quick question - am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?
Ok, so I haven't raised this with OH as I just didn't want the fight.
But I think I have to. I think I should have handled it differently at the time, but you don't sometimes do you...
Tea last night. I serve it up, pour gravy on those who want it, sd, dd10 and ss9 carry theirs to the table, I take mine, dd7's and OH's.
Only SD, dd7 myself and OH had gravy.
Whilst we are eating I notice that sd has an extra sausage on her plate, no problems, there were leftovers - I put them on the other side of the bench while I served the rest, she was welcome to grab more (though she did say only 1 when I was putting out the sausages - no matter)
When I go into the kitchen after I finished I noticed gravy spilt all down the cupboard and pooling on the floor under where I put the sausages...
I asked who did it. NO answer. Then dd7 says SD did it when she got her extra sausage (I knew this already was hoping she'd own up) She said No I didn't. I said well you were the only one who came over here since I put the sausages there.
She just stood there, OH just sat at the table, like Oh well. So I just shut up and cleaned it up.
I am SOOOOO pissed off though, that he didn't tell her to do it, or fuck it that I didn't tell her.
Should I raise this with OH? I am NOT the maid, if it had been one of mine they would have been told to wipe it up.
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no youre not wrong, To leave
no youre not wrong,
To leave gravy dripping and pooling....gross!! Youre no ones maid, and if they can cary their own plate and serve themselves extra servings, im sure taking a rag to the mess isnt asking too much.
your SO shouldve said/done something, and im sure thats whats pissing you off even more.
I mean, come on SO!!! Just tell your kid to "clean up after yourself"
you make a mess.....you clean it up!
Thats the kind basic things kids should learn, whether their parents are together or not. geez
Exactly, the way things are
Exactly, the way things are with sd I really need him to be the one to parent her, it does not go well when I try.
I just couldn't believe that he didn't tell her to, (actually I am more shocked that he didn't just do it himself rather than ask the princess)
Ohw ell
Don't let them get away with
Don't let them get away with lying and don't clean up their messes. You have to set boundaries and enforce the rules so the kids learn right from wrong.
You are not unreasonable. I
You are not unreasonable. I would have told her to clean it up.
Telling someone to clean up a mess that they made in your house is not overstepping the parenting line, in my opinion. And OH definitely needs to hold her accountable for the lying.
That's exactly it - if I tell
That's exactly it - if I tell her to do it there would be hell to pay from HER, BM and even fucking him.
HE needed to step up.
But you are all right, when he didn't I should have told her to, and I should have hauled his arse over the coals if he DARED complain about it.
I am just so over the whole fucking deal right now.
If I had any cash I would walk away, but all my money is tied up in the house, so I am stuck.
I don't even have enough right now to go to a motel for a few days (I literally just checked the bank account because that was my plan) Maybe I could just pile furniture up in front of the doors so he can't get it LOL
Yes. Exactly. Good luck to
Yes. Exactly.
Good luck to you too, I think we're going to need it.
"If he can't see the small window in where he can make things right, then he shouldn't be with me"
THIS is what I have been trying to get through to my OH for weeks. It wouldn't even take much, some appreciation, a bit of effort, acknowledgement, stepping up sometimes, surprising me.
Today I feel so sick, I am literally barely functioning, was the same last night, to the point where I have dropped my dd's at dancing this morning and left them there, will pick them up at 4pm (usually I would stay all day with them but I just couldn't do it today, needed to come home and rest) OH KNEW this, KNEW how crap I feel, I asked him to do ONE thing - hang out his work uniforms which *I* washed at 10pm last night, after coming home and half eight and cooking tea for everyone.
I get home at half 9, and he is gone (usually he lays in bed half the morning) but today he is going to ss9's basketball game then taking the skids to the football (now it's BM's w/e and the b.ball starts at 11:45...) So I rang him to see where he was. At the supermarket picking up food for the skids this afternoon...
OK. (Oh, and we were supposed to be going out for dinner tomorrow, OH, me and my 2 dd's - I decided to forego that so that he could have his afternoon at the footy with his skids - we can't afford both. Any thanks or appreciation that I have given up something for me and mine so he and his can have - oh fuck no.)
I go into the house and it is freezing. We have a wood heater. Not only did he not hang the washing, he didn't bring in any wood or light the fire, knowing I was on my way home again and sick. Would it have KILLED him to do that for me???????????
No, he gets home, proceeds to put the soft drink for the skids in the freezer, and make them special rolls for lunch, as well as two massive bags of chips for them.
I just sat there crying - and reminded him of how early on I had told him that while I was with my ex I had pneumonia and asked him to bring some wood in and light the fire for me as I could NOT move I was so ill. He refused, he was too busy. OH was horrified and promised me he would always take care of me and ranted about what kind of man he thought my ex was.
Now he has stormed off and is bitching that I am never happy, he can never do anything right no matter how hard he tries.
ALL he has done for me in the last week is actually NOT have his son last night when BM asked. And of course THAT was thrown in my face today.
He can just FUCK OFF TOO.
Oh I know exactly what you
Oh I know exactly what you mean, no matter what you do it's not enough.
I feel the same, I try and I try, and when I am dead and emotionally drained and physically exhausted I try some more.
And it's NEVER enough.
They just take and take and take, and the worst part - I think this is what has me in such a mess at the moment - I just changed my ISP and have a new email address, I couldn't use outlook on my pc with the one I have had since I moved states to be with OH and his brats, so I just started using outlook again, and have been re-reading some of the emails we exchanged in our early days together.
The way he treated me, the things he said to me - I want THAT man back, the one who loved me so much, to whom I was so important, who promised me so much. Not this POS who defers to his spawn, allows them to disrespect lie and steal from my and my dd's, thinks only of his own wants and his kids wants over anyone else. Who could not for a second parent if his life depended on it.
He actually said to me once when we were arguing that his daughter had told him she feels sorry for my dd's because I yelled at them. I asked him (VERY calmly and politely - that should have been a clue for him) how he responded and he said "oh I just told her I would never yell at her like that and neither would you!"
OMFG really? THAT is how you defend your spouse? The times she told my dd I was a lying cheating cow? What did you say to her then? Sorry? NOTHING??? really? That is how you defend your spouse?
The thing is, he WAS so great, and he said all the right things, and he treated me so well - until I left my home, my friends, my business and moved states. Now I am broke, alone and have nothing and nowhere to go. And now he acts like such a jerk.