What makes it worth it to you?
I read a blog this morning, and thought to myself, "no way, no how. That would be an absolute deal breaker for me." Which got me wondering, a lot of SM's and SD's here put up with an incredible about of BS, what makes it all worth it? Besides love, of course, I'm assuming we all love out spouses and/or SOs, but I don't believe love can conquer all. So what does DH do for you, with you, or whatever, that makes the relationship worth staying in? My hell isn't so bad anymore, and typically only comes in waves, but still, here's mine:
1) My DH respects that I just am not mentally and emotionally stable enough myself to deal with the crazy, and usually does an excellent job of acting as a buffer between me and his family drama.
2) My DH cleans house. He puts in about 2 hr.s per day more than me Mon.-Fri., but almost every Thursday night, in order to keep up with my classes, I have to stay up all night, so we call it fair and split household chores.
3) DH picks up cooking one night per week. May not sound like much, but I appreciate it.
4) DH is willing to watch the kids on weekends if he knows I have HW due Monday, so that I can actually get it done. Sometimes, this even includes them all leaving the house to go to the park so I can work in peace.
5) DH goes shopping with me. Yep. We all load up and head to Home Depot to look at (???) and then we get to go to the mall or Good Will or some such other.
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I just wrote a blog earlier
I just wrote a blog earlier giving credit to my SO. I hate to think all I do is gripe.
1. SO cooks all the time. He did this before I moved in when he was a full time single dad.
2. SO cleans too. He's actually neater than I am.
3. SO seems genuinely interested in having an adult relationship separate from his son. The effect is SO does prioritize our relationship.
4. He will see through his own son's bs sometimes and call SS out on it.
5. SO in some ways is a lot more upbeat and positive than I am. SO calls me Eeyore's sister.
6. Good sense of humor, stable good paying job, hard worker.
7. Will sometimes actually try to talk things out instead of completely avoiding them.
8. Overall, SO is not a wimp.
I agree some here, tolerate a
I agree some here, tolerate a lot more than I would, but I'm not them, I don't live in their shoes and see all aspects of it so I can only judge by what they put here.
I still haven't decided if it's worth it and that's why I'm in no hurry to remarry. There are still so many aspects of couple life, blended life and my career that we haven't had to deal with that I don't know if how we'd address it would be a deal breaker. That and I'm stubborn, I have a wall up still from my exh and the damage done there I'm working on. Just taking my time, because in 5 years I don't want others here to be wondering how the hell I'm still with the guy.
1,2,5, and the incredible
1,2,5, and the incredible frequent sex.
Did you just say your DH
:jawdrop: Did you just say your DH cooks and cleans. I'm still shocked. Everytime someone says their husband cleans I want to grab DH by the back of the head and shove his face to the computer. " See DH men do clean". I'm so jealous. *sigh* luccccky. But what does mak it worth it for me s that.
1. DH always sticks up for me and defends my honor agaisnt anyone.
2. He always makes me laugh
3. He tries to do things that I like and I do things he likes and we end up bonding
4. Even after a blow up argument he says he is sorry and we cuddle
5. He is yummy to the eyes
6. He is a pretty good dad
7. I know in my heart I can always trust him
DH and I are best friends. He
DH and I are best friends. He is not just my husband. I tell him everything, he tells me everything. We are a team.
1. He is loving and affectionate no matter who is around
2. He respects my role in SS's life and appreciates everything I do for him
3. He supports me (and I him) in all decisions in ALL areas of our life together. We talk about things and we make a game plan TOGETHER.
4. He is my biggest fan
5. He's super sexy
This is a great task. SO and
This is a great task. SO and I have been having so many troubles lately, it seems like all I can focus on is what a mess things are with him and the skids and forgetting what drew me to him in the first place!
1. His bright blue eyes and GREAT smile. One of those smiles that always makes you smile back.
2. He LOVES his children and is a good father and provider
3. He is a very responsible worker and has a great job
4. We get along great and have many things in common
5. Even in tough times, we communicate with each other and he listens to me
6. He LOVES me!
I didn't want to mention
I didn't want to mention looks b/c it's kinda shallow, and because I've known plenty of totally hot guys who were complete douche bags, but since you all brought it up,
yeah, DH *is* a total hottie. }:)
I don't want to answer this
I don't want to answer this right now as DH is being a pill tonight. He's been in a bad mood and when I asked him what was wrong he said "just leave me alone". He doesn't have a clue as to how alone I could leave him.
Hahaha! Sorry, I'm not
Hahaha! Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. It's just that I've had those nights *and* those thoughts.
For our first eight yrs if
For our first eight yrs if someone asked me whether I'd do it again I'd have said no flipping way. The past three we've realized we are a team, kids are gone and we are still together, happy, and in love. Kids will leave eventually, if you're still in love by then, I think you're meant to be!!
My DH actually learned from
My DH actually learned from his past mistakes and is a great husband. He really is a good partner who cleans, cooks, helps with the kids, makes me laugh, is super affectionate and always lets me know he loves me. Definitely pros outweigh cons..except for...BM..