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BM Response to Boundary Email? Slap FDH with Contempt of Court, of Course!

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:15pm

I opened the mail today to find a very thick envelope from the court. I texted FDH and he asked me to open it. She filed contempt charges this week stating:

- He owes her for childcare/summer camp costs because he hasn't taken the kids for half the summer. Um, the CO doesn't state that he must. It says he has the right to. It doesn't mention childcare or summer camp. Plus, her parents pay for summer camp and she had no childcare last year-- left them home alone as they are not young. Another camp was free. And WE paid for camp for one kid. So that one is stupid.

- He owes her 70% of out of pocket medical expenses. She's never presented him with a receipt. Knowing she's mentioned this to him before, I made sure he has a paper trail of what he has paid for on his own in addition to premiums he's required to pay.

- He depleted the 529 account. This one is tricky. It lost half its value in crash in 2008. But he DID use some of it for living expenses when he was unemployed in recession. So he probably owes that. She got 6k of it to keep her house out of foreclosure (long story) but she doesn't think she needs to pay that back even though she does. And he's been paying it back for the past few months now that he can breathe since he's no longer paying CS for a kid who is in college. And the rest of the money actually went for college expenses. This one is a little scary.

Nice way to reveal how vindictive you are, BM. Niiiice.

Comments

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:25pm

It is addressed and it will bite him. But not to the extent she thinks because she's going to find herself owing money to it too. And he can't be held accountable for market fluctuation, as she seems to believe.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:31pm

Honestly, I hate this animosity and hoped it would be very different when I got into this scene. But she kept upping the ante with her expectations of how this would work and what he would continue to do for her. I was tired of having another woman in my relationship and she simply wouldn't stay in her role and allow me to have mine. So she is now pissed that he wants to have a business relationship with her/not be her defacto husband anymore so she's going after him hard for money.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:28pm

So how does DH feel about this. All he did was tell her that they needed to cool the chit chat and she takes him to court? What does he think of his BFF now? lol

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:35pm

We haven't had a chance to talk except briefly. He's in the car with a kid. He said "I read your text. That is rather interesting". He will either realize now that she's selfish and vindictive or he'll blame me and say "Had you let me play nice, none of this would've happened". But the reality is (and I will remind him) that she tried to bring some of this up in court last time and they told her she needed another hearing as they weren't here to discuss those items. She didn't file until he pissed her off.

I'm sure she's whizzing around very proud of herself right now. But she doesn't realize how desperate this makes her look. At least to me...

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:40pm

There is no playing nice. Sooner or later it would have come out this way no matter what. Once the CS stops coming in, the demands always kick up another 2 notches. You just helped bring it out sooner because SHE wasn't playing nice.

New second wife-step-mom's picture

Submitted by New second wife... on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:40pm

He will either realize now that she's selfish and vindictive or he'll blame me and say "Had you let me play nice, none of this would've happened"

^^^^ This.

When DH put boundaries down for BM and she started making trouble DH made the comment to me that I was the trouble maker because they got along before I started trouble.

Needless to say that did not go over very well with me but eventually he understood what I was saying because she started slamming him pretty hard.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 4:14pm

I did that to myself and my DH said, "It would be the same way no matter WHO I was with. That is on HER not YOU."

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:37pm

Ugh I hate controlling BMs like this. That's the reason most of our DH's testes are pushed way up inside them because they don't want to stir BM's cauldrons & get slapped with this kind of crap. But the only way one gets control of the situation is to TAKE control of the situation. Hope you gave DH a nice big pat on the back for finally taking charge because he's going to have to keep taking charge to deal with this contempt.

You have really no worries on the first two though. If not on CO, she should've just sent skid over to you guys for the summer so she has to eat that expense. And she has to show receipts in a timely manner & the courts will note that. The 3rd isn't that tricky, he just has to show he was unemployed. Were you still paying CS at the time he wasn't working?

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:44pm

This was all before we met. But he was not paying. He has paid it all back though. And since I've known him (2+ years) he's paid. So this is old stuff she just complains about and holds over his head.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:45pm

Will being unemployed be an acceptable excuse for withdrawing money from an account your CO says you cant touch? I would hope it would be considered an extenuating circumstance.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:57pm

I think it was like 20K excluding the amount from the market crash. I think they will both have to pay it back. But he's showing he already he is and she is not. So hopefully, that counts for something.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 4:06pm

My fave was that she actually attached a part of the CO as supporting documentation for her summer time claims that clearly states that "he has the right" and doesn't mention obligation or paying for childcare/camp. It says "Recommendations for Visitation" at the top. She dug her own grave with that one.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 4:20pm

OOOHHH MisStep that's a good one!!
That's right! Let this bite her in the ass. Wooohooo! Similar happened with one of BM's charges against us & it bit her right in the ass & it was GLORIOUS!

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 4:26pm

I know from past experience with DH that if he doesn't counter-file, the judge will tend to not even listen to that complaint.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:59pm

Yes because they both did it. Even if she didn't do it, if she KNEW about it because he told her (better if it was in writing) there is a chance it would be understood by the judge because both parties were aware of it. But I would consult a lawyer on that. This seems all relatively simple & quick so it won't be a big case. It's better that she & DH see that he took some power back. Hell if that's what she was holding over him, then that's pretty damn weak.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 4:07pm

He doesn't have it in writing but does have a paper trail of money leaving that account and the next day him giving her a check for the exact amount of the withdrawal.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 4:03pm

Never underestimate the depths a crazy BM will go to when they want to seek revenge.

SS's BM went batshit crazy when I appeared in his life to make him be a happy man. She literally could not tolerate the thought of his being in a good relationship. Now they had been divorced for 20 years and she'd been remarried for 10 years.

So what did she do? Older SS in his mid 30s died in another state - she did not notify DH or tell him of the funeral plans. Proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is lower than low.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 4:46pm

LOL Doormat. He is busy collecting more pearls of wisdom for all of us, his grasshoppah's.

In the meantime, sharpen your swords.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 11:51pm

Can I just clarify something - I'm not sure if I am reading it right.

The 529 money - did they withdraw money separately or did HE withdraw $20,000 and then give her a cheque for $6000?

IF that is how it happened and he has no paper trail for it - THAT is where I see he could have trouble, can he counter file for her taking money out if technically she didn't?

Good luck to you either way, stay strong and stay together - do NOT let this come between you and your husband.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 9:22am

He took money over time to pay his bills when he was unemployed. But then months later there was a particular withdrawal for 6K then a paper trail where he gave her a check for 6K the day after.