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Not sure what to do

alwaysastepmom's picture

Submitted by alwaysastepmom on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:27am

I have posted on here before about my SO's family being like the "mafia" b/c of the way they treat me & my kids. My SO & I have had many fights over this & I have told him how I feel about his family. My SO's 18yo niece is having a birthday dinner tonight. Everyone was invited including me & my kids. My kids were supposed to be with my ex tonight but his SO's kids have the flu so I am keeping my kids. I was not going to go since I didn't have my kids anyway & my SO seemed a little mad about it but he knows how I feel so didn't say anything. Now that I will have my kids, I think he is expecting us to go. When I told him that I wasn't sure if we would or not, he started to get a little more irritated. I do not like being around his family b/c like I said before, they ignore me & my kids. They will say hello & goodbye but that's about it. I would rather stay at home with my kids or take them somewhere to eat b/c I never have alone time with them, but I know that my SO will be mad & will try to make something of this. What should I do? Go & keep the peace or stay with my kids & have him give me the silent treatment for the rest of the week or start some kind of argument with me? The other thing is, my dd will want to know why she doesn't get to go when they leave. My ds could care less b/c he would rather stay home & play, but my dd enjoys going out no matter who it's with.

Comments

alwaysastepmom's picture

Submitted by alwaysastepmom on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:31am

I also forgot to mention that the only person in SO's family who EVER comes to my kid's birthdays is his mom & of the 5 years we have been together, I think she has been to a total of 4 between both of my kids. And yes, they have all been invited & not only did they not come, they did not get them a card or anything although they always get SO's kids a present & come to the party.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:33am

If everyone in his family treats you this way....stay home. Explain to your daughter that this is an event for dh's family and that you guys will have family time at home.

I get treated the same way by dhs family. If its a function at my in-laws house....I do not go and neither do my kids. If its at a neutral location and cousins will be there then I go so my sons can play with their cousins.

alwaysastepmom's picture

Submitted by alwaysastepmom on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 2:55pm

That's part of my problem with it too. My family always includes his kids. They always come to their birthdays & if they can't, they make sure to get them a present & bring it to them. They make sure to speak to them & hug them & everything. And my kids SURE do not run off & ignore his kids when we are with my family. SO's kids even pretend that my kids don't exist when we are with his family.

alwaysastepmom's picture

Submitted by alwaysastepmom on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 3:18pm

I have already disengaged from his children as much as possible. I have just never had this problem with anyone else's family. My friends, my ex, old boyfriends, no other family has made me feel so excluded. If it were just me, I would probably just suck it up & deal with it, but they are excluding my kids & that hurts to watch kids & adults both treat your children like they aren't good enough, especially when my kids haven't done anything to deserve it other than not being blood-related.