Paying CS over the age of 18-Well this will suck.
Last week we get a call from BM telling my DH that her husband is going to drop SD14 from his insurance and would we be willing to cover it. When DH asked BM why she told him that they had been paying it her whole life and now it's our turn. Well ok, but you guys have family military insurance and please let me know if I am wrong but once you have more than one child the rate stays the same, correct?
DH calls me to find out what needed to be done to add her to my insurance and how much it would be. No problem, I already have my daughter on my insurance (DH's is horrible) and I know that it isn't going to bankrupt us to add SD14. I asked him to look over his divorce papers to make sure it doesn't say anything about BM having to pay insurance. My company is very detailed when it comes to covering insurance and they ask for all kinds of information. They ended up only asking for proof of cancelation of her other insurance.
While reading the papers over he notices that the CS section states that he is to pay until she is 18 or until she finishes college. Well F**k me. We both thought that 18 was the golden year. We were already planning on buying a RV or taking the girls to some exotic location to celebrate. Now, we find out that we will have to pay until SD is out of college. We don't have a problem giving her money while she is in school. She is a good kid and I know that she will do well in school and make something out of her life. I have a huge problem sending BM more sit on her ass money until this kid is out of college.
How do other families handle this? I am hoping that SD14 will go away for school. There are no schools close to her BM's so I am hoping that she will go far away from BM. DH and I are central to some of the best schools in our state, College Park, Hopkins (she needs to start studying more), Loyola College, you get the picture. So if she was going to stay in state and live at home it would be with us.
The one bright side is that BM has said recently that she needs to start looking for a job before SD14 turns 18 because she doesn't know what she will do. Seriously, she said this to me one day. If BM doesn't know that the divorce papers say through college are we off the hook? DH is planning on calling an attorney after we get settled into our new home.
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No, you won't be off the hook
No, you won't be off the hook just because BM does not know what the divorce decree says.
But, if SD lives with you while going to college, you can have the child support order modified to reflect that, so you can stop paying BM. Or, if SD goes away and lives on her own or in the dorm, I think you can arrange to pay the CS to SD directly. You would need to check your state CS law on that.
^^^ Thats how I read it
^^^ Thats how I read it also.
Sorry ladies, it says
Sorry ladies, it says basically that we have to pay until she completes college. I should have proof read better.
Happy, check with your
Happy, check with your state's CS laws & the decree. Our state says only till 21 whether child completes college or not. Hell, I knew people that stayed in school getting their bachelors & their masters till well into their 30s.
Thanks for the tip. When DH
Thanks for the tip. When DH calls a lawyer I will be sure he asks about this. I can't imagine having to pay BM until she graduates. I even think SD14 will have an issue with this because we all know that the money will not go to her.
Love this idea!
Love this idea!
Great but again depends on
Great but again depends on the state. It's 50% chance they will not allow it. Simply because they view CS as separate from College tuition/ fees. It becomes sticky so a lawyer really needs to sit down & discuss this with you.
I fixed it.
I fixed it.
In my state we have the same
In my state we have the same thing. DH's other son, solely in BM's custody (a real winner), is over 18 & in our decree it says if over 18 BUT enrolled in college full time, he is still unemancipated until age 21. BUT he must NOT have a full time job, be in the military & must attend college w/ passing grades. Well, he took a F/T job because he was NOT going to college, just enrolled to collect CS.
We took BM to court again for the 2nd child's BM modification (we had our Zeus like lawyer for this---filing alone takes too long) & the judge understood what was going on. We were granted both modifications in our favor so we need only to pay for a few months longer for the college drop out. Turns out BM owes us CS for the money she falsely collected for both kids esp the one that has been in our sole custody for over a year.
However, BM can still take us for modification to continue support IF her child goes back to attending college full time with passing grades (he cannot drop out again though). But that's a big IF because though our CS is bigger than most, the full time job earned more.
BUT frankly, it's better that we do continue paying for CS & he go to college & live with BM & not with us going through our stuff, etc. It'd be like giving BM the key to our home. We'd need barbed wire all around the hedges.
Good luck!
I love your picture. No wire
I love your picture. No wire hangers!!
LOL. Yes the hangers clashed
LOL. Yes the hangers clashed a bit with the earrings
check your state, that
check your state, that agreement is not relevent and can be fought if you are in a state where cs stops at 18.
personally DH decree can state that he is willing to pay college all it wants to you cant get blood from a stone in our case
It is a nightmare but it's
It is a nightmare but it's also the state you live in. Whether you have a good lawyer or not in our state, it's the law regarding the in-college-till-21 rule & all BMs here know that. BM would literally have to sign a piece of paper that she will be responsible for CS & college. So we actually got lucky with the clause if he drops out of college or goes into the military, we don't have to pay till 21.
It is absurd but it is the
It is absurd but it is the law in my state.
I really don't mind covering
I really don't mind covering her insurance. I agree with you that BM should still be covering it especially since it isn't costing thier family any more money. However, I would rather her be covered by my "good" insurance than having something happen to her and her not be covered by insurance. The whole situation could be a lot worse. If covering SD on my insurance keeps the crazy BM away from us then I am ok with it. We each choose what battles to face as step parents and this is one that DH and I choose to concede with. My DH's insurance is really just "worst case" insurance. It really doesn't cover anything. I would rather her be safe and secure than to worry about what will happen if god forid anything horrible would happen.
In Colorado, it's 19 or until
In Colorado, it's 19 or until graduation from high school, whichever occurs later. SD14 will graduate (IF she graduates on time) in May, but we will have to continue paying until August when she turns 19.
In Michigan, it is 18 or until graduation from high school, whichever occurs later. DD15 will turn 18 in February, but I'll have to continue paying CS for her until she graduates in June.
You can have this amended to
You can have this amended to pay the college directly for her tuition not to BM. Every state is different, ours doesn't make you pay after 18. DH decree says nothing about college.
Agree, you have to try this.
Agree, you have to try this. Also agree Happy that putting SD's coverage on either you or DH's (as long as it's on this side of your fence) looks sooo much better in court as most surely your BM's SO is very convincing with your BM, so first is insurance, next CS, next...?
We thought about that and
We thought about that and decided that it wouldn't be worth going back to court for just to stir up BM. My insurance is just going to go up an additonal $80 a month. We would spend more than that in court fees. It sucks yes. We are buying our first home so I always think in terms of paint and carpet when it comes to money. In the long run it really is best if we just suck it up for SD14's sake. We have learned in the long run that we can pick our battles with BM. This one we both agree that we can take a hit for and hopefully it will give us an edge in the future.
In our state, CS goes
In our state, CS goes directly to the skid at 18. Even if they are still in HS. DH's CO states he pays until she's 21 only if she goes to college. Check with your state because it may be the same and the BM won't actually receive the CS payments once she's in college.