Yes it does. My SD is already to the point of saying "I like my mommy. I don't like you and daddy." When we are the ones who kill our selves to have a relationship with her and are the ones that support her in both homes. But I guess she is only 2. How pathedic that BM's feel the need to sabotage a relationship their child has with her fathers wife. Little do they know they are hurting their child.

Step mother: A woman who cleans up everyone elses shit while she gets shat on. Step mother.

I ahve learned over the years - you bust your ass, no one cares. You threaten to stop busting your ass, everyone calls you the bad guy.

From my own experience, and what I have been reading here, step parents most often carry the weight of the family. There seem to be very few people who write in to say their spouse handles their parenting duties. There have been a multitude of times I would have bet money that my wife simply saw a respnsible,good man, with a job and some beyond usual household abilities and thought "This guy is an ATM, maid, babysitter, and driver all in one. JACKPOT!".

But it easy to see why most second marriages, with step children, fail even more than 1st marriages. The dynamic is way too complicated for most people to handle. Between ex's and children, guilt, manipulation, unresolved feelings - those of us who stepped up thinking we could make a family most often just stepped into a snake pit.

Bottom line - we are "extra". These kids have parents - they don't have any reason to have a relationship with us. They often too young or immature to recognize that having more people to love you is a bonus. It broke my heart to see my wife let her kids fail in various ways - one by one. But the pity stopped when they became disrespectful, unappreciative, and abusive - with her permission.

And one of the biggest mistakes I made was the day she told me "They are not your problem - shut up". I did just that and it has been a downward spiral since I gave up any authority in my own home. DO NOT MAKE THIS MISTAKE. If you are told it's not your business - just keep saying "If I live here and I am your spouse - it is my business".

Good luck.

AWB

I feel the same way also. No one wants to give the sp credit. Not extended family or children. That's why I want to start a support group to life one another up. It is very sad the way we are mistreated, lied about, ignored, and poked fun of by extended family. However, I've risen up above that and my husband and I have shun the extended family out of our lives. We don't talk to them, see them, or write to them. The BM only sees my df every other Sun for exchanges, that's the extent of communication, other than email. When the extended family apologizes and offers a peace offering to my liking I may consider allowing them back in. The key is the spouse. If the spouse w/the piece of sh*t family allows the extended family to misbehave, then the spouse needs redirecting and corrective action thru counseling. It worked for us. I am showing the "family" that this sm is worthy of credit, respect, and say-so.

Boss Baby

My BF allowed this to happen. I can't stand to be around his kids b/c of his and BMs attitudes about me.

OTOH, when my son was being a total ass to BF, I told him that he was an adult and living in my home...don't like him then leave. They get along now b/c I didn't allow that behavior from my kids.

I tell BF that his 8yo spit at me and said to me 'yea I spit at you and I don't care' and nothing happens. They know they can treat me like crap b/c Daddy lets them and I'm sure BM encourages it. And it is always DAddys house or Daddys this or that. Daddy didn't have a pot to piss in when we hooked up and if wasn't for me having a home, car, job, money he still wouldn't have anywhere to take his visitation.

But I don't get in the way, include his kids for my family's stuff, make sure important stuff is on the calendar. But that OK. One day it will just be BF and I and he is worth the EOW BS.

I hate being a stepmom. I love my husband and wish more than anything that he never had kids before me. The kids aren't mean to me and they seem to like being with me and their dad; I hate being a stepmom because I have to care for them as my own and I feel absolutely no motherly love for them. Other than being my husband's kids, I do not feel more love or affection for the kids than I feel for our neighbor's kids. I feel bad saying it but I feel no love or connection to my step kids. I love my nieces and nephews and little cousins more than I could ever love my own step kids, yet I have to cook, clean and provide for my step kids as if they are my own...I'm sure some people think that this makes me an evil, cold person, but I cannot control how I feel and who I love and do not love. I'd give anything to be with just my husband and our own children and get my step kids out of the picture. I do not wish them harm and I always treat them well. I walk through the motions of being a good mom to them, but I do not love them like I love my own children.

She just came in and was so sweet and cute. I AM EVIL! }:) }:) :?