My SS14 has been lethargic for a couple of weeks now. DH had taken him to the doctor last week for his physical but didn't mention any of the issues since he no longer had a fever when they were in there. Well the kid had lost 5 pounds since his physical a year earlier. This kid is never sick. I kept saying something is wrong with him. His fever came back and DH kept giving him Tylenol and it would go back to down. Finally on Sunday, I said I am calling the doctor in the morning. They made him come in as soon as he was back from school. The kid has no energy and sounds like he is going to cough a lung. I am somewhat disengaged, but working my way back since we have had full custody since last July.

Well, Doctor acted quick and wanted him at the hospital as soon as the lab and x-ray opened this morning. Turns out I was right, something was wrong, he has pneumonia. I told the doctor yesterday when I had taken him in that my instincts say something is wrong. He told me he never argued with a mothers intuition...This morning when they called for us to come in immediately, I reminded him. He told me exactly why I never argue with a mom.

I signed all these papers as "Mom" today. I held his hand when they injected him with the antibiotic. I handled everything and I told DH when he got him that I needed a huge Mea Culpa from him on this one. He actually got on the floor and kissed my feet laughing that I was right and something was wrong. I told him for the first time I actually felt like mom.

Well after talking about this I asked him if he thought we should tell BM what is going on. She never gave us that courtesy before with SS or SD. We would never know anything if SD hadn't told or we didn't cover their insurance. He said No. I intend to continue to keep my communication with her non-existent.

I would normally feel that a mom has a right to know. But, she gave up that right when she PAS's SD right out of our house. I do not think she deserves it. She never communicated anything and even tried medicating SS without DH's consent when she was sure that he had ADD. He didn't and DH fought her on that. The child that she always said had something wrong with him is now getting all A's and B's since we got full custody and got the attention he deserved.

It has been hard to be his mom knowing she is still out there and sees him once every three weeks for dinner. I was accused so long of being a bitch and meddling in her kids lives. Evil SM and all having rules, we all know the story, I think I have PTSD from the court case and the drama with SD.

DH is still working on a relationship with SD17 and even doing an activity with her this week and taking her to a BB game for her birthday. They have only gone to lunch for the last two years once a month and even then, no communication at all for a year of that. I have said nothing, and have asked that he only email me and not talk about her out loud to me in order to prevent fights.

I disagree with spending anything on her and he knows that. He did mention when we were talking about finances that he paid only 25 for the ticket for her and I said if you have money for that do not tell me going forward that there is no money for going out this month. He knows better...We are about to pay a huge tax bill and he has been whining about it. I paid half and he paid half. But, no saying he has no money for anything if he spends a dime on her. I was clear and walked away so we don't argue about it. We never argue unless it is about that child and this email way of telling me he is going to see her, is working. At least it is only once a month that it comes up.

Just curious if other custodial mom's agree about not telling BM if she has no legal rights anymore because she gave them up, about her child being sick. Not a cold or the flu, but sick.

We are not planning on saying anything, but I am sure DH will mention it to SD when he takes her out on Friday. So it will get to BM I am sure....Always does.