that is very shitty. i have had my mind made up for years that if i ever had a boy, his middle name would be after my cousin who was murdered. i had bs5, but fdh wanted to give him his late brother's name for a middle name, and i had to give that to him. i'm having a boy in june, and this child will have my cousin's name for a middle name. my cousin's niece recently found out she is having a boy in july, and she is using the same middle name. that doesn't bother me at all, but she is a bitch and a drama queen, so even though i have had this planned for a long time, when she finds out, i know she will freak out and tell everyone i "stole" her name. we don't even see much of each other, and i really don't think it's a big deal for both of us to do this. it's a MIDDLE name. but i know she's going to have one of her famous tantrums, and i really don't give a shit.

if bro and sil steal your name, and you decide you want it, use it anyway. don't let them take that from you.

If they just found out their pregnant I'd assume your child will be born first?

Well, easy answer is if you have a girl you use the name first.

If you have a boy, well, is it a name that could go either way?

OR if they are hell bent on using that name and you don't have a girl to "use it first" you can point out that when you have a girl that WILL be her name and that "won't it be cute they'll have the same name?"

Hey! I have personal experience with this one!!! lol

My family has a "Family Name" that it seems everyone and their mother has. For ease I'll say it's "Amy" (it's not actually lol). I have a big family and my mother was pregnant at the same time as 3 of her cousins. All of them wanted to use the family name. I came first, so I am "Amy". My next cousin's mom didn't care that I was already named "Amy" and named her daughter "Amy" as well. The next cousin's mom freaked a little and decided to name her daughter "Amie" so that it wasn't spelled the same. Last cousin born's mom freaked out majorly and named her "May", with the same letters but different name.

Now to just toss out there: "Amy" and I were best buds. LOVED having the same name and never had an issue. "May" had a "You stole my name" complex because her mom NEVER shut up about it. Every time there was a reunion she went on and on about how everyone stole her name and she had to go with "May". It really comes down to how the parents portray it. "Amy"'s mom and my mom just said "We both loved the name so much that we decided to name both of you it and love you both!"

I, too, had a girls name picked out since I was in high school.. then along came BM and shot that all to hell! Yep - BM's name is my very favorite name for a girl.. lol.. doesn't that figure? Doesn't matter anyway - we just don't have girls in my family.. not this generation of baby-makers, anyway! Myself and all of my siblings (3 boys, 3 girls total) have given my parents a total of 11 grandSONS, 0 grandDAUGHTERS.. until I married DH.. now the count stands at 12 boys, 1 girl. At this point, we wouldn't know what to do with a girl if someone actually had one!

On another note, my oldest brother's first born is a "Jr.". When DH and I were trying to decide on a name for BS1, we had a heck of a time.. UGH.. completely different ideas/likes. But we were certain that BS middle name would be DH's first name. Then we were watching a show one night and one of the characters' names really stuck on me.. and I had dreams about calling BS by the name. That was it for me.. told DH this would be BS first name, and he finally agreed. Not until a few weeks later did it don on me that this name + DH's middle name = my brother's and nephew's name almost identically!! The only difference is 1 extra letter in the first name.. middle names are the exact same.. lol.. not a big deal in our family.. in fact, nephew (16 yrs old) told me that he was STOKED that I loved him so much I named my son after him! Love that kid!

Funny thing about naming girls - my exh and I decided that to be fair, we'd each write down 10 boys names and 10 girls names and compare the lists. If any names appeared on both of our lists, we'd consider those first.

So, my daughter's name appeared on both lists as did the boy name of "Corey" (my ex's best friend from the Army).

Anyhow, so when we found out the sex of the baby, at 8 mos pregnant, ex told his great grandma (who just turned 105 last month on my DD15's birthday!) it was a girl, she said "Well, just make sure she has a GIRL name like Mary (her own name!) or Jane (ex MIL's name) not some weird name that no one will know if she's a boy or a girl".

Yep, you guessed it - my daughter has a "crossover" name. It's a last name for some, a boy's name and a girl's name for others. One of the main reasons I chose her name was because it was also the last name of my great-grandfather (Of course I never knew him but he was a great man and inspired me).

I too had a girls name picked out since I was about 14 we'll say Mary Jane because it's not a very popular name/combination. My now x bestfriend (we were NOT friends when her child was born) had a little girl when she was 18...she named the kid Jane Mary. I am still VERY close with x bestfriend's sister but yeah...it sucked!

I have since found that I am unable to have kids so it just sucks a little more...not sure if it's cause I'll never have my own "Mary Jane" or if it's because of the fact that this witch did what she did...either way...boo!

There's nothing wrong with cousins sharing their names though...if your heart is set on the name you've had picked out since your youth, USE IT.

For my first born daughter, I had 3 names I really liked, my brother informed me he disliked them all. Well 6 years later guess what, his first daughters middle name was my #2, his second daughters first name was my #1 and his second daughters middle name was my #3.....

Asswhipe - no, I didn't use them, so he was entitled to them, but I thought to myself, well gee, how ironic that all is, isn't it?