meats in order to get him to eat it. The kid is 13 for crying out loud!
SS is really skinny too. DW
SS is really skinny too. DW says he is "cut". Forgive me if I am wrong, but doesn't "cut" mean you actually HAVE muscles? He can't lift anything heavier than 20lbs and if he runs one block he tries to convince us he is having an asthma attack!
I'm sorry, but if I can see your rib cage, you are WAY too skinny - like Auschwitz-victim skinny!
giggles - he's not as bad as
giggles - he's not as bad as MSS. he's also 13. cannot operate a microwave or a knife. had to have DH nuke one of those frozen little pizzas, then have DH come cut it for him cuz "i dont know how to cut it, i've never used a pizza cutter." (this is a 6" pizza...) "so use a regular knife." "i dont know how, no one's taught me how to cut pizza with a knife."
:jawdrop:
straight a student with all the booksmarts in the world, but NO common sense - cannot figure out how to operate a knife. wow....
my 4 year old can use the
:jawdrop: my 4 year old can use the microwave and uses a knife to cut things up.
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Lol, I'm 21, married, about
Lol, I'm 21, married, about to have my second child, and my mother still will occasionally cut up my meat when she serves me. I learned how to use a knife when I was 8 (I'm a born klutz and Mom didn't want me chopping my fingers off).
We always bought specific
We always bought specific snack items for trips. FDH always had a small bag that was full of snacks for the car (small jaunts require snacks too). It is harder with a teenager but I was never picky that they eat specific stuff and each meal. Cereal is eaten any time and sometimes we grill hotdogs and hamburgers for breakfast (usually if we don't eat until 10 or so. It just depends on the day. As long as they are eating somewhat balanced meals I try not to get too bogged down on what it is.
Have you tried just talking to your SS and asking what he wants or taking him to the store and getting his help? This is an excellent time to teach him about nutrition.
As for the sleep schedule, it is a pain but enforce a bedtime. You have no problem taking power cords so pick it up at night. Call your SS several times a day to wake him up. It gets annoying and eventually they cannot go back to sleep. (My mother still does this occasionally when I want to sleep in. UGH!
>you tried just talking to
>you tried just talking to your SS and asking what he wants or taking him to the store and getting his help?<
I tried that. It doesn't help. I bought him to the store with me once to get him to help choose food stuffs he wanted for his school lunches. Last day of school, DW went to the school to help SS clean out his locker. Guess what was inside? About a month's worth of school lunches...Half of it was now stale and the other half was unidentifiable.
This is what pisses me off. Had I done that back in the day, my Dad would have tied me to the electric chair and Mom would have thrown the switch. What does SS get? "Now, now SS. You shouldn't do that, that is wasteful...Okay you can stop pouting and give Momma a hug."
Well we pack only what we
Well we pack only what we want them to eat. Only my Skids are easy bc they like the oranges, apples, a banana, sandwiches, juices, and such. So for junk food, we add chips, or a candy bar, soda, and they eat everything we packed. Our all time favorite meal is meat, cheese, and crackers with a cup of fruit on the side.
We all prep the meals together too. Skids know what to expect and are quite happy with that.
My young bios do well with a
My young bios do well with a Banana or an apple, juices and maybe the odd cheesestick. With SS, it's actually full blown "meals" as snacks. Nutella/peanut butter sandwhiches, a pint of milk and cookies for the dessert-snack.
Calling SS a Hobbit is like
Calling SS a Hobbit is like calling a pirahna a picky eater.
One time, SS put on his FB status "I'm on a See Food diet. I see food I eat it."
I asked SS what does that mean, since he does NOT eat anything he sees. He said "yes I do!"
Oh ReallY?
I marched to the fridge and whipped out a bag of Samosas I just bought
"What's that?" SS asks
"It's food!" I replied. "Since you 'see it' you have to eat it now...."
Apparently "See food" only applies to food he actually sees, recognizes and likes....Oh! NOW THE JOKE IS FUNNY!!!
I didn't pack snacks for DD
I didn't pack snacks for DD until FDH told me I needed to. I had no clue. Of course SS9 still needed snacks when we got together so that is how it got started in our house. I did finally realize that I tend to forget to eat when I am on the go and forget that DD may need to eat and sometimes she forgets like I do. It is just easier now to have some snacks when we run errands. Besides that I never know if I am going to get called in to work or some relative will call and want us to stop by. If it is my mom it is no problem but anyone else does not DD appropriate food in their house and I am embarassed to say "hey what have you got to eat?".
My mom is always gone all day running errands and appointments so DD gets a lot of fast food when she hangs with her. I need to pack that woman a snack bag too.
For a family of 5, 3 of them
For a family of 5, 3 of them boys, I budget $150 a day for food. That is about what it costs if not more.
In my house, meals and snacks
In my house, meals and snacks are planned for the family. I don't buy/cook anything beyond that. If the skids don't want to eat what I cook, they don't eat .. and that includes snacks and desserts.
If I were in your situation, I wouldn't change my approach. I plan meals and snacks for each day. If skids don't want that, too bad. They won't get snacks either. For trips I typically buy things that are not easily wasted or are easily stored/reheated. I'm not sure what your trip accomodations consist of, so it's hard to be more specific.
After one or two skipped meals with no snacks, skids WILL eat what I make. The key is having DH on my side. He won't go through the trouble of making/buying them separate meals, but he has been known to let a snack slide here and there.
Without your DW backing you up, I don't see how this situation will get better. Maybe the solution is to let her deal with her kid's meals/snacks herself.
Draco I love when you write
Draco I love when you write but sometimes I want to nidge you alittle.
SS is no different then most preteens and teenagers.
That's what they do all summer long, sleep all day and go to bed late. I just lit into my very own two DD's. They now lose their computers at 11pm every night and need to be out of bed by 11.
Let DW handle his snacks and food for the trip. Dont stress yourself out over what she wants or what he eats or for that matter how screwed up his sleep schedule is.
It only amps you up and for what reason?
I think it drives him nuts
I think it drives him nuts because Draco has two bios and his SS is setting a bad example. He is getting away with bad behavior and yet Draco's bios have to adhere to the rules.
It was the same BS when I was growing up. My older sister got to do whatever she pleased, but my younger sisters and I (and my brother when he was there) had to abide by the rules.
Draco is looking for balance in his home. He doesn't want his SS to be a horrible role model to his other kids.
Bios can understand that SS
Bios can understand that SS is 13, much older, and has more opportunities to choose for himself.
There is a huge difference
There is a huge difference between age related privileges and special treatment.
Trust me, my sisters and I were well aware of when when mom was tipping the scales in her direction.
I second this!! Have a
I second this!! Have a PLEASANT vacation. Eliminate stress. Breathe! There you go, AHHHHH, inhale, exhale.....
Hand the kid $10 and let him pick out some snacks for himself. As skinny as he is, a little junk won't hurt him.
Rhythmic breathing is more
Rhythmic breathing is more than just an exercise in stress relief, it's a way of life for me....
nidge? SS is setting a bad
nidge?
SS is setting a bad example for my two bios. Now I really don't care if SS sleeps his summer away. Really I don't. But I for one refuse to run by HIS schedule and eating habits and that is what is making me angsty over this trip. I was raised that Breakfast, Lunch and Supper is the time to sit down and actually EAT. Snacks are extras for *IF* you are hungry. A typical summertime regimine for SS consists of the following:
Noon: Mixing bowl of sugary cereal (Frosted Flakes or Fruit loops)
3pm Snack: Nuttela sandwich with a pint-size glass of milk and cookies
supper 6pm: Two or three bites of whatever I make for supper.
7pm snack: Popcorn, chips, and two cokes
10:00pm snack: toast with peanut butter or maybe a popsicle.
SS is going to want to "stick" to his regimine and when DW humors him, the bios are going to want it to.
So what I would do here
So what I would do here is-allow each of your kids to pick out one or two snack items to take on this trip. Maybe your 4 year old wants a box of fruit snacks. Ok-that's his for the entire trip. Maybe ss wants a jar of nutella. Fine that's his for the trip. If he wants to stick his finger in there and eat the whole thing on the drive there-so be it-he gets no more snacks. He can eat at meal times along with everyone else. Now if on a random night you all decide to go out for ice cream I'd let him have that too-but I wouldn't get ss MORE snacks than everyone else just because he is ss. I would discuss this with dw before you go to prevent any unneeded stress. Just let her know that you are proposing that everyone gets their own personal snack item or two to take on the trip and hopefully they will make it last the entire trip because you just haven't budgeted more for excess snacks.
We do pack a few snacks for our vaca's. We usually have a considerable drive 10-14 hours and then usually stay in a condo or vacation house. Ive got 3 kids-11, 14, and 15. Last time I packed a box of fruit snacks, and a box of rice krispie treats. A lot were ate on the way done, a few eaten later at the vacation house and then that was that. I didn't run out midweek and buy special snacks for ds14 because he wanted some. He ate whatever groceries we had in the home or ate when we went out to eat like everybody else.
I do feel you on the staying up late sleeping all day. My two youngest definitely are doing this right now-my oldest works so I don't have that problem with her. Lately I have been leaving the youngest two more and more chores to do since they apparently are so bored they must sleep the day away. The thing is THEY even see it as a problem. This morning my youngest suggested we shut off the internet at 10pm. last night my ds14 asked if I could get him some sleeping pills because he cant fall asleep until like 3am. I suggested to both of them that I will be getting them up at 7am and giving them a list of chores in order to wear them out properly and then I will be seeing them of to their rooms by 10pm.
Hmm...You just gave me a good
Hmm...You just gave me a good idea there. What would be a good "per diem" for a family of 5? Me, DW (two adults) and three kids (ages 13, 4, and 2)?