Confession of time....its petty, but its how i feel

Ever since SD got lice, dh has been having sil straighten sd10s hair. So for three weeks now its a big to-do on Saturday mornings to take SD over and she washes her hair, gets it brushed out, they dump a ton of product into her hair and hit it with the flat iron.

Her hair is then pin straight instead of crazy curly. She then doesn't wash her hair all week (since it will curl back up if it gets wet) until she is back at SILs the next week. I find this practice to be way over the top. It was one thing when she was being treated for the lice, but now its just continued and seems insane to be to keep this up for a ten year old. Dh acts as if having g her leave the house with curly hair is akin to her leaving the house naked. We were at the pool until late last night and dh was almost in a panic when he realized that her hair wasn't straightened anymore. "What are we going to do about SD? (Playing dumb) what about her? "What are we going to do about her hair? Its going to curl up again?" Yeah, it is, because she has curly hair. " But what is she going to do for school tomorrow" she's going to brush it out and go to school with curly hair same as she's done every day before she got lice.

I am just so sick of the constant fawning over her as if she is some dainty princess. No one else in the family gets this special treatment. Life was throw into chaos two hours before the funeral because SD HAD to have her hair restraightened so that she could look " emaculate".... Never mind that I asked dh the day before if he wanted me to get the boys in for a hair cut because they were looking shaggy. He said no, that it was fine....but SD, that's a different story, she needs to be done up like a movie star to leave the house now.

And here's the petty part- I hate that her straightened hair makes her appear to be my daughter. Both my children got my soft straight hair, while both skids got my dhs course curly hair. So to people who don't know us, she looks more like my kids. That really irks me.

I actually made her birthday portrait session for tonight, after school, on purpose because there wasn't time to restraighten her hair.

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Its completely disgusting,

Its completely disgusting, but dh is fine with it. Seems the most important thing in both their minds is her looking a certain way.

I am just so sick of hearing about her hair. And I think this much styling isn't appropriate for a ten year old period. If when she is say 16 and wants to get a flat iron to straighten her hair, that's one thing .... But to be putting this much emphasis on how she looks at ten is too much. Everyone seems to think they are boosting g her self esteem (not that she needs it, she thinks she shits rainbows) but to me all they are doing is creating deep feelings of inadiquacies.....since what they are praising isnt how she actually looks.

My own mother, who is a

My own mother, who is a really great mom and person (IE: classy, polite and conservative in a quiet and non-fanatic sort of way) would have chopped off my hair before she would have gone through that sort of crazy.

Thank you!! That's what I

Thank you!! That's what I feel needs to happen. She needs her hair cut much shorter to a length she can manage and when she shows us that she can handle its upkeep, then we can start letting it grow out again.

But I am evil for even suggesting that and I obviously hate her. So I stay out of it now, which is why dh takes her to SIL.

Why not have it relaxed?

Its nothing I would ever

Its nothing I would ever advocate for do to the chemicals used and potential damage to her hair and scalp.

Dh is opposed to it ever since we saw a documentary on it. But he was actually willing yo do it the day the lice were discovered, but the salon was closed already so they just went with heat straightening to be able to get the lice combed out. So I bet that if someone e was to try and convince him that chemical straightening was the way to go (sil or mil) he'd probably do it.

Its not that her hair is unmanageable or unattractive.....its actually stunning when its done and taken care of, its just a matter of brushing it out and putting the effort in. She was washing it and brushing it out successfully until last fall....when she came back from MILs house with tubs and tubs of hair gel and the attitude that she shouldn't have to brush her hair out herself. The gel dried the crap out of her hair, as I knew it would, but my voice fell on deaf ears and dh let her use the gel as she saw fit. So now her hair is a dried frazzled mess.....and I can't imagine all the products that they are drenching her hair in now, nor the searing heat could possibly be helping matters.

But I refuse to have all the responsibility and none of the authority so her hair is not my problem anymore. Dh can deal with it and all the consiwuences until he will take my suggestions and advice.

Gah. I had an acquaintance

Gah. I had an acquaintance (my best friend's on and off again girlfriend) in high school who straightened her hair every day of our freshman year. By 10th grade, it was so frizzy and dry that I used to think it'd break if the wind blew wrong. She stopped (finally) after sophomore year and it took until senior year (and a lot of money and time put into it) for her to repair the damage.